Female Celeb

'I have to say, my dresses have been bloody awful, wardrobe made me look like a hippo wrapped in Quality Street wrapers most weeks'

Ann asks Anton... " Da Ya Think I'm Sexy " in my thermal vest and bridget jones knickers.

Any judge to Kara " ok Kara you are a fantastic dancer and we've decided you're going to win, but must you come across as being so fake"

"Swingathon - cant wait for next years"

Tess/Bruce (whoever says it) The winners of Strictly come dancing 2010

Gavin and Katya

(I love him but I can't see it happening)

Why can't you dance when you dance in every single music video you are in ? Do you have a body double?

Tess/ Bruce - 'Ola Jordan'

( pronounced correctly as in Collar not Cola)

10-10-10-10 Well Kara, at last a perfect score!

I was about to post the same thing

Pamela, that was utter tosh. Will you please realise that we don't want to be able to see your nether regions every time you take to the floor. Go and watch some footage of Ann - that's how a woman of your age should behave.

Len: Kara, your routine was f***ing c**p!

Kara to Artem "We're back in front son - no need to bring up the neck injury"

Why don't we pair gay male professional dancers with male celebrities?

"and the winners of Strictly Come Dancing 2010 are..........ANN and ANTON!"

Bruce reading from the autocue:

"I'm a miserable old shit who's too doddery to realise that I'm reading out something vindictive that shouldn't be broadcast and it's happening because when the underpaid script writer asked me to autograph something for his granddaughter, I told him to piss off and get me a coffee cause I'm a bloody national treasure .. here's a manipulated VT."

"These showdancers are shite"

Pffffffttt-bmwahahahahahahaa! Post of the day and of every day.

Edit: Because, slightly watered down and shortened, you could not claim that something like that would never happen

Craig on Friday night: "Pamela, that was a bit shit really but I'm going to give it a 10 because Len is giving me his "why aren't you on fire yet? face". Oh, and can you give the bloke from Cameo his codpiece back please?"

Brilliant - and not beyond the realms of possibility.

Bit like that wedding in Thailand(?) on YouTube where the vicar was reading out a heap of abuse instead of their lovingly-crafted vows.

Erm...LINK PLS!

Craig: What a lovely lift.

Happy to oblige (I hope).

Basic story is here.

I think the full transcript is out there somewhere too.