Len: I don't like SPORTSMEN.

Bruce : Introducing our couples starting with...Nadine Cole and her partner Derek Hough...

Welcome to Blackpool........which is a place where the sea has the same dark brown hue as the ballroom dancefloor.

Ann - Please dont vote for us were terrible.

Bruce - You're my least favourite.

Tess: "Rebooting complete in 10 seconds...9...8...Oh! Sorry, was the autocue offline?"

This tickled me.

Len "I would like to have seen more acrobatics at the end of the dance."

Floor Manager: "On no circumstances are you to stand to applaud ANYONE"!

Len: Well! Braise me bollocks!

Bruno "There was too much spunk for me."

Ann: "Oooh Anton can we do Dirrrrrrty by Christina Aguiliera for our showdance? I feel sooooo naughty..."

Bruce: "Anyone want one of my Sunday Night at the London Palladium dvds?"

Alesha: "You were wonderfully, gloriously musical, dazzling us with the inventiveness of your approach, in which no-one can possibly guess what is coming next and each fresh twist is a new delight. The two of you were believable people in a real world, and yet breathtakingly caught and held in a fascinating dance. Katya and Gavin, I stand up to applaud you."

"And you can take your vest off."

*sicks up some lunch*

Len: Of course, as a tall person, you found the jive very easy

Craig "Your toenails were exquisite in that dance, dahling."

Mmm, then again he just might....

Alesha - "You were excellent and your interpretation was out of this world"

You came out, you gave it a go and you were beyond crap. Go home.

Gavin - "Why the hell are there mirrors in this training room, Katya? And why is there fake tan? I hate looking like Alex Reid in drag!"

To be honest, I hate Blackpool

"No I didn't think I would leave in the first week, I thought I was going to win for crying out loud!"

"Your botofogo excelled your highly excellent dependency of posh totty char char in a champagne-ish Lawrence Llewleyn Bowen fest dahhhhling"

"Thank you for your comments, Alesha...."

"And now its time to introduce our judges - a fading cockney wide boy, a girl whos learning English and 2 pillow biters"

Bruce: It's nice to see you, to see you .. impossible. I'm 83, I can't see shit.