Brian knew Len's big secret: he was the watchman on the RMS Titanic who abandoned his post. Did you notice the clue in his salute to Brucie last week? He's very old now and sometimes he gets disoriented and thinks he's back on deck. That's how his ballroom career started out, trying to cope with the swaying and his inebriation without falling over the side.
First Len tried to have Brian bumped off with a poison umbrella, and then an exploding cigar. Finally he had a set of concrete dance shoes made for him, which like a fool Brian wore. The vanity! Over the side of Canary Wharf they threw him, to never be seen again.
Len returned to America by plane for ever after.

Perhaps you mean "hirsutist"
A hairist seems to be critical of hair colours.
um, I just make stuff up

I heard Lilia was actually kidnapped by Marian Keyes but Darren continues to dance to pay for the ransom demand.

This is the funniest line of the OP's post. There are numerous posts about this very subject.

And you can tell from that? Wow, I'm impressed, really.

You are bhoy.

Can I collect my £20 now??

The OP was quite reasonable to be fair. When I first read the title I thought it was going to say Len had slept with Ali.

I thought that as well. I always did wonder why Len called Ali ' a one trick pony'!

Does it usually take till week 10 to decide?

Yes you are right. And what did he say next?

"But no. You came aht and put it abaht"

(Or words to that effect.)

Poor Ali. Poor Brian.

OP is right. We all need to think again. There is more to this whole sorry mess than meets the eye.

A tangled web indeed PF but Len has something that Brian with his vitality, full head of hair and good looks just can't compete with... pickled walnuts. Perhaps Len tempted Ali with the offer of a nibble on one. Pickled in what? Rohypnol most likely.

There are nuggets of truth in the report above, but David Cameron's henchman's wiretappers had got wind that the truth was about to come out, so they got the NOTW to hack into and doctor the text above with inaccuracies in order to discredit it.

What really happened......

Brucie, then aged only 50, gave Joan Collins the present of a cruise to New York, as reward for being the only person to laugh at his Victorian gags thus saving his show.

It was the inaugural sailing of the Titanic from Southampton. As escort Joan chose Len as reward for not laughing at her latest film. Between Greenland and Newfoundland, the chill air of that April evening was pierced by the ship's siren.

The Titanic struck an iceberg, or to be accurate an iceberg struck the Titanic. At that moment Len was in the state ballroom squiring Joan round the floor in a slow foxtrot. The judder of iceberg on metal caused the string orchestra to lose a beat and Joan to lose a step. "Heel lead, not toe lead," boomed Len grimacing.

With her quick wit Joan understood the situation in a flash. She decided that in the circumstances quickstep was better than slow foxtrot, and lost no time in diving under Len's hold to exit the ballroom, hotfooting to the lifeboats still wearing her ballgown the coverage of which Ola would have approved.

The American orchestra continued playing stoically, doing the best they could with every list and lurch of the hitherto unsinkable ship. "Abide with Me" came to be played at the tempo of a can-can. Len frowned. That was the night Len's antipathy began, towards American orchestras, American Smooth, American tuxedos and American dancers who wore them.

Len somehow managed to find space in a lifeboat reserved for 3 judges into which a fourth judge climbed. Len survived. To all who know this history, it is no surprise that Len bumped off Brian........

It's shocking that people might post spoof threads to confuse others. It ruins the good name of this place.

I'm now persuaded this thread might be a genuine spoof.

But only because it hasn't obeyed the first law of DS and mutated into discussion of Alesha's grammar/judging within six posts.

Spelling and punctuation far too good to be Bhoy.
I know my stalker's style!

Sorry- grammar police here!

I love Brian. & Matthew.

It's not right - and it's not bloody fair that neither of them are in it!

And the fact that the OP has done a runner!


LOL! I thought exactly the same thing! Bhoy clearly made quite an impression last year!

Brian's looks were a little bit odd but he was an excellent dancer. The 'American Boy' number they did one year with James, Karen, Ola and Flavia was excellent. Also a paso engineered by Karen where Brian and Brendan had a mock fight stands out for me! So I would say that he didn't deserve to leave this early.

As for the reason, I have no idea.

Brian left because he had the choice of being one of the pro-dance troupe or joining Burn the Floor which is something lots of pro dancers yearn to do. Not surprisingly he chose BTF, which has the added attraction (for him) in that, as it finishes in London, it is going back to Brian's home country, and he and Ali are going with it.

Has Bhoy been posting I saw a thread the other day that I was convinced was him but it was the first SCD post from that poster.

Yeah that was a stand out dance for me as well which made the mock fight at the end of the pro dance that Karen choreographed on the launch show a bit insulting. It was like here's Jared he replacing Brian don't you know as the new American boy having battles with Brendan - to be honest it didn't look much of a competition to me.


did Ali and Brian not finish BTF before the start of Strictly so he could have done both?? I thought that Artem and Robin only left early due to visa problems and that they had to get used to a new pro partner.

I really don't know. He's inactive under his Bhoy ID - that's all I know.

Well that certainly explains a lot.

All of the SCD pros were rehearsing long hours before BTF closed. How would Brian have managed rehearsing all day for SCD and then do BTF at night? He would have been completely exhausted. He had to make a choice and BTF would have conflicted with SCD. BTF seemed like a better opportunity.

Robin did not have Visa problems and as I understand both he and Artem left BTF early to be ready for SCD. They finished up BTF the first week in August to be ready for SCD. Brian did the entire run of BTF.