Although the Xoom has more RAM, the iPad 2 has a superior GPU, and they both have the same CPU.
Screen... Yes, the Xoom's screen has a slightly higher resolution, but only because the screen is slightly larger due to the AR being 16:9 rather than 4:3. iPad 3 / iPad 2HD (rumoured for September, if not March) will have a "Retina display" like the iPhone 4, with the vertical & horizontal both doubled. Still 4:3 though of course...admittedly I would prefer 16:9 due to playing a lot of videos.
Cameras... Don't care, personally. Never used the ones on mine, never plan on using them. I admit they are lower resolution, though, although they sound sufficient to me for what they're used for. VGA on the front for video calling, 720p on the back for video recording. Don't see why anyone would want to use a tablet to take stills (well, or even video for that matter), but that's me.
Phone... Why use a tablet as a phone?
Flash... Don't care, personally. Not needed for iPlayer, 4oD, YouTube, or TVCatchup.com. I don't play Flash games, don't like Flash sites, and have no desire to see Flash adverts. I rarely use Flash on my PC, and haven't missed it on the iPad.
Videos... Although the iPad's Videos app only supports Apple's fave formats, there are plenty of 3rd party apps that play Xvids etc. I use AVPlayerHD, which can handle pretty much everything, including HD MKV files with subs.
Sound... Only one speaker, yes, but the iPad has stereo sound via the headphone socket.
Accessories...£35 for the HDMI adaptor, £25 for the "camera connection kit" (USB plus an SD slot). Don't give a monkey's about either, myself, but I admit it's the standard Apple thing of making you pay for these things instead of including them.
Syncing... yep, sadly not drag and drop. Still, iTunes isn't as bad as some make out, plus syncing will improve greatly when iOS5 is out in September.