Ahmed: Michelle is so fine, I hate you Stuart!
Becki: I really like Ahmed!
Dan: I think Jason is my soul mate.
Emma: I hate singing.
Jason: I hate exercising!
Kitten: Im not a rebel.
Marco: I hate Michelle, Nadia and Emma!
Michelle: I will stop calling everyone chicken.
Nadia: Im gonna stop smoking. Im gonna start a campaign.
Shell: People in this house are not dudes.
Stuart: Team Handsome? More like Team Ugly!
Vanessa: I hate Shell!
Victor: I wish Shell would be my real bride.

Michelle - First thing I'm gonna do when I leave here is get some singing lessons.
Jason - I think masturbation is gross. Can't understand why anyone would want to do it.
Jason - Dan is my all time hero. Everything he says is so cool and clever. I hope he fancies me as much as I fancy him...

Nadia - Im giving up smoking tomorrow...its giving me a bad chest...

Ahmed: will you please give us an early alarm call tomorrow, Big Brother.

Nadia - Dont worry big brother...i can go without the fags for a couple of days...
Shell - Dan...dont be such a pompous p***k all the time...jeez...

jay - i can't wank live on TV; nadia, be a love and lend us a hand?

nadia - yes jay, i long for your cock akmost as much as i enjoyed downing those shots in the diary room

dan - that's fine by me nads, you can have jay, i really don't want to add him to my list of straight man conquests

vanessa - go on guys, it's cool, chuck more food, it's really rather good fun and anyone who doesn't agree is clearly over-reacting, oh and for the record i genuinely did fancy jay, i wasn't just using him in some kind of lame-arsed attempt to gain popularity, honest

emma - i haven't had a good trump in ages.

shell - i ain't had a good cry in ages, innit.

michelle - i have not pissed anyone off in ages, duck. oh and no i will NOT get under that table with you, stuart wilson, i am a LADY, though i am terrible at singing. ahmed it's cool, duck, you do what *you* feel is right, and i'll just respect that and won't resort to hurling items of summer footwear straight at your face. i'm not in the least bit threatened by attractive women like shell and vanessa, nor would i have any problem with stu joining them in the jacuzzi whilst wearing no clothes, i'm really very reasonable don't you know, duck, and incidentally i went on big brother for the experience, not to get famous like some of those other wannabees - i've got real CLASS, duck.

stu - cowboy hats are for seven year old kids not grown men of 20, and michelle i'd really like you to be my bride, inside AND outside the house.

kitten - i will burn that ridiculous sailor outfit before anyone makes some shitty joke about how it's the closest i'll ever get to semen

becki - no, it's ok, YOU talk now, i've hogged the limelight enough already

ahmed - i *am* a sandwich, i *don't* hate marco, and i have perfect teeth

marco - <utter silence>

and vic - ............. well vic could say just about anything and i wouldn't be surprised... LEGEND.
Last edited by wiggleton : 02-08-2004 at 02:21

emma : I like thinking, I do.

ahmed : hey, know where I can get some pills??....I can't get it up.

victor : I just lov kissin their arrses, ya naa wot I meen, innit.

michelle : she kissed me THREEEE FOOOKIN TIMEES!

kitten : ok, I'll shutup now, your turn.

nadia : I luv ma trainers ya know, just so comfortable ain't they.

marco : YOU, ME, JASON, OUTSIDE NOW!!!

Dan : I don't give a fuc* what you think, fancy a pint?

Jason : two ticks, i'll just have a quick shave.

Stu : oh so what, seen it before, just so old hat.

Vanessa : oh chuck it away, those starving people are just lazy.

Shell : I'll just cobble any ole shit together, fried or grilled?

Becki : what, errr. you ..mean down there....oh don't be so rude!

Victor: Does anyone know who I am? I seem to have forgotten

Ahmed: I love this task!

Dan: Of course I realise Jason's straight.

Jason: Ben Fogle -- he's a better man than I am.

Michelle: True love waits, duck.

Stuart: I know my own mind: once its made up I won't change it

Vanessa: Jason -- he's a better man than Ben Fogle

Victor: -- If you've nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.

Emma: "Wow, quantum physics is such a fascinating subject.. I wish Stephen Hawking would make me his lover"

Stu: "Get your baps out, get your baps out, get your baps out for the lads! Get your baps out for the lads!"

Ahmed: "Let's see.. is everything in my suitcase? Ball gag, butt plug, copy of 'Geordie-Fetish Issue #69'.. yup, everything seems to be in check."

Vanessa: "Shell, stop acting so posh"

Shell: "This one time, at band camp.."

Victor: "I say old chap, would one like to participate in the consumption of some Darjeeling and profiteroles?"

Jason: "Titanic just left me so overcome with emotion.. I sobbed into my hankie"

Becki: "I don't mean to be a prude Michelle, but could you be a bit more private with your kissing?"

Dan: "You know why there's arguments? Because none of you care about me! Why don't any of you love me? I hate you, I hate you all!"

Marco: "I wish I was out of here, I could be Grandmaster again in no time!"

Kitten: "The BNP, now there's a political party we could all be proud of!"

Michelle: "Right, wish me luck you guys, I'm off to be a full-time receptionist! Those suits.. you can't see anything! Totally my style!"

Nadia: "I'm sorry for my nicotine craving, I'm sorry for slapping you Jason, I'm sorry for getting in a hissy fit for not getting my own way all the time and I have something to tell you about my past as well.."

Daniel: I just love it when you say innit, Victor!

Ahmed: "Marco, lets eat chicken nuggets together on the porch"

Becki: "Toe sucking is gross"

Dan: "Big Brother, my suitcase is packed and I am ready to walk as i promised ages ago, innit"

Emma: "PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS is a a lung disease caused by breathing in certain particles"

Jason: "smoking is good for you, it helps you relax"

Kitten: "Lets obey Big Brother"

Marco: "I'm in love with ahmed"

Michelle: "I want to become a brain surgeon"

Nadia: "smoking is such a disgusting habit"

Shell: "I can't walk streak, it is against my principles"

Stuart: "I can't stand people that say defo or dude, it is an unacceptable missuse of the english language"

Vanessa: " I am in love with Emma"

Victor: "I am not in it to win, i only want the experience"

Jason (thong man) would never say
I am covering up me bum crack its fat horrible and i dont love my bum no more

Ahmed - "I have no right.............."

Becki - "I am a bit shy and it will take me some time to settle in - I'll will just relax - you lot talk for a bit and I will listen because my diploma was a joke like my singing is a joke"

Dan - "Michelle you have made me a straight man and all I want to do is love a beautiful dignified young Lady like you - be my bride in white"

Emma - "I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Jason - "I am sick of exercise and polishing my butt - pass me a fag Nadia please?"

Kitten - "you men are all so dreamy, all a girl like me wants is a big man like JayJay" *sigh*

Marco - "I don't want to run around and scream - it's so undignified"

Michelle - "No petal - I want to wait until we get outside, to be sure of our feelings before we enter into a physical relatinship. So keep your eyes off my baps ok! In fact why don't you check out the other girls in the house?"

Nadia - "I don't care about the fags - lets all have a de-tox instead and wear nice comfortable trackies - Michelle have you got one I could borrow?"

Shell - "No, no - I don't understand what you are saying - I will just shut up and respectfully listen until I do"

Stuart - "You are so not amazing Michelle - stop pawing me bee-atch!!! innit"

Vanessa - "I am not too proud to have a bit of fun - lets throw cake all over me baps chicken"

Victor - "Jason, I haven't got time to plan with you - I have better things to do - like work on my big fat arse"

Jason: I met a chick with a dick at a disco and I was just so happy.

Michelle:You will never part me with my thick wollen vest. I love to wear it all the time.

Dan: Actually I am just so jealous of women. That's why I make such disgusting sexual comments about them.

Ahmed: To be honest, I have always had difficulty getting it up and keeping it up

Davina: No it's not a pantomine. They REALLY hate you.

Victor: I am afraid I always knew it was only a matter of time before someone rumbled that Iwas really an African prince educated at Eton with a first in classics from Oxbridge.

Nadia: Just because I am a woman does not mean I shouldn't be allowed to get in touch with my more masculine side now and then.

Stu: Of course academic standards are not what they were if a general ignoramus like me can get 4 starred A levels.

Shell: After all my crying bouts I have decided to join the Foreign legion so they can toughen me up and make a real man of me.

Becki: I know I can't sing for toffee. My web-site was just a spoof. Surely it didn't fool you for one minute?

Jason - Is this T-shirt too tight?

victor..masterbation is healthy/lets play fair
jason...think ill go a week without putting my fake tan on
vanessa...yes jason i will marry you
ahmed...i believe in equal rights for men and women
stu..i lied about my intelligence on the audition tape
shell...im actually quite an interesting person

i know she isn't a housemate but...

Davina: Big Brother house this is Davina. You are live on Channel 4, please swear!

Shell: I wish we could nominate every day.

Shell: For fuk's sake am I the only one that can cook around here?
Dan: Never mind, love, I'll do it.

Nadia: I used to be a non-smoker.

Jason: Dan, it's about time I came out of the closet and admitted it: I'm boring!

Stuart: Shell, as it's the last week, I can pretend you're Michelle and you can pretend I'm Scott. I've learnt how to build a tent.
Shell: OK, batface.

Michelle: Now steady on, Stu!

Davina: And the winner of Big Brother is .... JASON!

Jason 'I have been up for a laugh in here'...

oops no he DID say that, see even he is playing this game.

Jason: "For me, it's all about personality rather than appearance."

Emma: "It's the quasi-ontological perspective on relativity that really interests me."

Michelle: "I prefer to wait for the man to make the first move."

Marco: "M'lud, darling, I appear for the plaintiff."

Nadia: "Chop my dick off? You're joking ...."