Although (thanktifully) the crazy cow has departified the process, I think we're going to miss her mangling of the English language.

So this is a thread for anyone to continue spreading the word & keep Melissas linguistible abilities in the publics perceptivation.

Melissa's generation, rules the nation, with versionaration....

If musciality happens to be the food of love
Soundation to really make you rub and scrub

Pass the pitchie to anyone else
A mi say
Pass the pitchie to anyone else
A mi say
Watch how Melissa she go and price bread roll
Watch how the chicken head do it so wrong and slow


It was nice and friendly meeting room
(How does it feel when you're so dumb)
The buyers were smiling like they just watch cartoon
(How does it feel when you're so dumb)
Then Melissa start to pitch and things just start to gloom
(How does it feel when you're so dumb)
She don't listen and the buyers them start to fume
(How does it feel when you're so dumb)

Pass the pitchie to anyone else
A mi say
Pass the pitchie to anyone else
A mi say
Watch how Melissa she go and price bread roll
Watch how the chicken head do it so wrong and slow

Back in the boardroom things they don't look good
(How does it feel when you use the wrong words)
Melissa ain't a woman that would give any man wood
(How does it feel when you love your own voice)
And the two of them shaft her like a mugging in the hood
(How does it feel when you don't listen)
It's all business but Melissa don't understood
(How does it feel when you firation)

That's why she should -
Pass the pitchie to anyone else
A mi say
Pass the pitchie to anyone else
A mi say
Watch how Melissa she go and price bread roll
Watch how the chicken head do it so wrong and slow.....

Melissa will be missed. Her languagation and expressionates were wonderous. I, for one, will miss her witty repartiveness and razor sharpate tongue together with her bag of nuts.

It's the way she added bits to the end of words. Converse to conversate. Maneuvre to maneurvrement. Comfort to comfortability. It was completely ridiculousment but funnisity at the same time.

Ah do dis for a liviiiiiinn

Good riddancement

Melissa still has a way to go to beat this guy

"Professor" Stanley Unwin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanley...%28comedian%29

with Alan Sugar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=323kQis2zbM

haha...yeah I said the other day her extraordinal fluidishness with linguistical expressionality was gobsmackable....

I have to say that on the BBC2 show afterwardsment, she seemed to have a certain likeablenessability, although in the main show she was not very pleasantablish at all.

She may have bouncebackability.

dara pointed out they were all real words, except for maneouvrement.

and nobody complained when Lewis Carroll invented words.

brillig anyone?

she's no Lewis Carroll or Will Shakespeare or James Joyce...but she does have a good imagination...

I would like to confirmicate that Dara T'Brain explainedified the originations of the apprenticised candidaticule's metamorphobicatory verbifactions. The presentationalist did researchificate those said extemporisations and concludicated that subject to otioseness, they had precedentations in the lexiconigraph.

nuff said.

...thanks for that much needed clarity...

Yes but there's a fine line between genius and f...witabililation.

She was either pronouncing words incorrectly because she doesn't know the right word exactly or it's some daft idea it makes her interesting in a good way. If it's an act then fine with your mates, but not in a pitch Sausages was an act. I really don't think the others were. More a case of trying to produce business speak or what she thought it was like, all based on reading a few magazines. And not understanding them. Two shortishness p-lan-ks.

True - but in every case I think she got the context wrong even if the word existed - so it's hardly a ringing endorsement of her linguistic abilities. It just smacked of someone trying to appear more intelligent/eloquent than they actually were.

She was (is) a typical hairdresser trying to get above herself.
Even more startling was her titanic struggle with the calculator.
One bread roll = £1.82.

this has definitely got to the best thread ever.

just reading through it has made estactically and fascinably excited. i have even conversated this to my friends who are now going to maneouvrement themselves her to enjoy this sheer oustandability and personability of Mellisa. I did threaten them karmical retribution

Thank you for this thread. It is massively skill set.

Hence the obvious insecurity.

I thank you for your feedback.

Hilarosity and Geniusable, all at the same timeness.

Only just caught up with last episode. Melissa is clearly very, very poorly educated. No wonder Karen Brady was angry. I bet she's not happy with the Beeb trying to pass the likes of Melissa off as a bright female business prospect.

Exactly.

Her abuse of the English language resulted from her desperation to impress but not being equipped with a knowledge of the English vocabulary or the rules relating nouns, verbs and adjective to do so. She was, for instance, unaware of the word professionalism, and instead used professionality.

She was employing the behaviour of a school child that had yet to discover much of the English language.

She was also absolutely awful at everything she did, including pitching, and quite how she managed to get through the auditions is shocking.

I agree totally. The producers picked her purely for entertainment value. This is after all primary an entertainment show. Nevertheless it does also try and promote entrepreneurship and using such people as Melissa not only damages that aim but it also damages the reputation of women in business. Joanna's another one. She can string more words together but you wouldn't want her teaching your kid.