Doctor, Doctor, My tooth is hurting!
Is it your K-9?
*cheese*
Is it your K-9?
*cheese*
dr who jokes
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Contrary to popular belief there are indeed ducks in Leadworth duckpond, but they are French ducks, which is why you canard-ly see them.
Hey, I've been lurking for a while and finally decided to make an account!
So this is my first post! Anyway, enough of my babbling, heres a joke:
It's the year 30254 and humans now populate thousands of planets, Joe is the current church leader on a newly discovered planet; Zong. he prays every night and before every meal. And he likes to preach his beliefs unto many of his friends, everyone looks up to him. But one day, on this newly discovered planet. His artificial gravitational pull generator (which each person started being fitted with at birth from the year 3000) breaks! And because the gravity on Zong is so weak, Joe starts to float out towards a giant black hole! The whole plant is in shock,there church leader is about to die! No-one can do anything except watch as he float towards the black hole and pray. Suddenly Joe can hear a faint humming kind of screeching noise! Its the doctor! The Tardis materialises next to Joe and the Doctor reaches out his hand towards Joes! It was a miracle! But Joe refused to take the doctors hand. Instead he simply told the Doctor. "I dont need you help, God will save me". The Doctor respected Joe and so simply left, and Joe continued to float towards the black hole.
The next day Joe was still floating and was now alot closer, everyone was still watching, but Joe was very relaxed. Waiting for god to save him. Then suddenly from no-where appeared a small robotic dog! Its was K-9! "Hello master, I am trying to control this black hole, but I saw you floating out here and thought I should save you"! It was a miracle! But Joe simply replied "I dont need you help, God will save me". So K-9 left.
It had been 3 days now and Joe was very close to the black hole, everyone on his planet Zong was watching, but still Joe was peacefully drifting and waiting for god to save him. Then suddenly appeared the Tardis... AGAIN! But a new man was in it! Joe was confused, but he knew what he had to do. Before the new 'Doctor' could say anything, Joe simply told him "I dont need you help, God will save me".
It was day four now, and unfortunately last night Joe fell into the black hole and died. The inhabitants of Zong were upset, but they knew they would have to move on. But Joe, he was upset, and very angry! Thankfully he had got past security into heaven, and now he was out to find God. But on his way through a district called 'Cloud 193' he bumped into Jesus and was shocked to find that the waiting list for talking to god is 778965 Earth years! Although compared to the eternity he was spending in Heaven it wasn't that long, he still wanted to talk to god now! He decided that maybe he should ask Jesus what he wanted to know, Jesus was Gods son! So Joe said to Jesus "I'm very annoyed Ill tell you Jesus, I spent three days floating towards that black hole waiting for god to save me! What the hel- I mean what the heck! Happend!?"
To which Jesus Replied.
"He sent you 2 doctors and K-9! What more could you want!?"
I just used an old kind of known joke and changed it round a bit.
I know, Its not that good, and yes, I did write all that myself
,
I hope you liked it.
Fearsona
So this is my first post! Anyway, enough of my babbling, heres a joke:
It's the year 30254 and humans now populate thousands of planets, Joe is the current church leader on a newly discovered planet; Zong. he prays every night and before every meal. And he likes to preach his beliefs unto many of his friends, everyone looks up to him. But one day, on this newly discovered planet. His artificial gravitational pull generator (which each person started being fitted with at birth from the year 3000) breaks! And because the gravity on Zong is so weak, Joe starts to float out towards a giant black hole! The whole plant is in shock,there church leader is about to die! No-one can do anything except watch as he float towards the black hole and pray. Suddenly Joe can hear a faint humming kind of screeching noise! Its the doctor! The Tardis materialises next to Joe and the Doctor reaches out his hand towards Joes! It was a miracle! But Joe refused to take the doctors hand. Instead he simply told the Doctor. "I dont need you help, God will save me". The Doctor respected Joe and so simply left, and Joe continued to float towards the black hole.
The next day Joe was still floating and was now alot closer, everyone was still watching, but Joe was very relaxed. Waiting for god to save him. Then suddenly from no-where appeared a small robotic dog! Its was K-9! "Hello master, I am trying to control this black hole, but I saw you floating out here and thought I should save you"! It was a miracle! But Joe simply replied "I dont need you help, God will save me". So K-9 left.
It had been 3 days now and Joe was very close to the black hole, everyone on his planet Zong was watching, but still Joe was peacefully drifting and waiting for god to save him. Then suddenly appeared the Tardis... AGAIN! But a new man was in it! Joe was confused, but he knew what he had to do. Before the new 'Doctor' could say anything, Joe simply told him "I dont need you help, God will save me".
It was day four now, and unfortunately last night Joe fell into the black hole and died. The inhabitants of Zong were upset, but they knew they would have to move on. But Joe, he was upset, and very angry! Thankfully he had got past security into heaven, and now he was out to find God. But on his way through a district called 'Cloud 193' he bumped into Jesus and was shocked to find that the waiting list for talking to god is 778965 Earth years! Although compared to the eternity he was spending in Heaven it wasn't that long, he still wanted to talk to god now! He decided that maybe he should ask Jesus what he wanted to know, Jesus was Gods son! So Joe said to Jesus "I'm very annoyed Ill tell you Jesus, I spent three days floating towards that black hole waiting for god to save me! What the hel- I mean what the heck! Happend!?"
To which Jesus Replied.
"He sent you 2 doctors and K-9! What more could you want!?"
I just used an old kind of known joke and changed it round a bit.
I know, Its not that good, and yes, I did write all that myself
,I hope you liked it.
Fearsona
It was dark, and the Judoon spaceship landed in London without anyone noticing. One lone Judoon got out, and set out to Wembley Stadium, but was struck in horror as he saw who was singing. “OH-NO, BO-NO!”. He ran on stage, and the crowd started screaming. “What do you want?” the audience cried. The Judoon hesitated. “SO-LO”. Scared out of their wits, the members of U2 ran off the stage. The Judoon stepped up to the microphone, but didn’t know what to sing. He stormed off crying. He knew what he was. “NO-SHOW”.
A member of the audience took pity on him. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”. The Judoon replied, “SO-SO”. The girl introduced herself as Emma, and asked if he wanted a lift home. The Judoon shook his head. “NO”. When asked why, he simply replied “HO-BO”.
“So you don’t like U2, huh? What about George Michael? You know, wake me up before you-”. Emma was interrupted. “GO-GO”. She laughed. “You’re so cute! How you feeling now?”. The Judoon sighed. “SO-LOW”. She tried to make him happy, asking him questions about himself. “What’s your favourite sport?”. The Judoon tried to think, which was hard for him. “PO-LO”. She asked him how he played it. “THROW.” She seemed a little unsettled by this, and asked him his name.
The Judoon nodded. “MOE”. She asked him if he wanted to go to the pub. “NO-GO”. She was frustrated now, and asked why. He pointed to a nearby injured bird. “NO-TOE-CROW.” She frowned. “Poor crow...”. She looked back, and was surprised to see him and her handbag gone. She saw a spaceship suddenly soar up into the sky, and saw the Judoon grabbing onto it, uttering some final words of condolence.
“LOL”.
A member of the audience took pity on him. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”. The Judoon replied, “SO-SO”. The girl introduced herself as Emma, and asked if he wanted a lift home. The Judoon shook his head. “NO”. When asked why, he simply replied “HO-BO”.
“So you don’t like U2, huh? What about George Michael? You know, wake me up before you-”. Emma was interrupted. “GO-GO”. She laughed. “You’re so cute! How you feeling now?”. The Judoon sighed. “SO-LOW”. She tried to make him happy, asking him questions about himself. “What’s your favourite sport?”. The Judoon tried to think, which was hard for him. “PO-LO”. She asked him how he played it. “THROW.” She seemed a little unsettled by this, and asked him his name.
The Judoon nodded. “MOE”. She asked him if he wanted to go to the pub. “NO-GO”. She was frustrated now, and asked why. He pointed to a nearby injured bird. “NO-TOE-CROW.” She frowned. “Poor crow...”. She looked back, and was surprised to see him and her handbag gone. She saw a spaceship suddenly soar up into the sky, and saw the Judoon grabbing onto it, uttering some final words of condolence.
“LOL”.
Originally Posted by Iglex:
“It was dark, and the Judoon spaceship landed in London without anyone noticing. One lone Judoon got out, and set out to Wembley Stadium, but was struck in horror as he saw who was singing. “OH-NO, BO-NO!”. He ran on stage, and the crowd started screaming. “What do you want?” the audience cried. The Judoon hesitated. “SO-LO”. Scared out of their wits, the members of U2 ran off the stage. The Judoon stepped up to the microphone, but didn’t know what to sing. He stormed off crying. He knew what he was. “NO-SHOW”.
A member of the audience took pity on him. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”. The Judoon replied, “SO-SO”. The girl introduced herself as Emma, and asked if he wanted a lift home. The Judoon shook his head. “NO”. When asked why, he simply replied “HO-BO”.
“So you don’t like U2, huh? What about George Michael? You know, wake me up before you-”. Emma was interrupted. “GO-GO”. She laughed. “You’re so cute! How you feeling now?”. The Judoon sighed. “SO-LOW”. She tried to make him happy, asking him questions about himself. “What’s your favourite sport?”. The Judoon tried to think, which was hard for him. “PO-LO”. She asked him how he played it. “THROW.” She seemed a little unsettled by this, and asked him his name.
The Judoon nodded. “MOE”. She asked him if he wanted to go to the pub. “NO-GO”. She was frustrated now, and asked why. He pointed to a nearby injured bird. “NO-TOE-CROW.” She frowned. “Poor crow...”. She looked back, and was surprised to see him and her handbag gone. She saw a spaceship suddenly soar up into the sky, and saw the Judoon grabbing onto it, uttering some final words of condolence.
.”
“It was dark, and the Judoon spaceship landed in London without anyone noticing. One lone Judoon got out, and set out to Wembley Stadium, but was struck in horror as he saw who was singing. “OH-NO, BO-NO!”. He ran on stage, and the crowd started screaming. “What do you want?” the audience cried. The Judoon hesitated. “SO-LO”. Scared out of their wits, the members of U2 ran off the stage. The Judoon stepped up to the microphone, but didn’t know what to sing. He stormed off crying. He knew what he was. “NO-SHOW”.
A member of the audience took pity on him. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”. The Judoon replied, “SO-SO”. The girl introduced herself as Emma, and asked if he wanted a lift home. The Judoon shook his head. “NO”. When asked why, he simply replied “HO-BO”.
“So you don’t like U2, huh? What about George Michael? You know, wake me up before you-”. Emma was interrupted. “GO-GO”. She laughed. “You’re so cute! How you feeling now?”. The Judoon sighed. “SO-LOW”. She tried to make him happy, asking him questions about himself. “What’s your favourite sport?”. The Judoon tried to think, which was hard for him. “PO-LO”. She asked him how he played it. “THROW.” She seemed a little unsettled by this, and asked him his name.
The Judoon nodded. “MOE”. She asked him if he wanted to go to the pub. “NO-GO”. She was frustrated now, and asked why. He pointed to a nearby injured bird. “NO-TOE-CROW.” She frowned. “Poor crow...”. She looked back, and was surprised to see him and her handbag gone. She saw a spaceship suddenly soar up into the sky, and saw the Judoon grabbing onto it, uttering some final words of condolence.
.”
But before he could finish his sentence, moe's hand slipped and he started falling. "OH-NO" he cried as he began to fall towards the houses of parliament! BANG! the windows smashed as Moe fell straight onto The prime ministers lap. "Hello There!" exclaimed David Cameron. Once again Moe exclaimed "OH-NO" because he thought that Harriet Jones was still in power! "Whats is wrong?" asked David cameron. "Are you shocked I'm here?" Too which Moe replied "HO-JO"
"Oh you wan't Harriet Jones? Sorry shes gone!"
"OH-NO"
Now someone keep it going :P
A slightly rude joke. Don't read if you don't like rude jokes!
Before Gallifrey was destroyed, The Master was finally captured and sent back to face punishment. The President of the Time Lords looked at his sheet and says 'Trying to destroy the universe, collaboration with other races, trying to destroy Gallifey for personal reasons, this is quite a crime sheet.'
The Master smiles proudly as the President rolls up his sheet. 'This is what is going to happen. Over there are three TARDIS's. Inside each one is a punishment. Once you have seen all three, tell me which one you choose.'
The Master nods reluctantly in agreement and goes inside the first TARDIS and sees The Meddling Monk being stretched on a rack by a beautiful Time Lady. 'How long have you been in here being stretched like this?' '300 years,' said The Meddling Monk.
Not liking this, he leaves and enters the second TARDIS and finds the Valeyard lying on his belly on a bed being whipped constantly by a stunning Time lady. 'So they caught you as well, eh? How long you been in here being whipped like this? ' '600 years' said the Valeyard.
'600 years?' The Master grimaces and leaves the second TARDIS. He takes a deep breath and enters the third TARDIS. Inside he finds Borusa is getting a blow job from a absolutely gorgeous Time Lady. The Master smiles, he's been to Earth several times and seen this. Humans and Time Lords are not that different after all. 'Borusa you old devil, how long you been in here getting a blow job?'
'900 years, and if I become President Eternal, it will be forever!'
'900 years of getting a blow job?' exclaims The Master. 'I think I might have that, sod trying to take over the universe, this is for me!'
He steps outside the third TARDIS and walks back over to Lord President of Gallifrey. 'Have you chosen?' asks the President.
'Definitely. TARDIS three please!'
'Are you sure? Once you enter, you cannot change your mind.'
'I'm absolutely certain,' said The Master.
The Lord President walks over to the third TARDIS and opens the door and shouts out. 'Rodan, your replacement's here!'
Before Gallifrey was destroyed, The Master was finally captured and sent back to face punishment. The President of the Time Lords looked at his sheet and says 'Trying to destroy the universe, collaboration with other races, trying to destroy Gallifey for personal reasons, this is quite a crime sheet.'
The Master smiles proudly as the President rolls up his sheet. 'This is what is going to happen. Over there are three TARDIS's. Inside each one is a punishment. Once you have seen all three, tell me which one you choose.'
The Master nods reluctantly in agreement and goes inside the first TARDIS and sees The Meddling Monk being stretched on a rack by a beautiful Time Lady. 'How long have you been in here being stretched like this?' '300 years,' said The Meddling Monk.
Not liking this, he leaves and enters the second TARDIS and finds the Valeyard lying on his belly on a bed being whipped constantly by a stunning Time lady. 'So they caught you as well, eh? How long you been in here being whipped like this? ' '600 years' said the Valeyard.
'600 years?' The Master grimaces and leaves the second TARDIS. He takes a deep breath and enters the third TARDIS. Inside he finds Borusa is getting a blow job from a absolutely gorgeous Time Lady. The Master smiles, he's been to Earth several times and seen this. Humans and Time Lords are not that different after all. 'Borusa you old devil, how long you been in here getting a blow job?'
'900 years, and if I become President Eternal, it will be forever!'
'900 years of getting a blow job?' exclaims The Master. 'I think I might have that, sod trying to take over the universe, this is for me!'
He steps outside the third TARDIS and walks back over to Lord President of Gallifrey. 'Have you chosen?' asks the President.
'Definitely. TARDIS three please!'
'Are you sure? Once you enter, you cannot change your mind.'
'I'm absolutely certain,' said The Master.
The Lord President walks over to the third TARDIS and opens the door and shouts out. 'Rodan, your replacement's here!'
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