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Old 13-06-2011, 16:17
Sez_babe
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What things only happen in soap?
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:20
PacinoFan
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Not one person in the community owns a washing machine. I know I know, but I cannot get over it. They cost so very little these days (yes, you, Ian Beale)!.

Your most darkest secret will be shouted out in the local pub by a complete stranger (yes, you, Roxy!)

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Old 13-06-2011, 16:24
EETILLIDIE11
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All hell breaks loose at Christmas, every year.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:25
Marie123
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You have a low paid job, never actually seem to go to work, yet still afford a house, to go to the pub every night and go for breakfast and lunch in the cafe.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:27
Sez_babe
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Yeh, as soon as you move to soapland, your past gets revealed to everyone
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:31
rbdcay
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You seemingly sleep with anyone in the village, street, or neighbourhood as there seems to be no one else out there from the big town near by.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:36
JackW
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You can leave a room as one person and come back a completely different one,and no-one ever says a word.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:39
catsmeow
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Smiling and being happy is not allowed.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:40
bonkers_hev
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- You will also launch into the latter stages of labour immediately, with screaming and contractions every 30 seconds.

- Young characters can magically appear with a different face and age overnight by several years.

- If you have a child, you’re social life will not be affected as you will spend your days as you did before said child, without uttering the word ‘babysitter’.

- Female neighbours of childbearing ages can often spend months wearing black and placing objects infront of their stomach. This often prompts some time away, with prison quite likely.

- Jobs are easy to come by and you can usually see your workplace from your bedroom window, but it's a simple matter to arrange a week's employment in the Middle East if you need to briefly make yourself scarce while still earning. Also if you are fired, you will be offered your job back within a week, or will work across the road.

- If you do happen to work in the 'city' you never go to work and just wonder around carrying a brief case or clip board, without really knowing what you do, and make excuses when you do rarely go, about days off/finishing early, lunch breaks etc before getting sacked and relenting to work in the same space as your neighbours at some point.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:40
rbdcay
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Sometimes children go missing but they are with the glorified baby-sitter whom you never see or hear from, but they appear at the most convenient of times.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:41
Sarah Anne
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You work in the street you live......

The jukebox will stop when you are rowing with someone.....
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:43
Face Of Jack
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Smiling and being happy is not allowed.
That only applies to one soap though

Also people would rather have a coffee in the cafe next door rather than make one at home!
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:44
Sez_babe
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Ten people can live in a three bedroom house with no problem
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:44
rbdcay
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Let's not forget, you can go into a salon for a new hairdo and come out with the same hairdo all fresh and tidied.

Customers in said salon you only ever see in said salon.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:47
bonkers_hev
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Discussing secrets in a pub or the street is they way to go. Dont go talking about them in alleys or secluded areas as someone can hear you, and ultimately blackmail you.

New neighbours are never concerned about the high death and murder ratesin the areas they have just moved into.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:50
bonkers_hev
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In the case of a major event occuring in which emergency services will need to be called, your phone will miraculously be out of battery and/or the signal is strangely problamatic. Despite this not happening when you took a phone call there three days previously.

Emergency services always take an age to get to the local disaster, due to some unknown incident occuring.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:51
rbdcay
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Discussing secrets in a pub or the street is they way to go. Dont go talking about them in alleys or secluded areas as someone can hear you, and ultimately blackmail you.

New neighbours are never concerned about the high death and murder ratesin the areas they have just moved into.
And you never see them actually purchase the house and sometimes you never actually see them pay rent either.
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Old 13-06-2011, 16:55
Hound of Love
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Couples living together must get married within months of getting together...
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:01
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If your kids/close friends/relatives move away, they never come back to visit and probably wouldn't even come to your funeral.
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:02
tenchgirl
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becoming a miserable basket seams to prevail.
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:03
Mokey76
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Couples living together must get married within months of getting together...
Even though neither have decent jobs, they will have no problem affording it either?
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:08
Sarah Anne
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Everyone has everyones mobile number!

Whether it be the Headmistresses or someone you've never spoken to. Even your partners exes!!
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:19
porshacat
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All hell breaks loose at Christmas, every year.
Wait...I thought that was normal.

If your kids/close friends/relatives move away, they never come back to visit and probably wouldn't even come to your funeral.

...or wedding, or to court when you go down for murder.

also when you want to speak on the telephone in secret you will face away from the doorway, so that when someone walks in, you will not notice them, and carry on speaking, revealing all.

Or if you are supposed to be looking after a child, you will turn away from them to talk on the phone, so that they can disappear and you can get the blame for said missing child, which everyone in the neighbourhood will go out and look for. Then when the child is found, it will never get told off for being a naughty little brat.
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:32
ofni
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There is no tabloid press taking a continuing interest in the astonishing concentration of recurring disasters, crimes and scandals that afflict the village/street/square. Any occasional press interest is solely concerned with the immediate disaster/crime/scandal of the moment, and consists of no more than one desultory reporter.
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Old 13-06-2011, 17:37
sorcha_healy27
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you can end up falling in love with a rapist and totally changing him (Home and away, kirsty and kane I am referring to you!! )
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