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The Ten Wagner Commandments |
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#1 |
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 27,629
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The Ten Wagner Commandments
"And Wagner spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God...
1. 'Thou shall not support any act other than Me (even Diva Fever); 2. 'Thou shall play the bongos...daily 3. 'Thou shall not take the name of the WAGNER, your God in vain. Louis, it is Varrrggneerr, 4. 'Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it free so you can vote and tune in to see me out last another rubbish wannabe 5. 'Honor your father (Simon) and your mother (Louis)' 6. 'Thou shall not murder (unless it's Waissel) 7. 'Thou shall take good care of thy pet Lion 8. 'Thou shall condition thy glorious locks daily 9. 'Thou shall pray for the souls of all haters 10.'Thou shall SPREAD THE LOAF! Amen. |
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#2 |
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 322
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haha!!
love it
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#3 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
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Amen.
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#4 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,527
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Our Wagner who art in X Factor
Mispronounced be thy name Thy win will come, thy win be done On earth as it is in your imagination Give us this day our daily Loaf And forgive us our translations As we forgive you who translate against us Lead us not into damnation But deliver us from Weasel Amen |
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#5 |
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Stratford-Upon-Avon
Posts: 37,541
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11- Jokes should not get tired by Week 7.
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#6 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,658
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Respect
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,111
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GLORY BE TO HIM!
<falls on knees and cries> |
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#8 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
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Quote:
11- Jokes should not get tired by Week 7.
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#9 |
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,283
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Wagner's a plant ...watch the papers..
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,111
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Quote:
Wagner's a plant ...watch the papers..
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#11 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
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Quote:
Wagner's a plant ...watch the papers..
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#12 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,160
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Wagner is a Giant Sequoia among men.
(And a Giant Ironwood among women.) |
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,788
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1) Loaf thy neighbour.
2) Accept that if thou singest out of tune or out of time, thou art only human. 3) Forget not the teachings of the lions who raised you and stand proud beneath the bright lights. 4) Listen not to the hurtful words of Geordie anorexics, for they know not what they do. 5) Covet not thy fellow contestants' song selections, for Louis knows best. 6) Ignore not the bosoms of thy back-up dancers, for they use merely what Mother Nature blessed them with. 7) Care not what Simon Cowell says about any subject. 8) Fear not the bottom 2, for thy loyal worshippers wilt carry thee onwards. 9) Lose not thy ticket for the Bandwagner, for spaces are limited and seating is in high demand. 10) Cut not thy hair, for it is the strongest link to thine lion family. |
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#14 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,160
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Quote:
1) Loaf thy neighbour.
2) Accept that if thou singest out of tune or out of time, thou art only human. 3) Forget not the teachings of the lions who raised you and stand proud beneath the bright lights. 4) Listen not to the hurtful words of Geordie anorexics, for they know not what they do. 5) Covet not thy fellow contestants' song selections, for Louis knows best. 6) Ignore not the bosoms of thy back-up dancers, for they use merely what Mother Nature blessed them with. 7) Care not what Simon Cowell says about any subject. 8) Fear not the bottom 2, for thy loyal worshippers wilt carry thee onwards. 9) Lose not thy ticket for the Bandwagner, for spaces are limited and seating is in high demand. 10) Cut not thy hair, for it is the strongest link to thine lion family. ![]() ![]()
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#15 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,524
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Bless.
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#16 |
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,134
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Love it!!
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#17 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 627
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Quote:
Our Wagner who art in X Factor
Mispronounced be thy name Thy win will come, thy win be done On earth as it is in your imagination Give us this day our daily Loaf And forgive us our translations As we forgive you who translate against us Lead us not into damnation But deliver us from Weasel Amen
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#18 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
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I sung this to myself shortly before the result tonight to comfort me and help me keep the faith. It turned out to be quite prophetic with the mention of Aiden alongside Katie:
All things right and Wagnerful, All judges great and small, All things wise and wonderful: Lord Wagner made them all. Each little Tesco that opens, Each little Cher that sings, He made their cherished Clubcard, He made her tiny brain. Refrain The Simon in his castle, The Dermot at his gate, He made them, high or lowly, And ordered Mary's cake. Refrain The public can't ditch Katie, And Aiden's gurning by, But dancers and his bongos, Will brighten up our day. Refrain The cold wind in the studio, Despite his weekend fun, The ripe fruits of the dancers, He rubbed them every one. Refrain He gave us eyes to see him, And lips that we might tell How great is our Lord Wagner, His record Cowell will sell. |
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#19 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,160
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Quote:
I sung this to myself shortly before the result tonight to comfort me and help me keep the faith. It turned out to be quite prophetic with the mention of Aiden alongside Katie:
All things right and Wagnerful, All judges great and small, All things wise and wonderful: Lord Wagner made them all. Each little Tesco that opens, Each little Cher that sings, He made their cherished Clubcard, He made her tiny brain. Refrain The Simon in his castle, The Dermot at his gate, He made them, high or lowly, And ordered Mary's cake. Refrain The public can't ditch Katie, And Aiden's gurning by, But dancers and his bongos, Will brighten up our day. Refrain The cold wind in the studio, Despite his weekend fun, The ripe fruits of the dancers, He rubbed them every one. Refrain He gave us eyes to see him, And lips that we might tell How great is our Lord Wagner, His record Cowell will sell. Brilliant. |
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love it