Impact Review
Quote:
“The Big News: Meet the new Impact. Not quite the same as the old Impact, but close enough.
Impact Wrestling debuted with a whole new paint job (new opening, blue lights over the arena, Impact Wrestling logo, no mention of TNA).
The new "wrestling matters" era of Impact Wrestling starting with....a 15-minute interview segment ending with a pull apart brawl. In other words, pretty much the same opening segment on Impact over the past four years. Eric Bischoff brought out Immortal and took credit for the new look, and said Mick Foley's influence over the new product was overrated. Bischoff said that Hulk Hogan was in New York with Foley with negotiations over something. Nice to see that Hogan living up to that promise of being the Vince McMahon of TNA by not even appearing on the supposed relaunch of their own brand. Brian Kendrick, Amazing Red, and Generation Me came out. Kendrick claimed Bischoff was a leech who slithered his way to power, and it's left the X Division wrestlers out in the cold. Wasn't Kendrick paying attention to how WCW handled Rey Mysterio and Eddy Guerrero. Bischoff said he was going to single handily wipe out the X Division tonight with Kazarian facing Abyss for the X Division title, Amazing Red (who Bischoff called Mildly Moderate Red) going against Samoa Joe, and Generation Me would face Matt Hardy and Bischoff, who said he was going to kick some vanilla midget ass. When Kendrick asked what was his match, Bischoff slapped him. That started a brawl where the heels pretty much kick the baby faces asses until Fortune came out, sans A.J. Styles (selling the injury from Sacrifice). Finally, the X Division wrestlers recovered and Red and Kendrick did some spectacular dives on Abyss, and they continued to brawl with the faces once again have the man advantage over the heels. Ric Flair said he was going to confront Bobby Roode tonight.
Tara, Mickey James and Miss Tessmacher defeated Rosita, Sarita and Madison Rayne in 4:20. Hernandez and Anarquia came out for commentary, but Anarquia did all the talking. Madison Rayne ran away from Tara most of the match. Tara gave Rosita a Spider's Web until Sarita made the save. For a moment, Rayne was left in the ring alone with Tara. So Rayne threw Rosita to Tara and ran. Tara pinned Rosita after Brain Damage. *
2. Abyss defeated Kazarian in 5:03 to win the TNA X Division title. Before he went out for his match, Bischoff told Abyss to destroy Kazarian, and asked him what would Sun Tzu do? He was referring to the book "The Art of War," I guess trying to make Abyss into more of an intellectual monster. Mike Tenay played it up like it could be the final X Division championship match we ever see. Kazarian struck with a missile dropkick, which sparked an "X Division" chant. Kazarian snapped off a huracanrana off the second rope and a springboard leg drop for a two count. Kazarian got a victory roll for another near fall, but missed a charge in the corner and Abyss got shock treatment, then attempted the old Vader Bomb but missed. Abyss started selling his right knee, and referee Jackson James told Kazarian to back off. Kazarian ran toward Abyss, but Abyss used his right leg to kick Kazarian, telling that Abyss outsmarted him. Abyss then got the pin with a Black Hole Slam, and mentioned afterwards that the Art of War says that subduing your enemy can best be done without fighting. The last time I hear that line used was Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street." That leads me to wonder if fans who ever attended a live Impact taping would ever revolt like the people who attended Sheen's opening night fiasco of his comedy tour. Well, they get in for free, so I guess the point is moot.
There was a figure with a Sting logo from early 1990s WCW walking around. Then Sting did an interview dressed in Black and Red, leading Tenay and Taz to wonder who the guy with the old school Sting gear was.
Gunner was mad at Eric Young for stealing his TNA TV title and vowed to find him.
3. Samoa Joe defeated Amazing Red in :48. Squash with Joe getting the win with a Muscle Buster. Joe continued to beat up Red afterwards until Crimson ran in and they brawled. Crimson hit an exploder suplex to send Joe out of the ring. DUD
Styles came to the ring in a neck brace and called out Tommy Dreamer. Styles essentially offered Dreamer an olive branch, saying that he knew that the only reason why Dreamer pile drove him through a table at Sacrifice was because Hulk Hogan and Immortal controlled his contract in TNA. Either he does what Immortal says, or he's out of a gig. Styles said if he was in Dreamer's shoes, he would have done the same thing, so his grudge wasn't with Dreamer. In what may have been the first great heel interview of his career, Dreamer asked Styles if that meant that Styles was saying he was better than him. Or that he couldn't beat Styles if he wasn't hurt, or without outside interference. Dreamer said tonight marked a landmark occasion, because on Sunday he hurt Styles because Immortal wanted him to. Tonight, he was going to hurt Styles because he wanted to, and then leveled Styles with a microphone. Dreamer admitted to selling out because the fans wouldn't help him in the end, even after he gave everything to the business. Dreamer continued to put the boots to Styles until Christopher Daniels ran in. At first, Dreamer backed off, then ran toward Daniels. But Daniels punched him away until Bully Ray ran in with a chain, and cracked Styles in the neck from behind. Dreamer wound up pile driving Styles again. Good segment with plenty of heat.
Kurt Angle came out and gave credit for Chyna for doing him a big favor by taking out Karen Jarrett. When Angle brought up the match, crowd started chanting "That was awesome." Angle thanked Chyna and said he was indebted to her. Some boos over her absence. Angle challenged Jeff Jarrett to a match at Slammiversary, with the winner being the number one contender for the TNA heavyweight title. Jarrett came out and said that every time he had faced Angle, he had won. He couldn't understand why Angle would want another match. So Jarrett said he would take the match only if Angle agreed to put up his Olympic gold medals in return. Angle agreed. Then Jarrett's music played, and Karen rose through the stage like Kurt's entrance in a wheelchair. She said that she would be in Jeff's corner at Slammiversary, and that Kurt could never take her out. As she was talking, Velvet Sky came up behind her, grabbed the wheelchair and rolled her down the ramp, where Karen collided with Jeff. There had to be some heavy editing done, because Sky was doing everything she could to keep Karen from flying down the ramp. Then in the next shot, she went plowing into Jeff at full speed, like she was Dale Earnhardt Jr. on an ordinary Sunday.
Jeremy and Max Buck admitted they still had some heat with each other, but would put that aside tonight in order to beat Bischoff and Hardy.
Bischoff was in the back and got a phone call from Hogan. Apparently, the negotiations in New York were going well, because Bischoff just laughed about what happens when you put Hogan in a negotiating room with network executives against Foley. Bischoff then told him he was going back in the ring tonight.
Jeff was on the phone with Bischoff, who arranged a match with Sky against Angelina Love and Winter. Karen was mad that Jeff wouldn't wheel her out of the room.
4. Matt Hardy and Eric Bischoff defeated Generation Me in 6:07. Totally stupid match. The Bucks hit several top rope arm moves on Hardy before Hardy turned the tables with two Side Effects on Jeremy Buck. Max Buck tagged in and gave Hardy a head scissors while Jeremy hit him with a dropkick, followed by a dropkick by Max. Hardy hit a Spine Line. Hardy teased making a hot tag to Bischoff. They're heels! Jeremy intercepted him a frog splash. Jeremy tried a 450, but Matt got the knees up. Matt then clamped on the Icepick on Max until he passed out. Matt then dragged Max up, and allowed Bischoff to throw some horrid looking kicks and allowed Bischoff to pin Max. *3/4
Winter told a sedated Love that tonight was the night that Sky would never bother her again. She then kissed her on the lips.
5. Velvet Sky defeated Angelina Love and Winter in a handicap match in 4:30. With more wrestling time on this show, there mainly a benefit. This match was an exception. It was most handicap matches you've ever seen. Sky briefly hand the advantage after she clotheslined both Love and Winter. Aside from that, it was mostly chokeholds and hair pulling. Winter gave Sky a catatonic into a backbreaker, and tagged in Love. But Sky gave Love a small package for the pin. 1/2*
Sky barely had time to celebrate when ODB, now with new tattoos everywhere and light brown hair, jumped her. ODB screamed that she was back, now as a heel. That didn't keep fans from chanting "ODB" at her.
Tessmacher was doing a modeling session, but was upset that the photographer didn't even have a camera. Turned out the photographer was Eric Young, wearing Gunner's TV title. Young started posing for her like he wanted her to do. Then Gunner walked in demanding his TV title back. Young talked like they had engaged in an all-time classic last week that took both men to the limit, when it was really a Battle Royal where both men were eliminated early. Finally, Gunner decked him and took the belt back. Young talked about how that was a good idea since he was already the TNA Champion, and they needed to keep both belts separate.
Flair said he hadn't been able to sleep since he tapped out to Roode in the Lethal Lockdown match in Cincinnati. Roode said Flair taught him to take advantage of each opportunity, and Lockdown was an example of that. Flair said if the shoe was on the other foot, he would've taken you out of wrestling for the rest of his career. Roode said what happened at Lockdown was business and wanted to move forward, because Flair has had his time. Flair said they've been telling him that for 25 years, and being the man and staying the man are two different things. Flair challenged him to a fight then and there. At first, Roode refused, but Flair slapped him. Roode then put him in the same Fujiwara arm bar that forced Flair to tap out. Ray, Abyss, Gunner and Hardy ran in to jump Roode, with Ray whipping Roode with a chain. The back story told earlier by Tenay was that James Storm suffered a concussion during the show opening brawl. With Styles and Kazarian injured, no one was left to save Roode. Hardy then took a chair and slammed it against Roode's elbow. Another good segment. Of all the attributes that make Flair a legend, perhaps the one that should be most cherished is his ability to still get younger wrestlers over, which he's been doing since making Ricky Steamboat. Even in a different paradigm, he did it here, to a lesser extent.
Sting came out and put over Rob Van Dam, which got what sounded like some piped in chants. He mentioned that less than a minute after he defeated Van Dam, that Mr. Anderson was in his face. Then Sting's music played, and Anderson came out dressed in Sting's 1990 gold and blue gear. He hit Sting with a baseball bat and gave him a Scorpion Death Drop, then screamed in his face. Instead of coming across like a third-rate Steve Austin, Anderson was a total heel here because the crowd was stone cold silent.
SUMMARY: A mixed bag of a show for a reset. There were less backstage skits and less foolishness overall. But new sets, new logos and new names isn't going to make things easier for a company any more than it did for WCW in 1999. In fact, that's what this show reminded me of, when Kevin Nash was booking and WCW was falling apart at the seems. In dire need of new superstars, the company resorted to burying the cruiser weights (before turning Rey Mysterio heel, among others), and failing to make any new stars aside from Goldberg (who eventually turned heel himself that year). Here, they did the exact same thing with the X Division. I know we're supposed to wait for an X Division comeback. But the pattern of TNA's past has been for the heels to build the heat, and the babyfaces never get the comeback because the creative team just forgets about it and moves on to their next hotshot angle. In the end, more wrestling was a nice change, but it was hardly an overwhelming difference from previous weeks.”