There was a young rapper named Cher,
Like a zipper with ‘tude and big hair,
Looks like a cat feral,
Sings way worse than Cheryl,
‘bout as current as Yogi the Bear.


There was a young crooner named Weasel,
Something ‘bout her gives Scowell his diesel,
She falls to her knees,
Sobs ‘please save me, please’,
T’would be easier get rid of a measle.


There once was a man-God named Wagner,
The X-Factory’s victory banker,
We all bow in awe,
As Cole tightens her jaw,
And sneers, ‘I’ll deck you if win it, you w***er’.

Brilliant!

There was a young man named Matt
Who liked to wear a little hat
When he hits the high note
They all like to vote
Even though he's a nasty love rat

There was a young pikey named Cher
With swagger and sneers and big hair
With a ring a ding ding
She nicks the lines that she sings
While sitting on a big white stair

Magic!

There once was a plank called Matt
Who wore a stupid hat
He sings like a witch
Is an arrogant bitch
And makes himself look like a prat.

There was a young rapper called Cher
Who went on the show for a dare
But she did fool
Those who said she was cool
Like the new clothes the emperor would wear

There was young band named One Direction
Who thought they were best in their section
When push comes to shove
Their aint that much love
And Louis just gained an erection

There was a young geordie named cheryl
Whose right hook put people in peril
with one flick of her hair,
and one deathly stare
she made wagner remain there

There was once a singer called Mary
Who liked like an elephant fairy
With her big Tesco bag
She looked like a slag
Or an escapee from the local dairy

I'm afraid as per "Ode To Wagner" this thread will be locked shortly, so enjoy it while you can.

THere was a girl called katie
who wasnt very matie
but her grannie is so
because she is a pro
katie had a hair cut
but still looks like a mut
back to katie's grannie
who has an active f***y

There was an old Spy called Digi,
Who locked up all the threads in a hissy,
But Lord Wagner forgave, was virile and brave
And said I throw you my loaf with a kissy

There's a woman who is Katie's grannie
Who dresses like a colour-blind trannie
Her lips are so big
She could smother a pig
Now what could she do with her...nose?

"Ode To Wagner" has been resurrected!

Your lyrics are safe, go forth and eulogise.

There once was a singer called Matt.
Who behaved like a bit of a prat.
He gave Wagner grief.
Jeez, what's his beef?
He needs to get lost like his hat.

I did this in another thread before noticing this one

Keep 'em coming........

Genius! :d

I love this thread. Pure brilliance

ITS katies gran.

Hahah this thread's hilarious.

There was a young woman called Cher,
Who wanted to win fair and square,
But Cowell had ideas
That she was no Britney Spears,
So she ended up just being Bare...

(In Nuts magazine probably)..

There was a young lady called tryec
and those who thought her name was creyz
she was boring and bland
but she couldn't have planned
that she would have been slammed
for katie

there once was a singer call matt,
who looked a bit fat, in his daft hat,
and sings very flat,
he said Wagner's a joke,
and Katie's granny said simon can have her a p**e,
and what do you think about all that?

There was once an ar*ehole named Matt
Whos head got to big for his hat
He thought he was best till he performed in a vest
And now people can see hes a Tw*t.

there was once a wee lass called Gamu
who had more ambition than just to row a canoe
she blew them away but she just couldn't stay
and is now on her way to zimbabwe

(or not)