Bruno is putting on a massive cheerful front, but it's obvious to me that he is Mr Fuming Furious inside.

Each and every muscle in his body is clearly under intense pressure when he talks to everyone but Scott.

But he is a cunning devil and he knows that his ranting will create the opposite result. But I can tell, he's cracking up, and we may yet see him vent all over the floor.

Will he last?

Discuss. And quickly please, I have a deadline to meet.

... what kind of publication are you writing for?

Dunno, what've you got?

3 complaints already. Fantastic.

... you're kidding!

I am at least as serious, and I use better grammar, than some other threads here.

How do you know how many complaints you've had?

EDIT; think I've got you now...

... Usually I avoid some threads when I clock who the OP is.

I now totally understand and you, sir, are a genius...

Has Bruno lost it?


Did he ever have it?

I'm with you on this one DavidJames. It's remarkable he hasn't blown already. The inner sealing must be very strong.
But when he goes, Merapi will be child's play in comparison.

"Complaints are now into double figures. We're totally swamped" - said a source at the BBC.

Well...

The whole of my hometown's Strictly fanclub has filed a complaint. That brings the number up with...2.
But I'm rallying up more support.

It's an avalanche, I tell you.

Outraged that Bruno has something or other but if you have a picture or identikit of it I'm happy to join the search so you can make your deadline.

You can count that as a complaint for statistical purposes.

My 20 year old cat is outraged and turns her back on the TV whenever Bruno is talking.

Does that help?

I (currently) have a mouse infestation. (Not a euphemism).

... they, too, are outraged. I am catching them with traps that don't kill them* and releasing them in a field a couple of miles away wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a picture of Bruno gyrating on the desk as an added repellent. They are so outraged they run away very fast - usually without a backward glance.

The tally is now 5. Do rodents count?

*They work btw - parmesan cheese and peanut butter, with a small lump of cucumber (so they don't dehydrate whilst inside) is the way forward.

Question: Do I have to contribute to the topic in order to count as a complaint?

Is Bruno supposed to have had it at one stage then Because to me he's always been crazy lol.

Well, obviously I shall submit each post to rigorous and thorough inspection, otherwise my reputation as a responsible journalist would be at stake.

A complaint flooded into my postbox too - it had been forwarded from Tenereefay, so they're obviously not really keeping up with events but it's still worth including, isn't it?

I would like to register a complaint that more people are not complaining.

It's just plain wrong.

So I expect you registered my (non-)existing outrage with my previous post, and you add this one as well.

I'm so pleased we are in such capable and reputable hands.

Oh well, if you insist, go on, add it in.

I'll relax my standards. Just this once, mind.

does it count if I complain about people complaining?

Now you're just being silly.