as our lovely old lazy journos thread got deleted, I'll risk the wrath of the mods and start a new one


Strictly viewers were shocked to discover today that housewives favourite Matt Barker who is a quadruple Olympic gymnastics champion on the beam, floor, vault and uneven bars, is also a 7 times national dance champion. The Bun can exclusively reveal that footage of his victories was mysteriously removed from Youtube, at least that appeared to be the case though in actual fact it turned out to be us typing in the wrong name, nevertheless it’s clearly suspicious. His partner Allyally O vi...vl..va...whatever is also clearly foreign and possibly here illegally (maybe). The Bun spoke to a Mr W hinger who said that he was disgused and would not vote for Matt again even though he never has.

Love it, kittles. Thanks for starting this.

Literally several viewers were disgusted to see two men, singing at each other, on Saturday night prime-time "family entertainment" show Strictly Come Dancing.

One shocked viewer, Ima H. Omophobe said, "That's a disgusting thing to show on the television. They actually hugged! And they looked at each other! Several times! My 80-year-old grannie was watching and she was shocked. How dare two men sing a duet in front of impressionable 97-year-olds?"

"Also, just look at the name, I mean "Strictly 'Come' Dancing"? Clearly there's a message there - it's just disgusting that this filth is shown at all, especially when kiddies are up. I mean, my fifteen kiddies were in the room - they wanted to see that good clean fun "Merlin" afterwards, showing a totally-non-homoerotic relationship between, um, two young men... err.... "

Ima then continued:
"Anyway, it's all part of the communist BBCs pinko agenda. I mean, look at the BBC logo - it's all red. You can't tell me this is a coincidence."

Oops, too slow - I see someone's already beaten me to it

The Lazy Journalists thread is still around but most probably hiding on page 156.

But a great idea to resurrect the idea- I love these spoof articles!

I find some of these posts quite fascinating.

Telling funny stories is a good way to get issues off our chest. We can say something that it may be unacceptable to say outright, or that we might have some personal conflict of views about.

Take the post above, about Matt Baker. The poster obviously feels quite strongly about Matt Baker.

So they've written a post, making fun of The Sun.

But the poster has obviously been dwelling on the fact that Matt does have a gymnastic background. I don't exactly know why the poster thinks there is an issue here. But they have brought it to our attention, in the form of a joke.

The bit about Aliah is more interesting. The poster has obviously spent some time trying to work out how Aliah's name could be made to look silly, and has also drawn our attention to the fact that she is not English. Again, it's all wrapped up in a joke.

A sick joke, IMHO.

Oh Martyboy, you need counselling - or maybe some good advice on how to be English.


Now the introduction of Aliona's alter ego, the male Aliah, is worthy of investigation. The Daily Spittle is on it now.

deary deary me you don't have to refer to me as "poster" kittles will do

you really don't understand irony do you? or the point of this thread which is basically to send up completely daft tabloid journalism.

Matt's gymnastic background has been raised by a number of posters on different threads usually accompanied by the phrase "unfair advantage". I was merely pointing out in a sarcastic way how ridiculous it is ditto the veiled hostility to foreigners in certain papers in this country.

anyone who looks at my posting history will see that I have posted on the lasy journos thread for a number of years and took the piss out of numerous contestants and tabloids. Matt has just attracted the most attention therefore it's an easy target. In the coming weeks, I'm sure myself and others will be able to target other contestants

finally as davidjames post shows - actually this is quite sane to what appears in some papers!

Please be assured this is not tabloid exaggeration -- it is backed up by Number Ten's gofer's mobile phone tappers from the NOTW. The same source confirmed a confidential reaction gushed by one judge after the dance, "Wicked, you was good."

Kittles, be careful.
Admitting to being The Poster makes you a target for the S.N.E.E.D. (Suppliers of News Easily Edited by Dunces)
or the ODS (Official Defamatory Squad) who cannot allow Craig to be a judge of sausages. Really sad, that.

This is clearly made up.
If the judge had been accurately quoted, she would have said
"wicked, you was good, BABE"

LOL, dear me, an irony bypass. I suggest you read some of the previous posts on the original thread which are tongue in cheek, very funny and poke fun at everyone involved in Strictly whether they are 'foreign' or not.

Don't worry sweetie, I'm on my period too *passes the chocolate and a brandy*

Underwear banned from Strictly set -

In a shock move aimed at "spicing" up the saturday snoozefest BBC bosses have instructed the wardrobe department not to provide celebrity dancers with underwear. Viewers were shocked and intrigued at Ann Widdlebum's visibly unfettered bosom performing a completely seperately choreographed routine of it's own. Professional funnyman Tony Beak joked "Just wait til you see the lifts next week - neither of us are wearing knickers"
OFCOM have hired over 3000 phone staff in anticipation.

* Mimi rushes off to cancel HD and 3D TV subscriptions

**rushes off to get HD and 3D Tv subscriptions**

The same journalist reported that following Tony's remark Ola was reported to look puzzled, saying, "What is underwear?"