Hello, and Welcome to the Election!

This time around, the parties are as follows. Voters please read the manifestos carefully before deciding to vote:

The Hartnell Party
The Troughton Party
The Pertwee Party
The Tom Baker Party
The Davison Party
THE Colin Baker Party
The McCoy Party
The McGann Party
The Eccleston Party
The Tennant Party
The Smith Party

The TARDIS Party
The Silurian Alliance Party
The Stevens Party

A Poll will be added on November the 18th. After this, you can vote. Poll Closes at Midnight on November 22nd.

First of all, I will post the Manifestos of our absentees tonight.

Please refrain from posting while I do this. I will let you know when it is safe to post

Here we go. Good Luck everyone

The Jon Pertwee Party Greetings to humanoids and other interesting inhabitants of various chalk quarries repurposed as Dr Who sets.

The Pertwee Party is:

- Principled;

- Polite but to the Point;

- Prestigious (you get roses, not plastic buttons);

- Polyglot (yes, we speak to people north of the Thames);

- Prepared - with a nice chilled Chablis, salmon sandwiches, roqualmole dips and oodles of oysters.

We do not believe in Party Manifestos (providing Pap to the People) In fact, making vague promises of how to spend other people's money is Pointless. We invite millionaires to host parties for us on their lawns - as long as the strawberries are ripe, the white wine properly cooled and the waiters discreet, one can have rather a good time before queuing up for the bus home.

Around Election Time, we shall seek to pinch voters from other parties - our Bluff and Bribery Committee needs a few volunteers - meetings are generally on the Isle of Wight, but we do provide Tardis Transport to get you there and back again.

Well, that's all to start with.
No, Major, not that door - that's the props cupboard.
Oh, oh dear.......dear me...
Would somebody kindly scrape up what's left of the Major and post it home to his wife? Thank you so much, very very kind of you.

Now it's time to pop off to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe for a quick strategy chit chat. Anybody need a lift?

Environment is key - grass should remain green; brown grass is due to an excess of sunshine/outpourings from tea urns.

2. Education - this should include adults; Lifelong learning is key, especially when landing on other planets and immediately being able to log onto ancient local computerised systems (to discover how you spell the name of the latest enemy).

3. Health - self-evident - eat only Real Food, always cool but do not freeze white wine; sip, do not quaff your alcohol - watch out for pangalactic gargleblasters (and beware of Celadonian blue bacteria that lurk in tea urns).

4. Space travel - beware of hitchhikers wrapped in towels, they generally spout nonsense, are no use in emergencies and cannot manage to swallow pangalactic gargleblasters even in the interests of intergalactic diplomacy; really, they are a nuisance, and should be planted in bowls of petunias.

5. Human beings, others - approach with caution; some of them have their heads stuffed full of nonsense, others can only function on freebies and government handouts. The smaller ones (children) can be very useful.

6. Aliens, various - I think you should leave them to me; I tend to be able to communicate with everybody without the help of that ridiculously overgrown version of the sonic screwdriver.

The McGann Party

The McGann Party would like to point out that their manifesto is terribly brief, and mostly outlined in extraneous materials, with only brief mentions of said manifesto in the mainstream channels.

That said, I feel a stronger link to our American cousins is what we need to really bring us into the (what century are we in? Well, that one then)th Century.

And better healthcare. We need medical professionals who really listen to the patients, otherwise accidents might occur.

Any questions?

No?

Good.

The Smith Party

On behalf of the Smith Party, let it be known that we welcome the entry of the Hartnell Party and will shortly be returning its library card. The Tennant Party was formerly represented by Solamenn, but duty generally calls her elsewhere these days.

Now, where was I? Yes, education, good. We believe to facilitate education we should start with appearances. We should all look like professors. Bowties are cool. Tweed jackets are cool. Fezzes are cool. We should all look like Turkish professors.

Speaking of bowties, in the event of an indecisive outcome we are willing to reach out to the Troughton party to form a coalition government based upon our shared affinity for bowties and Scottish people in short skirts

To facilitate the spread of culture we shall pluck various talented artistic persons from their places in history and transport them to modern Britain. They will survey the current state of the arts and set about improving them. After they've done with being sick.

Our defence plan is a simple one. We will attract all our enemies at once and ask them who wants to go first.

The economy is a more complicated problem. However, we propose to start by finding a crack in the universe and throwing the bankers in. After they are lost from memory, some solution or other may suddenly become obvious.

To the NHS we would make no major changes except a massive infusion of tea. Lots of people do seem to be diabetic though.

And as for cutting the budget of the BBC, you can listen to our answer here.

Thank you.

The Silurian Alliance Party

Election video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baVDFDsR0G0

We would like to apologise for the Rebel's Hijacking of our party manifesto, and we can assure you all that our party's aim is to improve relations between Homo Reptilia and Humans, and that there are only very few opposed to us.
It would also be appreciated of someone could remove our previous manifesto, which is now 100% irrelevant

As mentioned earlier, our main aim is to improve relations between our races, and to ultimately create an alliance.
None of this can happen without your help.

THE ALLIANCE
An alliance would greatly benefit the Human race. We can offer you knowledge, and advanced Technology, as well as the option of living in underground cities. We can also help combat Climate Change, and offer new energy sources. You would be mad to turn down an offer like this!
How can two races share the planet, you ask? Well, there aren't very many of us, and we are reptiles, so places like the Sahara Desert are great places for us to live.

If we were to get into power, we would improve:

EDUCATION
Our main priority with regards to education would be to teach children (of both our races) tolerance of others, so as to avoid any racism (or speciesism) between our species.
We would also improve the standard of how Science and Geology is taught in schools to make more intelligent people of the future!

THE ECONOMY
We can offer new minerals, and fuels to support the Human economy, and trading will support ours. Our goal is to merge both our economies into one Super-economy.

THE ENVIRONMENT
We can help stop the Greenhouse effect and Global Warming by using advanced technology and cleaner fuel, and contrary to what the rebels mentioned earlier, Climate Change does not benefit us at all.

HEALTH
With regards to health, we can offer new treatments for diseases such as: Cancer, HIV/AIDS, Rabies, Malaria, Cystic Fibrosis, Influenza, Cholera, Dysentery, Alien Hand Syndrome, Cyclic Vomiting, Addiction, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Brain-Eating Amoebas, and Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy.

WARFARE
We, contrary to popular belief, are (mostly) a peaceful race, and would not want to bother with war much at all. If anything, we will attempt to stop wars and achieve World Peace!

SPACE TRAVEL
One of our objectives is to be able to practically travel to different planets, and perhaps colonise them, spreading our mighty civilisations beyond the stars!

The Homo Reptilia Party has got the backing of the Smith, Davison, and Pertwee parties, and, unlike the now crushed rebels, we strive to Coexist with the Humans who share our Planet.
We hope you forgive us on what was said earlier, and we hope it hasn't affected your judgement of us. We are a kind people, and an alliance would be to your advantage.
so:
For all those that want to see a Human/Silurian Alliance in the near future, VOTE FOR US!

Feel free to ask us any questions Regarding an Alliance.

PS Please note that the HOSTILE REBEL Homo Reptilian Party is no Longer running in this election, so please do not vote for them. VOTE FOR US. Thank You.

The Stevens Party
Ooh-Aah Cantona!
A Vote for Us is a Vote for Justice!


The Stevens Party
We will give you free Lottery Tickets
Chairman; Stevens


The Economy
Head of Economy; Harriet Jones.
All Bankers who caused the Credit Crunch will be Executed
Free Weekly Bingo Passes and Lottery Tickets to all Milkmen.
Credit Cards eliminated

Law
Head of Law; BOSS
All Lawbreakers will be Executed, in large Maggot Pits.
All Court Cases have no Jury, and will be judged by BOSS.
If you want to sue someone, you also need to sue them for at least 1/3 of their milk.

Education
Head of Education; Ian Chesterton
Teachers are needed to check if Pupils live in Junkyards.
Teachers are allowed to become hypnotised by Daleks.
We will dramatically lower the education budget, forcing people to become Milkmen or Soldiers.

Health
Head of Health; Stevens
All People with dodgy knees will be thrown in the Maggot Pits.
Free Milk to all who survive the Pits.
Free Milk to old people.

The Enviroment
Head of Enviroment; Sutekh the Destroyer
Global Chemicals will be a International Power Supplier

Politics
Head of Politics; Stevens
Beyond the Harkness Party and Higher than the Police
We will change the electoral rules, including only 1 of each person must enter. (Doctor!)

Other Junk
Head of the Other Junk; The Other
All Shoes must leave trails of "Dust and Darkness"
Free Milk to Old People, People called Neville and Historians.
Vote for us and you get Unlimited Rice Pudding

Armed Forces
Head of the Armed Forces; Sutekh
Wars will be fought by Osiran Soldiers, and Exploding Maggots will be our main Projectiles.
We will pull out of all current wars, and give our soldiers time to train and develop.
We have a big budget to spend on our soldiers.
We will start war with all who show signs of threat, and that will ensure your safety.
Prisoners of War will be executed or held for ransom in Prison Pits

Changes from May
Bigger Education Budget
Stronger Armed Forces
A Less Genocidal Leader
Only English People to Manage the English National Team
The Sontarans work for us now.
Vote for me, or I will get Rick Astley on you.
Even if you don't vote for me, I will get Rick Astley on the Glazers and the guy who got rid of Hicks/Gillett

As the leader of the Troughton Party, I would like to work with and for all Whoonies in providing a better vortex for tomorrow.

Our Party cares for the little man, and why shouldnt we? Our leader knows just how you feel!

Under a Troughton government, height discrimintation will be a thing of the past.

Election Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3nk7KlZAL0

If elected we aim to do the following:

Education

All children will be educated in "computer speech" (as demonstrated by Education Secretary Zoe Heriot.) This way, no one will need to suffer at the bullying hands of a computer.

The pointlessness of logic will be a big emphasis in all schools, and each child will benefit from free recorders, as well as lessons that will benefit everyone, and boost thinking powers throughout the vortex.

The Military

Our leader has a lot of experience when it comes to the art of espionage - the Armed Forces will greatly benefit from our plans to intorduce a new level of training that will help to defend the earth, as well as defeat the major threats that we face.

A free Quark will be distributed to every home that requires it for its defence, providing an excellent burgaler deterrent as well as being a help around the house. A good pet if ever there was one!

We believe in promoting peace over violence, however, and our leader has done much to prmote peace in and outsde of reality. His goodwill mission the the land of fiction is proof of this.

Health

It is our aim to introduce a National Running Day, where participants will run to their destinations looking flustered, with their hands in the air, for the benefit of charity. This will do much to improve the nation's health, as well as raising cash for good causes.

Our leader has suffered the inadequate conditions of a Sontaran Operating theatre, so we have made it our pledge to do away with dark, filthy hospitals, and clean up the NHS, restoring matrons to their matronliness, and creating new jobs for them and cleaners in the process.

And, if you need further convincing, our leader is a Doctor, so he should know

Clothing

We share much of our views on clothing with the well dressed Smith Party, and, if elected, we will give bow ties a VAT free status.

Also sharing this status will be: handkercheifs, checked torusers, shirts, boots and large hats.

And, In General...

We aim to promote a vortex where people play card games in the street, where the threats of evil forces are a thing of the past.

We offer every voter a cup of tea, and/ or whisky should you desire it.

We also offer :a giant bubble bath at the entrance to every major weather station

great jumping gobstoppers for Dgembadgemba & co, plus a free picture of Zoe Heriot for the Whoonie Inn's Drool Wall.

We are currently keeping an eye on the Silurian Alliance Party, which means that we can share in their less threatening policies. Every home will receive the offer of a herbivorous pet dinosaur.

We intend to replace any unruly dinosaur with a pet Quark instead

We also intend to set up a worldwide messenging service called CMail. Standing for Cubed - Mail, users will be able to send messages in little cubes, using only the power of the mind!

We also provide youth mirrors - mirrors that will show the viewer as he/ she was 1 regeneration ago

If you are looking for certainty (and fun!), Vote Troughton!

I now open the floor to other party leaders.

The campaign has been going on for weeks one way or another, so we'll be brief.

The McCoy Party's pledge card:[LIST=1][*] We'll restore order to schools through the introduction of Daleks. We'll restore order to Daleks through the introduction of Special Weapons Daleks.[*] We'll stand up to bad national governance through wafer-thin caricature.[*] We won't fight like animals so that we don't die like animals.[*] We'll do quite a bit of running and blowing things up, but we'll do some thinking too, and the odd verbal joust.[*] We'll perform a Comprehensive Tardis Review every decade.[*] Being also Merlin, we'll give you 26 episodes a year — unlike at present, 13 of which will not be guaranteed low ambition rubbish feeding off the success of real Doctor Who.[/LIST]Our track record:
[LIST=1][*] We're truthful; when we say we're in London we're actually in London.[*] We don't hide our Scottishness, though we also have strong ties to England, to Wales and to the US. [*] We've worked equally well with companions that scream and fall over and with those that think for themselves and establish a back story across a multi-year arc.[*] We were the first party seriously to expand into media beyond television.[*] We've proven ourselves able to goof around haphazardly or to be sinister and manipulative as required.[*] We've handled rural situations, urban situations, brightly lit corridors, council estates and stately homes, working alongside UNIT, the army, light entertainment celebrities, families, the young, the old and the eternal.[*] Not only is life a game, but we're the only ones that know the rules.[*] We were the only party to stand up to Davros' ridiculous unlimited rice pudding policy.[/LIST]Our party election broadcast: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OSsDoqN5ac
Some of our campaign posters: http://www.panoramio.com/user/5203996

We will answer any questions posed once it appears that initial platform announcements have ended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baVDFDsR0G0


From the Silurian Alliance Party

Sorry, I forgot that I have added it to your manifesto, Paradox

Ladies, Gentlemen, many-tentacled multi-gendered lifeforms and inter-dimensional beings. I, the leader of THE Colin Baker party, present to you my manifesto from the previous election:


And the amendments we have made more recently:


I propose to lead a government which will never shirk its responsibilities, which will leap forward headlong into any crisis and punch it in the knackers before it has a chance to cause us any trouble.

<stirring patriotic music swells in the background>

A government that will rule in a blaze of colour and fury! That will batter aside every tumultuous trouble that comes our way and laugh in the face of danger! In these difficult times we need a strong powerful leader, not a lily-livered beige-coated celery-eating weakling afraid of his own shadow! (mentioning no names! )

THE Colin Baker party is the only party that can deliver such a leader - a man, a myth, a legend in his own lunchtime, a towering figure of stature and status (and girth!) who will crash down on every problem like a ton of bricks! (almost literally!)


Just take one last lingering look at our election poster and then make the sensible choice and

VOTE COLIN BAKER!

Tennant Party Manifesto

Health

The health of our electorate is paramount. We know that the NHS is currently not up to much. However our leader has ways to turn this around. Full versed in the effects of blood control we will ensure that the blood banks are fully stocked by calling each blood group one at a time to give blood.
All hospitals will have a little shop, as it is important to understand the no matter how sick you are, a little shop will make you feel better.
Chips will be the mainstay of the British menu. We have proof that chips cooked in a certain way, make you healthy, wealthy and incredibly wise.

The Monarchy

We still have our doubts about the integrity of the monarchy. We have reason to believe that the royal household may become werewolves at the full moon. We have this well under control and the giant telescope thingy is in Buckingham Palace Gardens for reason.

Defence

We have instant access to the void. Anything or anyone threatening the safety of the UK will immediately be sucked into oblivion.
We understand that Britain is best defended from high buildings and tall towers. All military will be trained at Alexander Palace. If you can scale the heights of the radio tower then you can swing from helicopter ladders and hang from the Empire State Building. We also understand how heroic and talented you can look when swinging from a great height and it gives the ladies something to swoon over.
Our leader has taken on the Devil himself and won. Therefore you cannot and will not be in safer hands. Should your loved one be taken from you in the most horrific manner, no matter what their condition, no matter how lost you feel. Our leader can save your loved ones in a concrete slab forever.

Sports and Games

Our leader understands the importance of competing on the world stage. We have been to the 2012 Olympics. We know our shortcomings already and a plan is already in place to ensure that Great Britain will be indomitable.
We also understand that sport should be fun. And a great part of this will be in the form of dance. Our leader has a number of dance routines that will be quirky but fun. From radiation shoe shuffle through to the Ghostbuster hop you won’t be able to resist joining in.
Running down tunnels and climbing ladders will become a new sport and included in the 2012 Olympics.

Education

History will become and integral part of our education. Our leader knows better than anyone else the importance of history and that is must never be trifled with. Not unless the trifle has those little ball-bearings on the top.
Shakespeare will be back on the curriculum and the era will be explored in great detail.
The environment will be strongly featured and each and every school child will be challenged to reduce pollution, and free up our motorways. This is an important subject as we believe that globally we on a fast track to one giant Gridlock and if we get stuck on that motorway we may never get off again.
We will also learn the history of America. The thirties in America is an area that we must cover in more detail. We will also teach everyone that you must keep your mouth shut when hiding from daleks and that running after pig-slaves can be extremely dangerous.

Music

We will encourage everyone who wants to play music to play it loudly. The more mature voter will be each be given an organ encouraged to learn to play it. The Tennant party is very aware that monsters hide in churches and cathedrals and the best way to defeat them is by playing music really really loudly. Over 50? You’ll get an organ.

Law

Anyone who breaks the law will be placed in a room with innocent looking statues. This will be the statue chamber. Prisoners will then find themselves back in 1913 and will be re-educated by Mr John Smith, an ancestor of our leader who has unquestionable experience in re-habilitation. Please be aware that any prisoners that cannot be re-educated, will likely find themselves punished in the most devastating ways.

Employment

Jobs will be found in all walks of life. We do however, intend to send people into space to teach others about the Earth and its history. We are well aware that companies arrange trips to visit the quaint little planet called Earth. However, their overall knowledge of our planet is very limited. You will then find when visiting the jobcentre that amongst the roles of barman, mechanic, builder and waitress, will be positons of galactic tour guide, historians and culture envoys.
Our secretary for work and pensions Miss Donna Noble, will be bringing in a training programme to bring secretarial skills up to the minute and up to scratch. Secretaries will be encouraged to type at over 100 words per minute.
We will increase the production of water pistols as no household should be without one. Capable of putting out the flames of hell itself, water pistols will become as common place in a home as a burglar alarm but at a fraction of the cost. Production factories will be set up, all around the country introducing thousands of new jobs.
The Ood race are coming to earth. Now many believe that this will put the great British worker back on the dole. But no, contrary to popular belief the Ood actually create more work. Working with Doctor Martha Jones we will be doing all in our power to avert the dreaded Red Eye. Scientists, doctors and nurses will be in great demand in the coming years.

The Tennant Party is very much in favour of many of the policies of the Davison Party. We have always been fond of this previous incarnation. However we are not sure of the Davison Party’s take on us. It is always hard to come to terms with a newer, better, improved version of yourself.
We would also point out the dangers of voting for parties that you don’t really know.

There are parties out there that can and will unleash all sorts of terror on the human race. Don’t let it be your vote that put’s this party into power. Vote for someone you believe in. Vote for someone you can trust.
I am the Lord of Time, the TimeLord Victorious. I am the best. I believe in you, in every single one of you, all I ask is that you believe in me too, because together...anything is possible!
Vote for the Tennant party.

The ECCLESTON Coalition

Okay, it's that night again and wouldn't ya know it? Half the coalition is AWOL owing to prior commitments of a competetive nature so it's left to me to get all gobby: who'd have thought that would win votes? Let's start from the basics, right? How about this one:

Do you wanna come with me? Cause if you do then I should warn you you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past, aliens from the future: the day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be the trip of a lifetime!

See? Simple: truth and honesty with no blatherin or mitherin.

Now: flash forward...no wait, how many of you Voters were stuck to your keyboards trying to work out what BAD WOLF meant and what it would mean for The Doctor, eh? Short memories some folk but I'm a Time Lord...it seems like tomorrow...yesterday...whatever the point is:

Simple: a story arc that dissolved the imaginations of fans all over the UK (and don't you sceptics try and tell me you weren't interested because I was watching yer postings.)

Now we can Flash Forward: Rose Tyler, dust, then in the middle of the Dalek fleet and who rescued her in spite of that weird mother of hers? Me...well and Jack but hey, he's someone else's problem now so I've heard...hear...will hear tomorrow...

Simple: natural born heroics, I even made the Slitheen look good.

So: we're down to basics...we've had week on week and post on post of clowns bickering with dandies, some hopers bickering with no hopers and d'you know the weirdest thing? All they've been doing is bickering with themselves: might as well stand in front of a mirror and say: "You're a clown" honestly, so much effort on so little reward...anyways, now for the policies, such as they are -

Time: lots of it, lots of it for all but no guarantees whether it's before you or ahead of you.

Health: no more immortality or Time Vortex swallowing get-out clauses and CERTAINLY no crass explanations for plot-holes that rhymey with whimey...got that? Good.

Education: teach kids to eat bananas, read, try stuff that may hurt them but will probably please them oh and don't ever make a child feel that it's empty, they never are.

Foreign Policy: if you don't recognise it, grin and say "Hello" in a friendly way, don't just bomb it...difficult chatting to fragments.

The Economy: you're stuffed and you only have yourselves to blame for voting in the Coalition and no time-line crossing is gonna stop what's coming...afterwards though: chocolate currency, it's the best cause if you don't spend it quick, it melts and there ya go.

SO: now get Voting, do the right thing...VOTE FOR THE ONE THAT JETTISONED ADAM COMPLETE WITH A HOLE IN HIS PRETTY USELESS HEAD

As we said back in the last election, here in the Tom Baker Party we believe in Life Liberty and the pursuit of Jelly babies

If elected we shall provide every voter and their dependents with their own extra long wooly scarf and yoyo, along with a weekly supply of jelly babies. We also promise to come out onto the balcony every now and then and wave our scarf and hat (being somewaht lacking in the tentacle department).

Our cabinet will include Home Secretary Sarah Jane Smith,
Defence Minister Leela, suppoerted by Chief of Staff Lethbridge Stewart and Foreign Secretary Romanabanana .... Fred. Dr Harry Sullivan will take the helm as Health Secretary and K9 and Adric(despite what our esteemed colleague in the Davison party would have told you otherwise) will share the office of trhe Chancellor of the Exchequer so you can be sure the budget will be balanced! Furthermore, in order to resolve the serious crises facing us we stand ready to deploy our greatest techniques, teaspoons and open minds!

We stand for galactic peace and harmony and welcome voters of all ages (physical and geologic).

Safer sleeping quarters for tortoises.

Use of Android doubles to perform manual and undesirable tasks as required

Introduction of transmat technology to to improve commuter journey experience. With of course, the backup option of a decent forklift truck

Provision of power supplies by the energising of hydrgogen rather than oil as a fuel - after all to be dependent upon a mineral slime just doesn't make sense.


As you can see, polices that will improve the lot of the whole population, not petty bribes to individuals!

Vote with a smile
Vote Tom Baker

Call that a smile?

Havent you got a mirror to go look into?

*Ahem*

I appear to be having a certain amount of difficulty actually posting anything on DS this evening, since they keep vanishing into the ether. So I shall simply refer you to the manifesto posted in the other thread earlier this afternoon and say: Hartnell-the original, and bust. Best.

you know it makes sense, hmm?

The Hartnell Party

*Ahem* The Hartnell Party has after much, yes indeed, much consideration drawn up the following manifesto which we feel addresses the concerns most concerning the concerned voters. We feel that we are considerably more in touch with the genuine fears and forebodings of the public than the other parties as we have taken the time to engage with them in locations such as the Inferno club, in which we were in fact complimented on our 'fab gear', so we believe that we, more than any other, are the party of the people. Oh yes. To business...

The NHS

First of all, it should be apparent to all that the NHS is in dire straits-a popular beat combo, I understand, but that is hardly relevant-due to increased pressures and underfunding. We therefore propose to lessen these pressures by reducing the population by a system of euthanizing injured cavemen with large rocks, thus saving on the cost of treating them. We shall undertake to provide free anti radiation gloves to all, and will be employing disenfrancised gunfighters to perform NHS dentistry at competitive gates. Rates. We shall be combating the wave of stress related illnesses which are, we are told, affecting society as a whole by telling people to jolly well buck up and pull themselves together!

Defence

We intend to boost Britain's defences by increasing the size of the Army, by drafting all effete pacifists in against their will for the greater good. If they refuse, we shall hold their girlfriends hostage and threaten to turn them over to the Daleks. Harsh, but fair, we feel. We also intend to implement a programme of creating huge, fearsome War Machines which can crush anything, particularly cardboard boxes. We shall decieve the enemy into believing we have more of these than we actually do by the simple expedient of never having more than one in the same place at the same time, and changing their number plates.

Health & Leisure

We intend to combat childhood obesity by removing school meals and replacing them with bacon and egg flavoured protein bars, and our Minister for Sport, Mr Chesterfield, will be implementing new games on the curriculum, based on the Roman and Aztec models, with a heavy emphasis on rowing (in galleys with games masters with big whips) and swordfighting (to improve hand eye coordination), as well as running (in corridors, mainly).

Education

We feel that the credentials of our Minister of Education, Miss Wright, speak for themselves. History will be heavily featured, with a particular emphasis on the French Revolution (so that we can avoid a repeat of it). Mr Chatterton, who will be doubling as Junior Education Secretary, intends to revolutionize the teaching of science, with special attention being paid to dissolving things in acid.

Crime

We have called upon a special consultant from a parallel dimension, Chief Superintendant Tom Campbell, to tackle the country's growing crime problem, and he has unveiled his master plan for doing this-by sending policemen back in time to before criminals escape in order to prevent it from happening. Miss Wright admittedly has concerns about this since it will inevitably rather muck up the course of history, but we feel that the end results will be worth it. And juvenile delinquents will get a jolly good smacked bottom.

Jobs

We intend to reduce unemployment by sending a large proportion of the workforce into space in an Ark bound for a distant planet and employing them to build a huge statue of *ahem* our leader, with the assistance of the Monoids, whom we are sure can be trusted implicitly. This will also, of course, reduce overcrowding, which is putting an increasing strain on the country's resources. Which leads neatly to...

Urban Regeneration and Housing

To further lessen the impact of overpopulation without any further loss of greenfield sites, we intend to shrink people to a height of a few inches so that several hundred can live in a single house-though they will, of course, recieve extensive training in how to deal with the attentions of predatory cats.

The BBC

The Corporation will be assisted in providing a greater diversity of reality based programming, by the provision of Time/Space Visualizers which will enable the viewer to instantly tune into any event in the whole of universal history. The cost of the television licence will be kept down, though, by the simple means of building these devices out of plywood and cardboard.

The War on Terror

Our new head of the Security Services, Miss Kingdom, will be adopting a zero tolerance strategy to incursions onto our soil. And let's face it-would you mess with her? Hmm?


We feel that we have covered all the relevant points, but will be open to questions from the house. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the members bar, getting pickled in time like a gherkin in a jar.

The Davison Party

NHS
Since the last election, our Party has been seeking peaceful ways of the mind to help overcome anxiety and depression. We shall create new Zero Rooms with minimal interference and we will also offer trips to the peaceful Eye Of Orion where patients can meditate and cleanse their minds of all troubles. Our Treasury Spokesman, Adric, has used these treatments and as a result has become far less irritating. We will also implement the ZAP energy programme to cure all major diseases and encourage tea drinking so voters get full benefits from this great drink. Tea will be free to everyone.
We also reaffirm our pledge to make Half-Framed Spectacles affordable to all with a VAT Reduction.

Defence
Our leader is well versed in the arts of negotiation as well versed in the arts of war. Our leaders has fought frogs, snakes, Amphibians, even the odd Tractator or two and has beaten them all with his understated intelligence and unthreatening manner. As a result, all dangerous large snakes and amphibinas will be banned from this country. With our leader in charge, this country will be a better place! Our Defence Chief Turlough will also advice on various sabotage techniques and help us identify terrorist suspects out there trying to kill our Leader. Men with stupid pigeon’s on their foreheads will be banned.

Environment
We will introduce in accordance with the ZAP energy Programme Argon Discharge Globes with Mu-field activators to reduce the impact of the environment and make lighting less expensive, thus saving electric.


Health and Sport
Cricket is still high on our agenda, we like hitting sixes into the pavilion and we like watching a bit of Wisdom and Piltch. We also will increase running lessons(especially down corridors). Our leader has done more running than any other Doctor and his programme involves being in ship-shape condition at all times. As per our last campaign, we will focus on the benefits of half-framed spectacles and also offering the cleavage regeneration package again. We also will step up swimming programmes to match our Leader’s great Swimming ability.
We’ll also be introducing further Sat-Nav technology to stop people getting lost in caves and in corridors of Country Houses. We encourage running rather than walking but for those on who enjoy walking, this is ideal. Our Leader has knowledge of this and doesn’t want Voters to get lost like he has done on numerous occasions.
We also propose a VAT Reduction of Well Prepared meals!

Education
We will be teaching pupils subjects that our Leader has personally experienced, including the Great Fire of London, England(and Cricket) in the 1920’s, and the signing of the Magna Carter. Our good friend Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart will work alongside our Chancellor Adric and teach mathematics with Gold Stars for Outstanding Brilliance in this Field. All Pupils will be taught stealing cars is bad and can only lead you into trouble with Black Guardians. We also are allowing pupils under strict guidance from our Leader how to experience the art of swordsmanship. Reading will be encouraged with particular emphasis on the Black Orchid by Charles Cranleigh, a fascinating read. Bullying will be cut out completely though we realise every child gets teased from time to time.

Culture
Our deputy Miss Jovanka will be undertaking this role and she will also be commenting on the newest fashion designs with the help of her assistant Nyssa, (who specialises in short skirts). Nyssa will also being doing research into robotics, though the Kamelion programme will be abolished if we come to power as it’s rubbish. We also want to show Britain at it's best in a changing world and show that Britain is Definitely Civilisation!!!!

Our Leader
A final word of our leader. He is sweet, not effete. His charm is sensitive, not f e ckless and though he likes dashing about a lot, he is wise and kind, and he likes drinking tea! He also likes smelling flowers and watching the sunset whilst contemplating new Policies! He likes doing this as small important things are what life is all about and considers everyone relevant to his Policies. He’s quite reasonable and sometimes it seems he has a wise old head on young shoulders. He’s charming. He’s sensitive and above all, doesn’t shout like the CBP Leader. He doesn’t wear silly multi-coloured coats either , he set the trend for that whipper-snapper Tennant party and basically you’d be a fool to vote for anyone else as he’s so nice!!!! If you don’t, it just wouldn’t be cricket would it?!!!!

HOWZAT?!!!

Brave Heart Voters, don’t fall for the nonsense of other Parties….

VOTE THE DAVISON PARTY!!!!

Here is our earlier video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aT_2D...eature=related

And here is a new video of our Leader in action. No gimmicks, no fancy wordplay, just straightforward action!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isf7G...eature=related


P.s, The Davison Party has not endorsed in any way the Silurian Party, we only agreed to keep an eye on their activities, nothing more.

Ah, there you are Davison. What kept you?!

We are now waiting for DizX and the Tardis Party

Probably got lost...they're voting in last May's Election again as we speak: never was reliable until I redecorated and sorted it

We've been saving the Universe and being quite wonderful, sorry to keep you all waiting!!!!

Ah, there you are, I mean there I am! Thank goodness for that.
You can't have a proper election without a decorative vegetable, hmm?

Well as I'm sure you'll agree, the best policies are saved until last!!!!!

Ah, so the Tardis Party's policies are the best then? Glad to see you being so agreeable