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Is Poetry a Dead Art? (Part 3)
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Biz
08-03-2012
The poetry thread is in very good nick
The poets themselves have done the trick
They pop in to rhyme
Sometimes just in time
Though they've managed to shock Patsy Limerick

patsylimerick
08-03-2012
There was a young woman called Patsy,
Her rhymes, they said, gauche and quite sassy.
But her belly felt sick,
They were taking the mick,
And she said go, **** off, kiss my ass-y.

Biz
09-03-2012
Ooops! Sense of humour clash?
sandydune
09-03-2012
Originally Posted by mr. mustard:
“This took me back to my schooldays Are teachers still allowed to do that?


Love this Sandy - it almost feels Buddha-like in its simplicity. I agree with the sentiments ”

Thanks mr. mustard
mr. mustard
09-03-2012
Originally Posted by Biz:
“You didn't know Limerick was a place? You ignoramus.”

Sorry Biz
Originally Posted by sandydune:
“Thanks mr. mustard”

You're welcome Sandy
Biz
09-03-2012
Originally Posted by mr. mustard:
“Sorry Biz
”

There, there.
mr. mustard
10-03-2012
The Stones of Stenness

On the bright and windy Orkney flatlands see
Stones of Stenness looming; pagan, tall and free.

Nothing new can alter scenes of ancient joy
Just across the water from the Isle of Hoy;

Where each wise magician in the dawning light
Chose the right position for the temple's site.

Like a Scottish cousin to Stonehenge, it's true,
Once there were a dozen megaliths on view.

Though the ring's depleted, here the spirit's good,
Lasting undefeated where the uprights stood.

Three remain resilient, when the sun goes down
Sense a lost and brilliant prehistoric crown.

Feel not fear or menace at their mighty size,
Let the Stones of Stenness open up your eyes.


©
twassington
10-03-2012
Musty, you officially rock

*crowns him with a perfectly set creme caramel*
mr. mustard
10-03-2012
Originally Posted by twassington:
“Musty, you officially rock

*crowns him with a perfectly set creme caramel* ”

Thank you Twass And for the caramel
twassington
10-03-2012
That's a fantastic poem, you should be in print Not in DS covered in sticky desserts!!!
mr. mustard
10-03-2012
Originally Posted by twassington:
“That's a fantastic poem, you should be in print Not in DS covered in sticky desserts!!! ”

Thanks, that's the aim this year Twass

* wipes off caramel *
mr. mustard
11-03-2012
Love and Fish and Chips

I never shall forget Natasha Callum,
Like Helen, an immortal beauty queen,
The face that launched a thousand chips in Balham,
Which isn't Troy, but you know what I mean.

On Friday nights I'd go down to the chippie
To worship her, the girl who stole my heart,
Natasha wore a lovely shade of lippie
While serving fish, which she made seem an art.

No words of wisdom ever could have cured me,
Had she been out with many other boys?
Was it the way she shovelled cod that lured me
Or just the contours of her saveloys?

To break the ice would need the greatest caution,
It's hard to act romantic when you're near
A goddess who is wrapping up a portion
And there's a queue behind you that can hear.

I wore the smartest clothes, the trendy jackets,
Pretending I was someone to enthral
But busy serving customers their packets
She didn't even notice me at all.

Yet passion gripped me and it kept on soaring,
Although I hoped she'd let me call her Nat
The only thing she ever said was boring:
'Do you want salt and vinegar with that?'

And then I heard from my mate Sidney Perkins
Some shocking news about my English rose,
Disgruntled with the haddock, plaice and gherkins
She'd left and got a job at Rumbelows.

Desiring sweet Natasha quickly faded,
We never shared a fry-up or locked lips
And now I wonder when my love cascaded
Was it for her or just the fish and chips?


©
Biz
11-03-2012
Originally Posted by mr. mustard:
“Love and Fish and Chips


©”

Hahaha! I laughed when I first read it and I laughed again. Now I want some fish and chips - with salt and vinegar - might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.
mr. mustard
12-03-2012
Originally Posted by Biz:
“Hahaha! I laughed when I first read it and I laughed again. Now I want some fish and chips - with salt and vinegar - might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. ”

Ta Biz - I improved the poem slightly You can't beat a portion of cod and chips
mr. mustard
12-03-2012
the new recruit's first day

'Hello there mate, I see you're new,
Don't worry, you'll soon settle.
Take in the atmosphere and view
And I'll put on the kettle.'

'Oh thanks, I'm gasping for a tea!
What month is it, November?
Apart from flashbacks baffling me
There's not much I remember.'

'I was the same on my first day
But rehabilitation
And time in this place where we stay
Brings back lost information.'

'Of those few things that I recall
This is the clearest facet -
Some flowers taken to a small
Old village, Wooton Bassett.'

'Unlike yourself I never did
Return from foreign regions,
Some fought, some died, some even hid
Among our British legions.
My final vision is the blood
That spilled as Major Sanders
Led us to No Man's Land through mud,
I died like those in Flanders.'

'How awful for you, my close shave
Failed too and I've a feeling
When Mum and Dad attend my grave
The price is pain or healing.'

'Their hearts will ache, tears always drop
For every brash and shy one,
Afghanistan was your last stop
And Passchendaele was my one.'

'But that was many years ago
And you look barely twenty,
Is the the place where heroes go?
Is this the land of plenty?'

'Yes, we are men who paid the toll,
Our numbers I can't tally,
Come on now son, let's take a stroll
Across the sunlit valley.
Although we're still in uniform
We have no other duty
Than resting here where poppies form
Deep crimson plains of beauty.'


©
mr. mustard
13-03-2012
The Rise of the Gnomes

In gardens our tempers grow hotter,
Dead statuettes made by some potter
Are coming alive,
For freedom we'll strive
In massed ranks of hard terracotta.

It's time to march and for admitting
We hate every pose you deem fitting;
Clay pipes and red hats
With rods to hook sprats,
White-bearded on toadstools just sitting.

We're sick of the grass and long hours
Spent bored when much more could be ours,
We're leaving the lawns,
The petals and thorns,
Good riddance to ponds, shrubs and flowers.

Although lack of dames never hung us
The loneliness hit us and stung us
But when in command
Girl gnomes we'll demand
Then smile like the gay ones among us.

Those seven runts who helped out Snow White
Walt Disney screwed up, he had no right
To ridicule all
The fantasy small,
'Hi-Ho' we don't call yet we glow bright.

The Rise of the Gnomes, devolution
From tall humans is the solution,
Like Serbia's wars
Suburbia's laws
We'll fight with our gnome revolution!


©
mr. mustard
13-03-2012
These are the last few poems I've located in my epic task to find the lot. Somehow they'd disappeared from DS but luckily they were on an American poetry site I belong to

The total stands at 764
mr. mustard
13-03-2012
I saw it fly across the sky

A summer's evening, there sat I
On my porch feeling mellow,
I saw it fly across the sky,
A spear of orange-yellow.

I thought a meteor had glowed
But please let me be candid;
The way it turned and then it slowed
I knew no rock had landed.

I led my dog, whose name is Kip
To walk the local valley,
We always take a rural trip
When dusk begins to rally.

Aware of that location where
An object had descended,
Our route was twilight-toned and fair,
The lengthened shadows, splendid.

Kip ran ahead, his joy was plain
By now we both were nearing;
Beside the stream we left the lane
Then came upon a clearing.

Some distance off were gnarled oak trees,
I knew each rough and raw gem,
The woodlands started here with these
And that's when I first saw them:

Against the forest, camouflaged
But still with pristine features
I witnessed as my fears enlarged
Two tall unearthly creatures.

My mind was blown, my reason gone
My spine it tingled, perching
On heights of shock as I gazed on
They seemed to be researching.

Both knelt and studied our world's ground
With confidence and prudence,
Their flesh was green, they peered around
Like reptiles who were students.

And then Kip crouched, from deep inside
He barked a bark so nervous
Which meant we lost the chance to hide,
They stood up to observe us:

I can't describe the way they looked
At me, red eyes are cunning,
One gestured with its fingers hooked
But me and Kip were running.

I fled in panic, torn and frayed,
As feeble as a wafer
And didn't stop until we made
The porch - home just feels safer.

While waiting there, on guard and tense
From yonder came the roaring,
It rose out of the woods, immense;
Their craft above me soaring.

I saw it fly across the sky,
That night I shunned bedcovers
With coffees, Kip and thoughts of my
Encounter with the others.


©
archiver
13-03-2012
Originally Posted by mr. mustard:
“These are the last few poems I've located in my epic task to find the lot. Somehow they'd disappeared from DS but luckily they were on an American poetry site I belong to

The total stands at 764 ”

An amazing achievement Musty. Congratulations! And an epic task indeed. I think you're going to have quite a task to whittle it down to a publishable amount. I don't remember any of yours being less than the highest quality so I'm sure you'll find it hard to decide what goes in and what's out.

I'm still trying to find a way to build an index programmatically. I still think it's possible. It's just that friends keep bringing me things to do. Got a Korg Electribe to mess with for a few days. Truly amazing little instrument...

Loving the reposts of your golden oldies. Thanks again.
Biz
13-03-2012
Originally Posted by mr. mustard:
“These are the last few poems I've located in my epic task to find the lot. Somehow they'd disappeared from DS but luckily they were on an American poetry site I belong to

The total stands at 764 ”

Quite an achievement. Now here's a little something to cheer you on the rest of the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgqhdpPB8Y4
mr. mustard
13-03-2012
Originally Posted by archiver:
“An amazing achievement Musty. Congratulations! And an epic task indeed. I think you're going to have quite a task to whittle it down to a publishable amount. I don't remember any of yours being less than the highest quality so I'm sure you'll find it hard to decide what goes in and what's out.”

Thanks Archiver - good luck with the index What the bleeding 'ell's a Korg Electribe?

Originally Posted by Biz:
“Quite an achievement. Now here's a little something to cheer you on the rest of the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgqhdpPB8Y4”

LMAO, my Dad would have loved that Biz

One more poem to find then I'm done
archiver
14-03-2012
A Korg Electribe
A Valve Drive Synth Drum Machine
Archiver tunes are...

Probably not the place, but what a thing. I've messed with all kinds of synths and drum machines since they were invented. Including some classics. But never, in the realms of bangs for bucks I could afford, was there one packing so much utter musical capability in one warm box (it's got two 12AX7 valves which were probably fairly common 50 years ago). Anyway - Only got it for a few days so back to trying to figure out how to use it.

Check YouTube if you want to hear/see one being played. I might even do one for the tube myself, one day, if I gets another go. Could (gulp) sing my rhymes to a drum and synth background.

People would probably pay me not to do that.
mr. mustard
14-03-2012
Originally Posted by archiver:
“Probably not the place, but what a thing. I've messed with all kinds of synths and drum machines since they were invented. Including some classics. But never, in the realms of bangs for bucks I could afford, was there one packing so much utter musical capability in one warm box (it's got two 12AX7 valves which were probably fairly common 50 years ago). Anyway - Only got it for a few days so back to trying to figure out how to use it. ”

I checked it out on YouTube Ever fancy playing the real thing a la Ringo?
mr. mustard
14-03-2012
Seance at eight

At good Mrs Frobisher's house I arrived
Where afterlife traces it's rumoured survived,
The regulars turned up and no one was late
To try Mrs Frobisher's seance at eight.

I talked for a while with both Horace and Maud
Who spoke of their constant belief in the Lord,
Then cucumber sandwiches and tea were served
But Horace was more fond of wine I observed.

The wallpaper glowed, William Morris I think;
A beautiful pattern in soft green and pink,
The bookcase contained a well-thumbed HG Wells,
Two Huxleys and Betjeman's Summoned By Bells.

In time Mrs Frobisher said 'Let's begin',
We sat at her table without noise or din
And when Mrs Frobisher turned off the light
We all of us held hands and I held on tight.

My seat was between Mr Grant and Hortense,
There wasn't a creak yet the aura felt tense,
The silence was eerie, the atmosphere strange
When our hostess told us a ghost was in range.

It seemed like a lifetime, I started to doubt
If anything spectral would scamper about,
Relaxing a little, some opened their eyes
And that's when we heard the most mournful of sighs.

I'm sure Horace thought it was only the wine,
Though I felt a tingle shoot right up my spine
But when Mrs Frobisher whispered 'Who's there?'
No further response came from out of the air.

I know that it wasn't my mind playing tricks,
Exhaling four feet off is too hard to fix
Because Mrs Frobisher, one place from me
Could never have faked it from there, don't you see?

While windows were suddenly pelted with rain
She asked her new guest if it lingered in pain,
Despite the room's darkness no lost soul replied;
The only sound heard was the downpour outside.

She switched on the light and she called it a day,
She told us the phantom had gone on it's way,
I left in a mystified magical state
From good Mrs Frobisher's seance at eight.


©
archiver
15-03-2012
Originally Posted by mr. mustard:
“I checked it out on YouTube Ever fancy playing the real thing a la Ringo?”

No no. Joined in at communal percussion tents at festivals, but never fancied a real set of drums. Know a few drummers though. One pretty successful (a UK number 1)

I like synths. VCOs and VCAs and filters and envelopes etc.
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