There was an old mogul called Si
With his finger in many a pie
He'd get hold of muppets
And treat them like puppets -
So for God's sake - don't even apply

There was a falsetto named Matt,
Vile insults kept escaping his hat,
Was a fantastic singer,
Potentially the winner,
Self-destructed 'cos he is a prat.

Love this one

Wagner's a dream as The King
Knelt down and he gave her a ring
We know he's so canny
Coz out popped her fanny
'take her up the aisle' we all sing

Wagner used to be thinner
And says that he once was a sinner
But then he found God
And we all applaud
So that is why he'll be the winner.

There was a young girl called Cher
Who once belonged to a travelling fair
Too small and weak to do a thing
They said “oh well, you’ve got swag and can sing”
Now we’re stuck with the gob with big hair

There was a young singer named Cheryl,
Her health in immediate peril,
For everything that she said,
Every thought in her head,
Was controlled by a hair-dwelling squirrel.

(shameless bump )