DS Forums

 
 

The Ten Wagner Commandments


Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 14-11-2010, 23:33
kyri
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 27,629

"And Wagner spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God...

1. 'Thou shall not support any act other than Me (even Diva Fever);
2. 'Thou shall play the bongos...daily
3. 'Thou shall not take the name of the WAGNER, your God in vain. Louis, it is Varrrggneerr,
4. 'Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it free so you can vote and tune in to see me out last another rubbish wannabe
5. 'Honor your father (Simon) and your mother (Louis)'
6. 'Thou shall not murder (unless it's Waissel)
7. 'Thou shall take good care of thy pet Lion
8. 'Thou shall condition thy glorious locks daily
9. 'Thou shall pray for the souls of all haters
10.'Thou shall SPREAD THE LOAF!

Amen.
kyri is offline   Reply With Quote
Please sign in or register to remove this advertisement.
Old 14-11-2010, 23:49
Amy_Louiise
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 322
haha!! love it
Amy_Louiise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:51
Bananafish
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
Amen.
Bananafish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:51
CharlotteVale
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,527
Our Wagner who art in X Factor
Mispronounced be thy name
Thy win will come, thy win be done
On earth as it is in your imagination
Give us this day our daily Loaf
And forgive us our translations
As we forgive you who translate against us
Lead us not into damnation
But deliver us from Weasel

Amen
CharlotteVale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:52
21stCenturyBoy
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Stratford-Upon-Avon
Posts: 37,541
11- Jokes should not get tired by Week 7.
21stCenturyBoy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:52
Truth_Hurts
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,658
Respect
Truth_Hurts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:53
Helbore
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,111
GLORY BE TO HIM!

<falls on knees and cries>
Helbore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:53
Bananafish
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
11- Jokes should not get tired by Week 7.
This isn't Spinal Tap, the Commandments don't go up to 11.
Bananafish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:57
mazzamac2
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,283
Wagner's a plant ...watch the papers..
mazzamac2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:58
Helbore
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,111
Wagner's a plant ...watch the papers..
He's not a plant, his chlorophyl content is far too low.
Helbore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-11-2010, 23:59
Bananafish
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
Wagner's a plant ...watch the papers..
I would have said he's more of a mighty oak myself.
Bananafish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:09
tommygunner
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,160
Wagner is a Giant Sequoia among men.

(And a Giant Ironwood among women.)
tommygunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:11
Politiks
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,788
1) Loaf thy neighbour.
2) Accept that if thou singest out of tune or out of time, thou art only human.
3) Forget not the teachings of the lions who raised you and stand proud beneath the bright lights.
4) Listen not to the hurtful words of Geordie anorexics, for they know not what they do.
5) Covet not thy fellow contestants' song selections, for Louis knows best.
6) Ignore not the bosoms of thy back-up dancers, for they use merely what Mother Nature blessed them with.
7) Care not what Simon Cowell says about any subject.
8) Fear not the bottom 2, for thy loyal worshippers wilt carry thee onwards.
9) Lose not thy ticket for the Bandwagner, for spaces are limited and seating is in high demand.
10) Cut not thy hair, for it is the strongest link to thine lion family.
Politiks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:12
tommygunner
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,160
1) Loaf thy neighbour.
2) Accept that if thou singest out of tune or out of time, thou art only human.
3) Forget not the teachings of the lions who raised you and stand proud beneath the bright lights.
4) Listen not to the hurtful words of Geordie anorexics, for they know not what they do.
5) Covet not thy fellow contestants' song selections, for Louis knows best.
6) Ignore not the bosoms of thy back-up dancers, for they use merely what Mother Nature blessed them with.
7) Care not what Simon Cowell says about any subject.
8) Fear not the bottom 2, for thy loyal worshippers wilt carry thee onwards.
9) Lose not thy ticket for the Bandwagner, for spaces are limited and seating is in high demand.
10) Cut not thy hair, for it is the strongest link to thine lion family.
tommygunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:12
Anightlikethis
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,524
Bless.
Anightlikethis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:13
Nate27
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,134
Love it!!
Nate27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:13
The_Wag
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 627
Our Wagner who art in X Factor
Mispronounced be thy name
Thy win will come, thy win be done
On earth as it is in your imagination
Give us this day our daily Loaf
And forgive us our translations
As we forgive you who translate against us
Lead us not into damnation
But deliver us from Weasel

Amen
Brilliant
The_Wag is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:33
Bananafish
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,454
I sung this to myself shortly before the result tonight to comfort me and help me keep the faith. It turned out to be quite prophetic with the mention of Aiden alongside Katie:

All things right and Wagnerful,
All judges great and small,
All things wise and wonderful:
Lord Wagner made them all.

Each little Tesco that opens,
Each little Cher that sings,
He made their cherished Clubcard,
He made her tiny brain.

Refrain

The Simon in his castle,
The Dermot at his gate,
He made them, high or lowly,
And ordered Mary's cake.

Refrain

The public can't ditch Katie,
And Aiden's gurning by,
But dancers and his bongos,
Will brighten up our day.

Refrain

The cold wind in the studio,
Despite his weekend fun,
The ripe fruits of the dancers,
He rubbed them every one.

Refrain

He gave us eyes to see him,
And lips that we might tell
How great is our Lord Wagner,
His record Cowell will sell.
Bananafish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-11-2010, 01:37
tommygunner
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,160
I sung this to myself shortly before the result tonight to comfort me and help me keep the faith. It turned out to be quite prophetic with the mention of Aiden alongside Katie:

All things right and Wagnerful,
All judges great and small,
All things wise and wonderful:
Lord Wagner made them all.

Each little Tesco that opens,
Each little Cher that sings,
He made their cherished Clubcard,
He made her tiny brain.

Refrain

The Simon in his castle,
The Dermot at his gate,
He made them, high or lowly,
And ordered Mary's cake.

Refrain

The public can't ditch Katie,
And Aiden's gurning by,
But dancers and his bongos,
Will brighten up our day.

Refrain

The cold wind in the studio,
Despite his weekend fun,
The ripe fruits of the dancers,
He rubbed them every one.

Refrain

He gave us eyes to see him,
And lips that we might tell
How great is our Lord Wagner,
His record Cowell will sell.
And me thinking it was Paije's cake!

Brilliant.
tommygunner is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply




 
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 18:26.