very good fed, so you arn't a total waster after all

Fed,

very good first column and better than a lot of the resident Record hacks as has been noted.

A pity DS signed Tickle as he doesn't seem to have delivered ...

G

I never asked for such praise.

good column. make sure to keep up the level of hatred for victor, words cannot describe what an arsehole he is.

I'd fuking hope so. I'm not sure the taxi drivers will concur though. "Whit a mad bender that tadger is".

Tickle being written of after only a few days....... Sounds familiar. The second coming will be even more almighty.

Best bb review comment so far.

Now that made me laugh. Maybe you should write the column!

lu

Has your ego been massaged enough yet Federico, or do you need a bit more attention?

http://www.ayeright.com/Fedsexist.shtml

Howdo Fed. I was a fan of what you were doing last year, but your efforts fell on stoney ground. I did this graphic whilst you were inside, and going by your first column still holds true.

Now I'm exagerrating, but in my book that's not such a bad thing. Provoking an active discussion out of those who would prefer to keep their own counsel, is often required, and is absolutely essential on Big Brother.

I reckon the main agent provocateur will be Jason, although on paper it should be Daniel. Daniel will probably become the father of the house. Ahmed held much promise, but I think he will mostly bite his tongue.Amongst the girls, I see only Nadia as a player, although she has a different agenda. The rest are hoping to get by on their looks popularity and winning ways, and are therefore passive participants.

BTW La Pulcinella's lasagnes are superb.

Rudi

I have been in La Pulcinella but I had risotto. Very nice it was too but Federico was not there which meant me and my three friends visit there was unsuccessful

I enjoyed the reference to Davina. Remnants of Winklewoe ?
Whatever, anyhow that bit was superb., I *almost* feel bad for ringing all those North East radio stations last year to get people to vote to kick you out.

Turn on the sycophantic charm and ask for a refund

True to form, thoroughly amusing, though your rhetoric has clearly been watered down to adhere to the "merciful" constraints of the hosting site.

Compared to your unbridled ferocity on this forum, its a vicarage tea party.

Put in a mention of the petition for us poor cable tv viewers

Victor is going to so Alpha Male you for what you have said about him.......... after he has browsed 'My Big Book of Movie Scripts' and '2003 Guide to Cliches" of course

Fed, a cracking good column. You've got a wit that I don't think the producers allowed to be showcased last year round. You're utterly spot-on about Kitten, Michelle, Vanessa, Daniel, Marco and Shell -- couldn't have said it better. You're right about Emma too, except that I don't think she's fake -- she really is that dim. But Jade was hilarious, and Emma's just annoying. And Alex Sibley had loads of charisma, even when he was whinging, which Stuart definitely lacks. My wife calls Stu a "himbo".

You're dead on about Victor too ("straight outta Chumpton"? ROFL!!!) except that his cracks can be quite hilarious. What was that one about Rick Waller doing the Riverdance on a tea table? Classic.

Ahmed I think is more crafty, and smart enough not to lose the plot... after all, he's been in a sight worse situations than this and come through it with almost all his teeth intact.

And I'm just an expat Yank, so I'm not sure what the Jason "orange nugget" reference is supposed to mean, but I'm sure someone here will explain it to me.

LOL I am hinting for a personal invite here

Hmm, Frederico looks round for an "put down", a housemate called Kitten is in the front of many people's minds, and he comes up with "kittty likes to scratch"

I think your problem is an original thinking deficit, not a surplus of narcissism.

As for my "lazy" jibe? Well, let me put it another way. It is very eco-friendly of you to recycle a column produced for another journal, rather than posting an original one for DigitalSpy.

Federico, I can't fail to commend you highly enough on that column. Being a "Sarfener" I've rarely read the Record, but I will be checking out from now on.

You've made my day reading that. Thanks

Oh I'm quite sure Fed will be well up for crediting his DS forum mates for putting together the material he needs for his column, after all think of the time it'll save him

I hope so

You are trying very hard and I commend you, while your arguments are forced and lacking in basic rational, they certainly make me feel just that little bit more self-satisfied. It was probably your idyllic childhood and lack of interference that rendered you artistically inept and quite so mundane. Fight on though! The regime don't like it!

Hey Fed, I read your column earlier today and thought it was excelent, very frank and very funny. Keep up the good work. Perhaps some comments on the behaviour of Big Brothers itself as opposed to just the housemates next week.

Oh and liked your subtle slagging of davina in there too.

oh and fed can you tell Tickle to get a move on with his next article for Digital Spy, almost a week in and all we've had is his hello. I'm sure he's a busy man but the entire web community is awaiting his wise words about this years BB so far.