You mean it's not a spoof? You sure??
" I travel the world getting rave reviews for what I do... magic stuff. Then I come to my own country and TV wants me to dance, or sing. What’s with TV? Why do they always want to make people look less than they are? "
Because deluded dwarfs let them?
" I have now spent three HOURS re-organising my diary and circulating it to all those who are in the know about this show. "
He means the Rotary Club.
" I just find exercise boring. I can’t get into it at all. I did have a look at a couple of teach yourself dancing video things on the internet... but I can’t get into that either. "
My Ola-meter is about to boil over...
" For the last couple of years I have been trying to devise ways of clearing my silted creek out that would not break the bank "
??? If this is the euphemism I suspect it is I'm going to barf