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Matt's Sore Throat |
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#1 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,290
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Matt's Sore Throat
I can see another 'moment' coming here. A big Dermot intro about Matt having been poorly all week will set the tone. Matt, lookig clammy and malnourished and dressed again in his week 5 Forrest Gump outfit, will limp across the stage like Tiny Tim (the Dickens character, not the ukelele player) and croak something like: "I'm fine Dermot. I just didn't want to let these people down." He'll then launch into the slowest ever (slower than Johnny Cash) version of The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, breaking down before the second verse. Hands over face, tears streaming through his fingers, Dermot will rush to throw him a manly hug, saying "it's ok buddy. I'm here for you". Matt will be shuffled off saying: "I've let everybody down. I'm a bad person." Danni will be in bits. Cheryl will say "wow! What just happened?" and Simon will lean back, pause, for 9 seconds then say: "you know what, let me just say this. I'd never quite seen it before but I'm sitting here tonight, looking around this room and I'm suddenly thinking that that might just be our winner right there". Matt's vote share will go up from 41% to 94% overnight and he'll be well and truly in the box seat when the meds kick in midweek and he can start rehearsing his week 9 special, an unprecedented 2.3 minute Bee Gees medally. Come finals night, he'll push his share of the vote up to 99.6 with a bizarre but winning reworking of Pie Jesu. I can just see it all now.
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#2 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 8,069
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Maybe if you spaced it out a bit it may be easier to read.
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 6,530
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and you point is?
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#4 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 103,785
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OP you are hilarious such a funny post; are you perchance a closet Matt fan
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: London
Posts: 24,469
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Quote:
I can see another 'moment' coming here.
A big Dermot intro about Matt having been poorly all week will set the tone. Matt, looking clammy and malnourished and dressed again in his week 5 Forrest Gump outfit, will limp across the stage like Tiny Tim (the Dickens character, not the ukelele player) and croak something like: "I'm fine Dermot. I just didn't want to let these people down." He'll then launch into the slowest ever (slower than Johnny Cash) version of The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, breaking down before the second verse. Hands over face, tears streaming through his fingers, Dermot will rush to throw him a manly hug, saying "it's ok buddy. I'm here for you". Matt will be shuffled off saying: "I've let everybody down. I'm a bad person." Danni will be in bits. Cheryl will say "Wow! What just happened?" and Simon will lean back, pause for 9 seconds then say: "you know what, let me just say this. I'd never quite seen it before but I'm sitting here tonight, looking around this room and I'm suddenly thinking that that might just be our winner right there". Matt's vote share will go up from 41% to 94% overnight and he'll be well and truly in the box seat when the meds kick in midweek and he can start rehearsing his week 9 special, an unprecedented 2.3 minute Bee Gees medley. Come finals night, he'll push his share of the vote up to 99.6 with a bizarre but winning reworking of Pie Jesu. I can just see it all now. If people are going to comment on a post it helps if they can understand it first. |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: London
Posts: 1,862
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I liked the original post. No problems reading it.
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 611
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Quote:
I liked the original post. No problems reading it.
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 294
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HAHA, brilliant!
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: somerset
Posts: 2,646
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Good post and even better when spaced out properly.
Just good etiquette - which more people need to learn and understand - and otherwise a lot of people dont bother to read through. |
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: London
Posts: 2,605
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I like Matt but that made me laugh. Seriously though he's not like that.
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