Originally Posted by imnotjesus:
“A close family member of mine was gay, he didnt tell alot of his family until very close to his death, and even at the point of knowing he was dying his mother and brother refused to accept it. Although they said they loved him they would not go to visit him before he died. There are alot of issues involved with "coming out of the closet", and its not something any outsider can understand. Alot of the time its not the shame a person feels for themself, but rather the risk of losing loved ones and friends. I know we seem to live in a modern world now where being homosexual or bisexual is accepted and embraced, but we really dont. Religion and stereotyping still plays a big part in the lack of real acceptance.
Dont forget it takes alot of bottle to tell people something so personal about yourself, and if you're an introverted private type of person, then it must be so so hard. They may even quite rightly believe its none of anyones business.
Whilst there are still threads like this ongoing, whilst people still make an issue out of peoples sexualities then it will continue to raise eyebrows and wont feel normal.
Its not like people need to know for any particular reason at all, its just for the sake of knowing. Its not as if knowing someone is gay is really that interesting at all. And if someone pretends to be straight in the media, then thats their choice, not every gay person wants to be an advocate for gay rights and a role model for other gay people.”
I absolutely agree with what you're saying but in another vista - when in the entertainment world it is seen as career suicide it can never be seen as OK unless people do come out. The more it's "out" there the easier it is for it to be accepted.
But I agree - it's not up to us it's up the individual but when it's seen as a dirty secret so it will remain and it's not.
Regardless of your background being open and honest, even if it means losing your family (though normally they actually do come around) to a certain degree, is better for the individual surely. Living a lie is no walk in the park but the more it's hidden the more it's seen as a bad thing. My friend killed himself because he lived this lie - absolutely tragic and I begged him to tell the truth - the fear outweighs the reality sometimes but that's not easy to realise when you're living it.
Having said all that - I can't bear it when out and proud gays (ahem you Boy George) revel in "outing" people because they had the ability to do so and it's the individual's prerogative.
My uncle's gay and I've grown up with the knowledge so have never known it not a "normal" thing. I'm lucky maybe for that because it just was never an issue but in the world of celebrity until it's viewed as a viable and workable way of life it will continue to be of interest.
All of this is easy for me to say - I'm not so haven't actually dealt with it myself. I don't believe because you're gay you have to be some bloody poster boy/girl either and spend your life fighting for rights - you can just be and let the ones that want to do just that. But don't guilt people (ahem BG that's to you again).