*warning - I am ranting*

My sister was too scared to even tell me in person as she knew I'd be be so angry with her!!!

Back story is my sister got a kitten in November 2009, we all advised her against it as she has a small flat and my nephew was only just 1 at the time. But no - she didn't listen to us and went ahead anyway.

Fast forward a year, sister is now getitng 'rid of cat' as she cannot cope with it.

I am really angry with her I have to say.

I know her circumstances have changed (sister is now heavily pregnant with second child, due to move etc..) but I just feel so sad that she can be so blase about it. Although in fairness I know my sister and her partner are deeply upset that it has come to this and my nephew will be so sad too...

I know the obvious answer is that I should take on her cat but my Amber simply doesn't mix well with other cats so it wouldn't be fair as I would never, ever want to distress my girl (does that make me a hypocrite??)

Sister is doing it properly, has contacted the CPL and explained her circumstances etc... Cat will probably be better off with someone who can give her the time and attention she needs but I am still pi55ed off

Anyway's rant over.

My brother has done the same with cats and dogs over the years. Some people just view animals as objects/toys. You can choose your friends and all that RG. At least she's doing it properly, the little moggy will be rehomed to somebody decent if they are willing to go through home checks etc. There's no point in distressing your own cat by taking in another as then you'll have 2 disturbed cats rather than one-especially if your sis's is a spayed female used to living alone also. Take deep breaths and count to ten, say your piece once then bite your tongue. But if she ever talks about getting another one you can remind her of this.

Sometimes rehoming is the best idea, in fact better to rehome than keep an animal you don't want. She made a mistake she may never make another, so deserves a second chance IMO.

Your sister didnt listen to you..tried it out and it didnt work..plus another baby on the way has to take priority.

I think it a bit unfair to be too harsh on her right now..she is going about it all the right way finding the right home..if in another year or two she does the same thing then I believe ranting is probably the right response..but if this is her first cat and it hasnt worked then letting the cat go to someone who has got the time and patience is the right move in my eyes..

If the cat being there is getting to her..if i were you I would rather see the cat happy and more importantly my niece/nephews with a mum that doesnt feel under pressure.

I have to say we had a cavalier king charles who is now 7 I have 2 teenagers and a youngster of 3..everythingm was fine and dandy with Harry till I fell pregnant with my youngest..I had chronic sickness and the slightest thing set me off..I really struggled to eat through my pregnancy and if I found a dog hair near me when eating I would start retching and couldnt stop..dog food made me retch till I was sick and cleaning up dog poo on the lawn I retched before I even started..it was so bad that it became such an issue with me like an obsession trying to get rid of dog hair and food so I could make even a piece of toast to eat instaed of gaining weight throuigh pregnancy I was 7lbs lighter at 6 months pregnant than when I fell pregnant..I realise reading this back right now it probably sounds ridiculous..but at the time it was terrible....my husband works away from home for family and stays with them during the week so noone else at home to pick up dog poo,feed him,clean the hair etc..so my husband suggested taking Harry to work with him through the week to his mums..Harry even went into work in the office with him..and the relief for the first few weeks was amazing.


My sister in law began taking Harry home with her some n ights from work..she lives alone..by the time my youngest was born Harry was staying away with my sister in law more than he was coming home..we had a discussion and Harry moved in with her..3 years plus down the line he is a spoiled happy dog..and gets far more attention than he would ever have got with me after having my youngest.

When we visit and I see him..I do feel pangs of missing him but when I get home and dont have all that goes with having a dog around to do I know I made the right decision.

Some will probably blast me for doing this..but people have different circumstances..I wouldnt have another dog now..I loved Harry being here..but my life is very different now from when he arrived here and I felt I just had too much going on to care for him at the time..

I've known people do that and then do it again. You do tend to lose a little respect for them, in that aspect of their lives (with the proviso that it depends on the circumstances, of course. Bad luck or difficult circumstances could befall me tomorrow but that wasn't the case with some the people I've known who've done it, really).

Thanks guys!

I am not about to disown my sister or anything - she knows how I feel already (the idea of rehoming her cat came up a few months ago so she knows my views) so I haven't said much to her. Just that she has to do what she has to do

I appreciate that circumstances change and my sister is actually being practical. She needs to do what is best for her children and also the cat. But Jeez some people are so short sighted.

Also told her if she ever dares even suggest getting a pet goldfish in the future then she'll have chapter and verse from me!

We didn't get a dog (which we really wanted at the the time) because we anticipated what our attitudes might be, in reality (eg holiday problems, early morning walks in Winter, lots of pubs not letting dogs in etc). I think sometimes people won't deny themselves something they want and don't think how things might or are even likely to change for them. A pet is a big commitment.

I know you're annoyed and I see why, but it sounds like it would be for the best and at least she is going about it the right way. An ex friend of mine once phoned the dog warden and said she'd 'found a dog' to get rid of her unwanted pet! Unfortunately I didn't know until much later or I'd have taken him.

I'm actually seriously considering rehoming one of my cats, Arwyn to a lady I work with who's asked about taking him, after losing her old cat last year. It's not a decision I'm taking lightly at all, my pets have always been with me for life until this, but with 2 cats who don't get along and both of them with serious health problems (the one I'd rehome has FIV and the other is diabetic) I have a constant struggle to make time for them both and cater to their needs, while also keeping them apart.

Arwyn was a stray we rescued a couple of years ago, he was very ill when we took him in and the plan was to get him healthy, get his weight up, deal with his matted coat and broken jaw and then rehome, but then we found out about the FIV and rehoming became much more difficult so we kept him and just tried to make things work. Him and Frodo my other cat hated eack other on sight and have fought quite vicously when they have met and I can't risk that with Arwyn having FIV, so they're kept seperate at all times which means I have to split my time between them. I adore him and I'll be really sad to see him leave, but I need to think what's best for him and my other cat and hard though it is to admit, staying with me probably isn't what's best.

Oh hun - I remember when you found Arwyn!!!

You have done an amazing thing with him so whatever the future holds keep sight of that hey?

As you say sometime sacrifices need to be made for the greater good.

I could never foresee a situation when we'd re-home Amber but who knows what the future holds.

Best of luck with it all

I know exactly how you feel, it would have to be something pretty major for me to part with one of my pets, and then I could only imagine letting them go to somebody i knew and trusted very well.

Several years ago I found a dog, and we had to take him to a rehoming centre as my dog took an instant dislike to him, and we were in a tiny house with barely enough room for us and the pets we already had. we only had him for a couple of hours, but it still plays on my mind now, that I gave up on him, even though it had a happy ending and he ended up being trained as a hearing dog for the deaf.. I just cant imagine handing over a pet who had been with me for months, maybe even years

I do have family members who have done this though, and whilst I still love them as family, I also have felt really angry with them, and rightly or wrongly it has made me like them just a little less

I understand why you are so angry because people who treat animals like handbags or other belongings annoy the crap out of me. Try and console yourself with the fact the little creature will be better off with someone else as you say and the CPL WILL make sure it goes to a loving home. Given that it is young and healthy it will probably find a home quickly. Dont beat yourself up about her not listening. We can only give advice or our opinion and cant make people take heed.

How does she cope with a baby if she can't cope with a kitten?

I think it's more a 'quality of life' thing (for the kitty!!)

With a toddler and newbron my sis feels unable to give cat the time and attention it needs.

Your sister is at least doing the right thing and getting the cat properly rehomed rather than abandoning it. Some people unfortunately don't realise the commitment it takes to have animals. I got my two from Battersea - they thought that the girls as they were very tame and timid had been kicked out once they got past the cute and fluffy kitten stage. I look at them every day and it is beyond belief that people can do this, they are so loving and gentle. At least your sister's cat will be given the opportunity to have a forever home and might find a cat mummy who can give her/him lots of attention rather than competing with 2 children and yes I would remind her of this if she ever thinks about getting a pet.

Sounds like my mum. Lost count of the amount of dogs she has had over the years. Trouble is she goes for breed over personality, so if they turn out to not be house trained for instance, they're gone.
Dont understand it myself.
I love my dog, & she is pretty much perfect as dogs go tbh, but even I wont get another when her time comes to go to doggy heaven. Even the easiest of dogs is extra work imo. Any pet is, even fish need their tank cleaning.

Because, although a lot of pet owners won't agree with this and claim their pets are their babies, there is a HUGE difference between your own child and an animal.

This is true. One time mum rehomed a dog I adored was after my baby brother was born. We had 2 dogs at the time, but one particularly didn't like the baby & vied (sp) for attention. But my mum was always more than capable of coping with children, top mum, i'll give her that.

Thanks Rainbowgirl. It's been a tough decision to reach and I'm quite tearful thinking about him going, but I think rehoming him would be for the best.
I know he'd have a brilliant home with my work colleague and I think it would help her a lot too, because she's been so down since her cat died. She'd hand reared her and had her for over 19 years . She's an older lady and has had several cats all of whom she clearly adored, so he'd be in great hands and at least I can keep updated with his progress and visit. I think I just need to be sure she knows exactly what she's taking on with him, he's healthy and doing great at the moment, but who knows about the future. I suppose that's true of all pets though.

Yes. Animals don't cost a fortune then after about thirteen years turn into total nightmares that claim they hate you. Cats are bettter.

Yep, I think that's exactly it. I would absolutely love a dog but with both my boyfriend and I working full time it would be unfair to leave it home alone all day. Not everyone takes things like that into consideration though and they get a puppy only to leave it sitting on its own in the house with no interaction with anything until they get back from work. Few people seem to do background research into the animal's needs before going ahead and getting it.

I've known people to get rid of their pets as soon as their circumstances change (e.g. baby on the way, animal too messy etc.) and to me it seems really silly because surely these things should have been foreseen as potentially happening in the future before they got the animal and they therefore should never have collected it in the first place.

I would be furious too RG. At least she is trying to rehome the cat the right way - but she should never have got it. Unfortunately it's all too common, people just don't think it out before they get a pet.

What is the point in being furious? Does it make you feel any better? I hope you can resist saying 'I told you so'.

You say she is upset, her toddler is upset, and being furious won't help, especially won't help her child.

OK, your sister didn't realise how much cats can demand, but she does now and she is doing the best thing in her changed circumstances.

Fingers crossed she has learnt from this experience.

How can someone be blase and deeply upset at the same time? Sounds to me like a hard decision and she is doing her best to make sure kitty finds a loving home. I could never ever do it, but we are all different.

Sometimes it's the best thing for the cat and we have to be honest with ourselves and put the cat, not our feelings, first.

Perhaps putting a brave face on things ? I know when we had to rehome one of our dogs and all our cats we tried desperately for the one's left and family etc not to look like people breaking their hearts but that was exactly what we were.