Aha!

I can't wait to see the equivalent of "I'll tell my mum of you"

I think in that case he is going to divorce me


Well, what you present as fact is just an opinion whereas my opinion in fact is fact.

**throws a large ball on Webby's head and runs of to her mummy**

*quickly hides gas mask left lying around to prevent Lach from wearing it and asking customers "are you my mummy"

or "I don't care cos I've got more toys than you"

Well are you? I was thinking about running to the mummies in Pyramids of Mars

Can I play with them please






THOSE kind of toys!!!!!

... and my toys are better, because I've seen adverts of them on TV, magazines, books, heard them on the radio and found a leaflet in the mud.

Yours are substandard because the adverts for them were produced by Timmy McFake and are only on TV.

You know I'm right - fact, and you are wrong and it's only your opinion. If you don't stop offending me I will report you you silly sausage.

Oh heck, does that mean I'm your sister AND your mummy, and if so am I my own mummy?

*hides remote control dalek in original box*

No you can't play with them, they're never to see the light of day!

Damnit, that means I'm not a true fan

No, of course not. Do I have to spell it out for you or do you want me to draw a diagram on the wall

You are my sister and my mummy, which makes you my and my sister's mummy.

They aren't toys, they are collectibles anyway

Rather have my water pistol sonic screwdriver

puts Hammy on ignore button

Who (or whoms) am I this week? (apart from not being a true fan of course )

But that's just your opinion and in my opinion that isn't canon so that makes it fact

No you are a true fan, because your opinion is a fact. Hammy and myself are only the constructs of your overimaginative imagination, which means we a non-canon.

You're all contradicting yourselves.

puts on True Fan crown and looks down upon the masses from High Horse

Fine, you play with your little shooter, I'll go stare at my immaculate shrine to the programme that I have stored in a hermetically sealed room

How can your opinion be fact, if my opinion is fact? My opinion has been published in the Journal of Impossible Things, which nobody reads, which means they are fact and thus canon (because nobody has stated that they aren't canon; if my opinion is published on the back of a beermat it's canon, whereas yours in fact is wrong).

You're the head, so it's your turn for the hangover in the morning

That in fact is a contradiction in term, and as I have used the word fact in this post, I'm in fact right

**pushes outie from his high horse and jumps on it herself**

Stick it on a flip chart, sweet cheeks.

oh a*se

I think you'll find that I am right and I can prove it, the dog-walker of my neighbours sister in law's cousin on her fathers side said so, and she would know because she once saw Tom Baker in the street in London