I'm back bitches! Like Norma Jean and Britney Jean I was carted off but my Joe Dimaggio came and saved me and I'm here once more! Oh daddy when one is like I, then one can't stay away too long before my fellow posters long for I! This isn't an apology so if you're looking for one, move on now, or at least put your eye condoms on. Yes that's right I know my sh!t, I've brought my library card, have you?
Apparently if you like GaGa you must act all dispassionate, but I'm sorry dear I'm not imperturbable by my nature, I'm a manic when it comes to things that matter greatly to me. I'm not going to be able to not lose my sh!t when GaGa does something new, that is not in my character. I can either be the that quiet little obedient bitch so many of you want me to be, or I can accept that I was born this way and to hell with the rest of you. This is hardly my Sophie's choice, chosing between inspirational GaGa and that ugly bald baby like creature with its grey skin, creased face and demonic eyes. Smash that creature against the post I say.
But I must too learn an invaluable lesson here, as I re-enter this rotten church I must accept that the pharasees that once condemed Stefani as she slaved in the lower east side have reemerged here, blind to message that is so much a part of their idol it runs viscous in her viens. However I cannot sing to thier sinister tune, why can't GaGa be the greatest, she may not be the first but she damn well will be the ****ing best. Look at all the art movements throughout history, impressionism, the renaissance, cubism, surrealism, etc. Name the greats from each movement and you're not naming the first to apply their rules, but the ones that took the principles and defined central essence of the movement. Michael Jackson, Bowie, Madonna may have laid the foundations of the movement, but they were subject the ficklties of the pop world, GaGa will define the movement. They will be remembered, but in GaGa's shadow.
So today we were gifted with another masterpiece. Well some of us got ours on Saturday. Of course many of you couldn't help yourself and downloaded the leak. The great thing about art is that it is so open to interpretations. But how can you view Da Vinci's Benois Madonna through frosted glass? Or Tracy Emin's Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963–1995 after a raging inferno has ripped out it's soul? Or how can you attest to the true horror of Paul Delaroche's The Execution of Lady Jane Grey when the last third has been barbarically decapitated from it?
It is only fair to view the works as the artist intended them to be viewed and then you can interperet fairly. So I waited, when it could have been so much easier to cave to such carnal desires. On the morn of Saturday when my copy arrived I cocooned myself and meditated to the album. As GaGa before cocooned herself I followed in her wisened footsteps. For almost 3 days I remained in a constant state of meditaion, listening, feeding, breathing, only Born This Way. What a nourishing treat for the soul!
The experiance changed me, I broke out of my cocoon and different creature, a flying unicorn! There is not one weak track, I would rate every track and 9 or 10 out of 10. I don't believe a more solid album has graced this earth. Many have described Born This Way as a modern day Thriller, but it would be hard and foolish not to see Born This Way as GaGa's Les demoiselles d'Avignon! Many will endavour to bring down the album and GaGa but then there are people who don't get Warhol, Dali, Picasso.
So there you have it, my vomit! And don't you ****ing dare try and mop it up, its my vomit and I'm going to honour it!