There once was a young boy named Stu,
About girls he hadn't a clue,
When faced with Michelle,
The slapper from hell,
He didn't know quite what to do.

There once was a girl named Michelle,
To the papers her story she'd sell,
A tale of her bedding,
No intention of wedding,
The tabloid dream: BB kiss and tell.

There once was a shagger from 'Shire,
His patter it was truly dire,
His French-polished cheeks,
Should be covered by breeks,
I wish he would quickly retire.

A lesbian marxist named Kitten,
Rules for her need never be written,
She slagged off the Queen,
And caused such a scene,
By the jaws of cruel fate she's been bitten.

There once was a young man named Vic,
Who had a notorious dick,
His miniature lance,
Did stay in his pants
The tosser, the loser, the prick.

Excellent.

I liked the first one the most. I'll write some later.

there once was a girl called michelle
who put poor stuart through hell
she hadnt an inkling
of what he was thinking
which was probably just as well

Now has BB lost the plot
with this gender bender lot,
There'll be no sexual pairing
cos they'll all be sharing
stuart the virgin and naive clot!

There once was a gay man called Dan
who offered to give Jason a tan,
now the cream was sparse
and only covered his a**se,
and Jason said "ooooh thank you man!"

There once was a boy, er no, girl.....

I give up. What is Nadia?

Ahmed's lost the olive oil
but Jason and Dan have a smile
Do you think they've been baking
or liberty's taking
Feelings are coming to the boil

There once was a guy called “The Slick”
Unfortunately he seems rather thick
He flirts with Michelle
She's easy as hell
But Victor we cannot evict!

(Slick.. evict.. nearly rhymes )

Emma is such a dilemma,
For she is not quite so clever,
Her singing is atrocious,
She'd be fit for 'alidocious',
But Emma will never become saviour!

digiperson

Stuart’s my favourite housemate
I’d love to take him out on a date
He’s got the cutest hair
(Though he looks like a bear)
Will he go? We’ll just have to wait!

Michelle the unpopular house guest
Wouldn't give her, so called, baps a rest
She did say to Stu
"I'll do anything you want me to do"
He replied "Why don't you give it a rest!"

A boy was Nadia, a boy,
But a boy did not bring much joy,
For Nadia was bored,
And she thanks the lord,
That Nadia will not stay as a boy!

That ok? lol

digiperson

Nadia was not satisfied
A dream is one day she's a bride
So she took full advantage
Of medical advances
And now she looks down with pride
Last edited by Elle : 05-06-2004 at 17:21

I'm so pleased that Kitten has gone
She's selfish and lied – that’s just wrong!
She swore at the queen
Acts like she's fourteen
Unless she changes she'll never belong

A girl called Vanessa - or Shell,
For which one is which I can't tell;
No thanks to Big Brother
For causing this bother
Just one would have done just as well.

I wonder who's up next to go
Leaving this non-salubrious show
Is it her with no shame?
Or one not using their brain?
Do we care? I'll have to say NO!

There once was a bizzle called Vizzle
For shizzle was quizzle the nizzle.
If he wizzle the fizzle
They rizzle tha dizzle
And crizzle the grizzle for nizzle!

There once was a laddie called Dan
Who wanted to roger a man
Jason said, "Sorry chicken,
You can't stick your dick in
But I'll let you rub oil on my can."

Hahahaha... brilliant...

There was a housemate called Ahmed
Who spent all his time in a bed
"Step up to the plate"
Said Jason, his mate
But no, he retired early instead

There was a posh young girl called Shell
She was demure, an Artist, a 'belle'
But put her on telly
She'll show you her belly
Her tits and her bum as well

That girl with the wavy blond hair
innocently tries to ensnare
male viewers with peeks
So try not to be weak
She may be one... who... does not deliver

Two fingers were shown to the press
By a girl seldom seen in a dress
She swore at the Sun.... Told the Queen to be gone
She's gone home now... in a state of regress

There was a new housemate called Kitten
With whom the nation was smitten
We hated her so
Wished her to go.
But it's her we are now all Missin'

Our Vic is a randy young buck,
What he needs in this house is good luck,
Is it Nadia or 'Chelle,
Which one we can't tell,
Is he most wanting to form a close and lasting relationship with?