Y'know i think the solution to calm the current situation is obvious, put a celebrity housemate in there for a week as a "treat". It would have the effect of making the show a bit interesting for the public, giving the housemates a new twist and making sure everybody involved (us AND them) forget the whole sorry incident. Once in there all the current housemates would be gushing around the celeb, trying to be their friend and basically stage their own pilot chat show in the house in the hope of looking good at asking questions that they'd get a "TV Gig" on leaving.

Could we find any celebrity desperate enough to go into the house with this bunch of animals though? I think we all know the answer to that is .... yes, certainly.

My hitlist .... err "suggestions":-

* Emma Bunton - It's about time somebody threw her into the jaws of baying lions and now is a good time. Especially with this planned Spice Girls reunion.

* Jade Goodyear - popular with the viewer base and any future displays of her "kebab" may put the others off drinking, sex and nudity ...well, for 7 days at least.

* Cheryl Tweedy of Girls Aloud - Would give balance back to the house, she would have Victor running scared unless he agreed to handover his lollipops.

* Simon Cowell - By the end of the show he'd have them honed and finely tuned as the nations next favorite pop act thus giving them all the media careers so they much crave - S Club 11 !!!

* John "Ticklemeister" Tickle (in cub scout uniform) - He can sort them all into packs, sit them around singing camp fire songs (being careful to keep emma away from the matches) and make them learn the cub scout promise like good little boys and girls. He can act as their shrink offering instant psycho-analysis (which they all seem to need) and give Stuart a run for his money in the intelligent stakes. Could also develop a Michelle, Stuart, John love triangle .... she can tickle her chicken !

My only other suggestion would be to introduce the smallpox virus into the Big Brother house and not let the HM's win the antidote until at least week 5 !!!!

Thought you said celebrities

My suggestion - Mike Tyson.

Thats a really good idea

Got to be that Jade Goodacre whom I've heard so much about. I've also heard that she's at a loose end these days... no problems in dropping the baby and lapping up some TV work...

Well y'know - i was going under the assumption that Posh Spice is still in Portugal with David Beckham so the choice is kinda limited right now.

I hear Michael Barrymore is at a loose end. Need to watch him in the hot tub though - I hear he can't swin very well

I think that's a cracking idea,maybe Tricia or jerry springer could go in there or even at a push Robert Kilroy silk if he has a week free before brussels

Brilliant idea......anyone in contact with Paul O'Grady?

Come to think of it i hear Maxine Carr is looking for a place to stay right now ..... hmmmm i wonder if she's got an agent yet?

Kim Woodburn from "How Clean is your House" could come in handy ...

G

Could put Jamie Oliver in there. Then all their animosity could be directed at a common foe, and they can gang up to rip him limb from limb. It would bring them together as a group. Next time Emma and Vic start up, the other HMs could just point to Oliver's rotting dismembered head on the lawn, and they'd soon have a smile back on their faces.

Someone to make peace in the house, someone to get Marco, Nadia, Ahmad and co talking again, hmmmm.........I sense a job for that lovable ole peacekeeper Richard Littlejohn!!

I'm glad this is going down well. Perhaps John Leslie and Abbi Titmus could bring a new angle to the house. Anyone not behaving gets hog-tied and their buttocks whipped !

how about this then.

As much as I would hate it, lets bring back Cameron who can show by example how nice people behave . ( and the rest)

And add Lisa for a good measure.


I will not even start on the implications but we might hear wedding bells for Emma & Victor LOL

Oooh you're good at this. I'd hasten a bet a professional career at reality TV producing could lie ahead for you.

There was a post on the bb4 forum saying Kerry Mcfadden was going in tonight but just as i clicked on it ,it was pulled!

Kerry McFadden would make the others look normal. I think the producers are holding back. Surely Donna Air is the obvious choice if they are thinking along those lines.

PMSL

Genius!

The Terminator or Freddy Kreuger. Then get a new set of housemates the next night.

LOL Thankyou I think

Nah, I am just a bad girl LOL

Seriously though, should I apply????????????

Two good suggestions, Gonzo. I'd go with putting all of the aforementioned celebs in with the exception of Jon Tickle, and then introduce the smallpox. Tickle could then examine the results on a Brainiac special

How about putting gary Glitter in

*going for most tasteless suggestion of the day award*

Errrm, so what qualities would Gary Glitter bring to the house?

BTW, if you were going for most tastless you could have just had Ian Huntley go in the house and put him in charge of the mud baths. There ... I win!

Put someone like Harvey from Fat Farm in. If Harvey can intimidate normal people, put him in the house to shape them up for a few weeks. There is no better way to cure this sending in a controller, rather than someone who will create more tension.