ok thanks knux7

My funniest Blanche line from the Tracy/Roy/Hayley storyline was when she'd first found out and Blanche was adamant that "Patience" would live with the Barlows, she said "I'm not having this baby brought up by two fellas, even if one of the does wear a frock"

Blanche cracks me up every time

Oh Corrie is very funny when it comes to comedy. Last night was good but I cant remember....... oh yes

"I wasnt the one who married an axe murrder" Martin to Gail I dont know Martin the way Katy was playing with your card I would be worried.

"Stupid Sarah didnt no her boyfriend was gay, stupid Sarah her Baby died" Sarah, well she said it

Plus all that stuff about Harry and Frank, so funny.

"Your (dead) daughter wasnt the only one to make fasion blunders" Frank to the whole pub. Who is this daughter?

eileen is just a goddess, pure and simple

i agree, but i believe that her more dramatic scenes are alot better than her comical scenes. The fight night episode in which she was a major character, in my opinion was her best performance ever, along with the episode where Todd told her that he was in love with Karl in April.

Yeh I agree HPwannabe, her dramatic scenes are much more hard hitting than her comic scenes, but I think that's mainly due to Eileens comic style being so dry, as is the same for many Corrie characters, i.e. Blanche, Gail during fight night and also Rita at times.

Anyway, Sue Cleaver acts so realistically, there have been some scenes where I could have been watching through someone's window and looking into their real life, she's that good...

"Forced to sew mail bags and deal snout" (Blanche to Her daughter,) Emily dealing Snout? Never

"Dont think I dont no what goes on in prisons, I've seen Bad girls" (Noris to the whole Salon), Have you Noris? Any other admissions?

"What dont you expect a pensiner to carry a ten pound note?" (Blanche to Todd), After all the council tax, no.

'I'm probably not the best person to ask about that!' (Todd to Dev, after Dev talking about Marriage) You can say that again.
Last edited by Knuxs7 : 19-08-2004 at 16:27

from Coronation Street, "...you're Norman Bates with a brief-case..." is one for the history books! a proper classic quote. Or anything Blanche says, she's a hoot and a half!

from EastEnders, the epic over-the-bar argument between Peggy and Pauline over Baby Louise a few years ago is possibly my favourite soap moment of all time.

PEGGY
...you cheap peroxided old bat!

PAULINE
Oh yeah, and what's this, strawberry blonde at seventy? That's real, is it?

PEGGY
Shut up, i'm not seventy!

PAULINE
No. But you look it.

and not many from Emmerdale, although The Stokes usually comes out with a few good lines, though that might be down to Lorainne Chase's way of delivery. It stuck in my mind when she told Gloria Pollard to "...pull the other one. It's got bells on..." ages ago.

Oh yeh that across the bar row between Peggy and Pauline was classic, New Years Eve 2001 I believe it was.

Blanche is classic, I love her.

Although Den and Pauline surprised me last week

Pauline: I don't know what women see in you, they should stay away from ye (or somet like that)
Den: Well I don't see many blokes queuing round the Square for you, not straight ones anyway.

More Blanche you say?


'So is haggling over his savings account love, when romance has withered and died! Still, when you're walking away from him, you'll have three and a half shops under your belt so I could see why you wouldn't sign 'ought,' (Blanche to Suntia about the impending wedding) Bitter and twisted is our Blanche

You couldn't bring up phlegm

Sonia questioning Paulines parenting techniques a few years back. That one always stuck in my head for some reason

here are two good ones

kurk (to todd): are you deffo sure u a benda

sarah (to todd): what you goin to do? hit me with your handbag

will, very true what you say about Pauline & Den. To continue my unintentional "yay Pauline" campaign on this board, I not only think it is interaction with her that has made Den look half decent since his return (the spike exchanges are the only thing about him worth watching), but the lines they share, playing off the strength of retrospect and nostalgia, have been (aside from the Dot plot) the better moments in the Square. Here was my personal acidic favourite, from the "Revenge is Sweet" haircut episode. Den wnters into the Fowler house living room:

DEN
...aah, this brings back memories. Arthur, Pete, Lou, Kath, all sat round-

PAULINE
Michelle.

DEN
-Mark.

PAULINE
And you and Ange.

DEN
Well we all make mistakes. Trick is to learn from them.

PAULINE
Oh, and that's what you've done, is it?

DEN
Yeah, you can start again and you can work it through. You should think about doing it sometime.

PAULINE
Martin is all I need in life.

DEN
Shame he's married Sonia then. [smug smile drops off Pauline's face] ...Oh well, half-eleven, got to go. I've got a date at Twelve.

PAULINE
Oh? Does Chrissie know?

DEN
It's with Chrissie.

PAULINE
You don't know how lucky you are.

...I liked it. sharp, snappy and double-barbed. More of the same.

Yes that was a good scene, its true Den and Pauline do work really well together in scenes for all the reasons of nostalgia an stuff, an the history. Their scenes back in the day were good, when Pauline confronted Den in the Queen Vic over him being Vicki's father an she slapped him, Den was mean "There you got one, now second an I hit back" lol

i always enjoy the variations on 'having a laugh' in EE, ie, 'Are you having a bubbly bath / giraffe / bird bath?'

Not meaning to sound like I am "nit picking" but isn't their a thread like this already going?

Nope, I (looking sheepish) dragged the thread back onto the main page after finding some more funny and side splitting quotes.

Corrie should have some good ones tonight...look out for some of the above from Blanche.

There is another thread like this somewhere, with a different title but it must have got lost under all the other new threads

The Aussie's come up with some good ones too. Colleen in H&A is a fantastic one for funny phrases like "Yoo-hoo, only me" (always at the worst possible time!"

One that does spring to mind was when Colleen was being nosy, and Alf turned round and said:

"Strewth, Colleen, with a nose like yours, standing on the beach you could bring shipping to a halt!"

Colleen's face was a picture!

"Dont drop the soap lads..know what I mean" (Les to the pub). Yuck Les imagine ending up with you.

"Just ingnore the pratt in demin Todd" (Eileen to Todd) Hear hear

"Hey Todd, you having the Hotpot, or do you fancy the fagots?" (Les to Todd) I think we all know which Todd would risk

"I've never wrestled with anyone in my life, you cheecky git, not the way your thinking" (Les to, again Todd) Sure Les when pigs flew

"Would you look at the state of that bowls team Liz like Girls aloud with stretch marks" (Frankie to Liz) No way, the bowls team look way sexier

Karen; "Hey we should be having cavia.....what is it?
Steve; "Its fish eggs init"
Karen; "Dont be daft Steve, they cant lay eggs underwater they dont have underwater nests" Karen, ever the smarty pants.

The best corrie line ever was when Hilda and Stan went on a second honnymoon. Hilda said to Stan " Well give us a kiss".
Stan Kisses Hilda and says " What does that lipstick taste of??"
Hilda replies "Woman Stanley, Woman."

Classic.

How can you forget
I got Tracy Barlow pregnant. She stalked me and then cancelled my wedding behind my back. I've got a baby daughter who no one knows about, who's being looked after by the Croppers. Roy thinks he's the baby's father as does his transexual partner Hayley.

i liked it where tacy said something to shelly and shelly turned rouned and said something like "we sell pints in here and what do you sell babies and flowers
"

Chas in Emmerdale has some good lines. Like when she interrupted Louise by saying 'pipe down, Skippy'. Diane has good lines too but I can't remember any!

A long time ago, I remember Bet Lynch/Gilroy saying to Fred Gee 'when I said I wanted a car in mint condition, I didn't mean full of holes'