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thread for journalists who may be a bit tired |
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#1 |
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,122
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thread for journalists who may be a bit tired
as our lovely old lazy journos thread got deleted, I'll risk the wrath of the mods and start a new one
Strictly viewers were shocked to discover today that housewives favourite Matt Barker who is a quadruple Olympic gymnastics champion on the beam, floor, vault and uneven bars, is also a 7 times national dance champion. The Bun can exclusively reveal that footage of his victories was mysteriously removed from Youtube, at least that appeared to be the case though in actual fact it turned out to be us typing in the wrong name, nevertheless it’s clearly suspicious. His partner Allyally O vi...vl..va...whatever is also clearly foreign and possibly here illegally (maybe). The Bun spoke to a Mr W hinger who said that he was disgused and would not vote for Matt again even though he never has. |
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#2 |
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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![]() ![]() ![]() Love it, kittles. Thanks for starting this. |
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#3 |
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,469
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Literally several viewers were disgusted to see two men, singing at each other, on Saturday night prime-time "family entertainment" show Strictly Come Dancing.
One shocked viewer, Ima H. Omophobe said, "That's a disgusting thing to show on the television. They actually hugged! And they looked at each other! Several times! My 80-year-old grannie was watching and she was shocked. How dare two men sing a duet in front of impressionable 97-year-olds?" "Also, just look at the name, I mean "Strictly 'Come' Dancing"? Clearly there's a message there - it's just disgusting that this filth is shown at all, especially when kiddies are up. I mean, my fifteen kiddies were in the room - they wanted to see that good clean fun "Merlin" afterwards, showing a totally-non-homoerotic relationship between, um, two young men... err.... " Ima then continued: "Anyway, it's all part of the communist BBCs pinko agenda. I mean, look at the BBC logo - it's all red. You can't tell me this is a coincidence." Oops, too slow - I see someone's already beaten me to it
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#4 |
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 13,043
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The Lazy Journalists thread is still around but most probably hiding on page 156.
But a great idea to resurrect the idea- I love these spoof articles! |
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#5 |
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 803
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I find some of these posts quite fascinating.
Telling funny stories is a good way to get issues off our chest. We can say something that it may be unacceptable to say outright, or that we might have some personal conflict of views about. Take the post above, about Matt Baker. The poster obviously feels quite strongly about Matt Baker. So they've written a post, making fun of The Sun. But the poster has obviously been dwelling on the fact that Matt does have a gymnastic background. I don't exactly know why the poster thinks there is an issue here. But they have brought it to our attention, in the form of a joke. The bit about Aliah is more interesting. The poster has obviously spent some time trying to work out how Aliah's name could be made to look silly, and has also drawn our attention to the fact that she is not English. Again, it's all wrapped up in a joke. A sick joke, IMHO. |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 2 cm from Brussels
Posts: 1,477
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Quote:
I find some of these posts quite fascinating.
Telling funny stories is a good way to get issues off our chest. We can say something that it may be unacceptable to say outright, or that we might have some personal conflict of views about. Take the post above, about Matt Baker. The poster obviously feels quite strongly about Matt Baker. So they've written a post, making fun of The Sun. But the poster has obviously been dwelling on the fact that Matt does have a gymnastic background. I don't exactly know why the poster thinks there is an issue here. But they have brought it to our attention, in the form of a joke. The bit about Aliah is more interesting. The poster has obviously spent some time trying to work out how Aliah's name could be made to look silly, and has also drawn our attention to the fact that she is not English. Again, it's all wrapped up in a joke. A sick joke, IMHO. Oh Martyboy, you need counselling - or maybe some good advice on how to be English. Now the introduction of Aliona's alter ego, the male Aliah, is worthy of investigation. The Daily Spittle is on it now. |
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,122
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Quote:
I find some of these posts quite fascinating.
Telling funny stories is a good way to get issues off our chest. We can say something that it may be unacceptable to say outright, or that we might have some personal conflict of views about. Take the post above, about Matt Baker. The poster obviously feels quite strongly about Matt Baker. So they've written a post, making fun of The Sun. But the poster has obviously been dwelling on the fact that Matt does have a gymnastic background. I don't exactly know why the poster thinks there is an issue here. But they have brought it to our attention, in the form of a joke. The bit about Aliah is more interesting. The poster has obviously spent some time trying to work out how Aliah's name could be made to look silly, and has also drawn our attention to the fact that she is not English. Again, it's all wrapped up in a joke. A sick joke, IMHO. you really don't understand irony do you? or the point of this thread which is basically to send up completely daft tabloid journalism. Matt's gymnastic background has been raised by a number of posters on different threads usually accompanied by the phrase "unfair advantage". I was merely pointing out in a sarcastic way how ridiculous it is ditto the veiled hostility to foreigners in certain papers in this country. anyone who looks at my posting history will see that I have posted on the lasy journos thread for a number of years and took the piss out of numerous contestants and tabloids. Matt has just attracted the most attention therefore it's an easy target. In the coming weeks, I'm sure myself and others will be able to target other contestants finally as davidjames post shows - actually this is quite sane to what appears in some papers! |
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#8 |
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Guest
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,073
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Quote:
Strictly viewers were shocked to discover today that housewives favourite Matt Barker who is a quadruple Olympic gymnastics champion on the beam, floor, vault and uneven bars, is also a 7 times national dance champion.
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 2 cm from Brussels
Posts: 1,477
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Quote:
you really don't understand irony do you? or the point of this thread which is basically to send up completely daft tabloid journalism. Matt's gymnastic background has been raised by a number of posters on different threads usually accompanied by the phrase "unfair advantage". I was merely pointing out in a sarcastic way how ridiculous it is ditto the veiled hostility to foreigners in certain papers in this country. anyone who looks at my posting history will see that I have posted on the lasy journos thread for a number of years and took the piss out of numerous contestants and tabloids. Matt has just attracted the most attention therefore it's an easy target. In the coming weeks, I'm sure myself and others will be able to target other contestants finally as davidjames post shows - actually this is quite sane to what appears in some papers! Admitting to being The Poster makes you a target for the S.N.E.E.D. (Suppliers of News Easily Edited by Dunces) or the ODS (Official Defamatory Squad) who cannot allow Craig to be a judge of sausages. Really sad, that. |
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 13,043
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Quote:
Please be assured this is not tabloid exaggeration -- it is backed up by Number Ten's gofer's mobile phone tappers from the NOTW. The same source confirmed a confidential reaction gushed by one judge after the dance, "Wicked, you was good."
If the judge had been accurately quoted, she would have said "wicked, you was good, BABE" |
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#11 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,755
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Quote:
I find some of these posts quite fascinating.
Telling funny stories is a good way to get issues off our chest. We can say something that it may be unacceptable to say outright, or that we might have some personal conflict of views about. Take the post above, about Matt Baker. The poster obviously feels quite strongly about Matt Baker. So they've written a post, making fun of The Sun. But the poster has obviously been dwelling on the fact that Matt does have a gymnastic background. I don't exactly know why the poster thinks there is an issue here. But they have brought it to our attention, in the form of a joke. The bit about Aliah is more interesting. The poster has obviously spent some time trying to work out how Aliah's name could be made to look silly, and has also drawn our attention to the fact that she is not English. Again, it's all wrapped up in a joke. A sick joke, IMHO. |
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: digging a tunnel
Posts: 6,434
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Quote:
A sick joke, IMHO.
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#13 |
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: digging a tunnel
Posts: 6,434
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Underwear banned from Strictly set -
In a shock move aimed at "spicing" up the saturday snoozefest BBC bosses have instructed the wardrobe department not to provide celebrity dancers with underwear. Viewers were shocked and intrigued at Ann Widdlebum's visibly unfettered bosom performing a completely seperately choreographed routine of it's own. Professional funnyman Tony Beak joked "Just wait til you see the lifts next week - neither of us are wearing knickers" OFCOM have hired over 3000 phone staff in anticipation. |
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 13,043
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Quote:
Underwear banned from Strictly set -
In a shock move aimed at "spicing" up the saturday snoozefest BBC bosses have instructed the wardrobe department not to provide celebrity dancers with underwear. Viewers were shocked and intrigued at Ann Widdlebum's visibly unfettered bosom performing a completely seperately choreographed routine of it's own. Professional funnyman Tony Beak joked "Just wait til you see the lifts next week - neither of us are wearing knickers" OFCOM have hired over 3000 phone staff in anticipation. |
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#15 |
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sofas are deities
Posts: 16,123
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Quote:
* Mimi rushes off to cancel HD and 3D TV subscriptions
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#16 |
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Guest
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,073
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Quote:
Professional funnyman Tony Beak joked "Just wait til you see the lifts next week - neither of us are wearing knickers"
OFCOM have hired over 3000 phone staff in anticipation. |
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