Is it wrong to say to the delivery person that you won't accept parcels for a neighbour? Normally, when a delivery person knocks the door with a parcel for a neighbour, I accept it and sign for it, handing it into the neighbour that evening when they return home. Today, though, I said I would rather not accept it, and declined to sign for it. The delivery man looked a little confused and annoyed.

I just decided that I don't want to be responsible for the parcels now. What if they get damaged in my care? What if, after giving it to the neighbour, they decide to say they never received it and I get accused of something I haven't done?

To be honest, I would rather neighbours didn't accept parcels on my behalf, either. I would much rather the delivery driver took the parcel away and attempted to re-deliver at a later date. Normally I'm in the house, so any parcels for me are received no problems, but I'm aware that some people have to work, and others leave the house to do other things.

I know I'm not forced to accept a parcel for a neighbour, and it's not my responsibility if they are not at home, but have I just broken some sort of unwritten good neighbourly law?

I don't think you need to feel too bad about turning down receipt of a neighbours parcel. I think the postie probably glared at you because it meant he had to take it back to the sorting office and whatever else was involved in him doing that.

I have refused parcels before for neighbours and have been met with a similar look of annoyance. I was asked to take in two rather large flat parcels that looked like tables but I was in the middle of decorating my hallway and there would not have been anywhere else to put them so I declined. I also was not speaking to that neighbour anyway after one of her kids badmouthed one of mine, so I thought no way am I doing her a favour right now!

One time years ago a neighbour had put me down as a willing neighbour who would take in her parcels (I think you can do this via Royal Mail website) but had omitted to even ask me!

I am also not keen on neighbours taking in my stuff. Since we have moved it doesn't seem to happen as much. They will pop their card through the letterbox and I usually nip up to collect it myself from the sorting office or re-schedule delivery online if I can to when I know I am going to be in.

I don't speak to the neighbour in question, either, except when handing in a parcel to them. For all I know they have been asked to take in parcels for me in the past and have refused, so maybe I shouldn't feel so bad. It's terribly rude for your neighbour to put your name down without asking.

I do and thankfully my neighbours do too.

Do you think I am wrong to not accept it this time?

I've only ever declined once because the parcel was for the lady across the road who is a bit unhinged, the postie understood that I didn't want to go knock on her door with it or have her come knocking on my door. The last time she hammered on my door she tried to force her way in and was rather aggressive because of a hula hoop of all things!

I take in everyone else's parcels, it's no bother.

Same here. All part of being neighbourly, which is becoming a rare thing!

I don't think you're wrong. It might not be particularly neighbourly but it's your choice.

Is it really such an inconvenience to hold a parcel for a neighbour for a few hours? I don't get it myself.

That sounds reasonable. I once had a huge argument in the street with the neighbour in question about parking. I haven't spoken to him since, but until now I always took in parcels for him. I feel quite bad now, but I don't think I should. I don't think it's unfair to refuse acceptance of a parcel. Like I said, I would rather my own parcels were not left with neighbours at all. Maybe it's a personal choice.

It's the first time I've said no, but it's only because I don't want to be responsible for the parcels any longer.


What if it got damaged? What if they were given the parcel and then accused me of never giving it to them? Is it rude to ask them to sign for it as proof of acceptance? I've never done that before, maybe I could in the future.

Ditto. I see no reason not to.

We all do it for each other, I suppose it depends on your neighbours...we dont have anyone "unhinged" round here....yet.

My neighbour Barry saved my life the other day as the DHL guy decided to deliver my three hundred pound pretend car driving wheel during the fifty minutes I was down the road at the dentists' and he volunteered to accept it on my behalf without prompting.

Unfortunately it took two phone calls to various sorting offices and help lines to discover he's sone this as the note the driver left was totally illegible.

It's an asymmetric relationship as I'm never in long enough to accept stuff on his behalf so I'm very grateful.

Where we used to live, a neighbour came round with a parcel she had taken in for me about 6 months previously. She'd stuck it down the side of the sofa and forgotten all about it.

I do take in parcels for my neighbours, but it happens quite rarely.

I've never considered not accepting parcels. Our neighbours do it for us and we do it for them.
Once we took in six boxes of wine.

I'd rather a neighbour took a parcel in for me than having to go up town to the depot to collect and (in my case) having to pay parking as well. If you're at work all week a re-delivery is not much use.

I think the odd occasion is ok but I can see how being constantly asked to take delivery for a neighbour could soon become bloody annoying.

Presumably you'd hope that one of these neighbours, that you decline to accept parcels on behalf of, would call the fire brigade should your house become an inferno while you are but why should they? It's not their responsibility.

Looking for reasons not to help rather than looking for reasons to help is rather sad I think.

If you're The Queen and its an arse on having to go all that way to the front door from the drawing room while Jeremy Kyle is on, I can imagine it is.

For the average Joe in an average house, I don't think a trip to the front door is that much to ask.

I only refuse if they are ticking.

Like others here I have great neighbours, we all work strange hours/nights sometimes and it's all just a bit of give and take really.

I work from home and sometimes my hallway resembles a sorting office as all my neighbours work away from home during the day but they always collect the same day and it's nice to have a chat with them.

There is only one person I refuse to take parcels in for who has a vicious dog who tries to attack anybody who comes to their door.

I'd accept deliveries for neighbours next door, or next door but one. Other than that, I wouldn't, because I don't know who those neighbours are. Mind you, I think it's only happened once or twice - and neighbours on either side have accepted the occasional parcel for us too.

I'd imagine it could be annoying if you had a neighbour who was always having stuff delivered - and never seemed to be in when it arrived!!

It is quite common, they get parcels a lot, and aren't often home to collect them.


I think that is a slightly different subject, don't you think?. I'm not saying that I wouldn't phone the fire brigade if anyone's house was on fire because it's their house, not mine. I'm not looking for reasons not to help, I just don't want the responsibility anymore. Is that so wrong?

That's the thing, they do get a lot of parcels delivered and aren't always home for them, and so it is always us who are asked to take them in because we are the closest neighbour. However, very few delivery drivers return to their house to even put a card through to let them know that we have the parcel, and even if they do the neighbour never comes over to collect it. I always have to assume they didn't receive a card and go over there to hand it in, to a neighbour that I don't really know or get on with at all.

Each to their own! I can see why people might not want to, if they don't like their neighbours. I don't like it when the deliverer doesn't leave a card for you or for them, so you don't know what the situation is.

I often find, by the time I've got to the door, that the deliverer is already knocking on next door's door. Do they expect people to be standing by the door, waiting? Once the deliverer was walking down next door's path by the time I got to the door and told me that they had the parcel so I told him to get it and bring it to me. He looked taken aback.