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Old 18-04-2013, 16:41
katywil
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I picked up Midnight by Josephine Cox paperback in the supermarket because it had a shiny cover! I have read one or two of hers but this one is so dire it's laughable.

In the first chapter, she actually writes "suddenly, without warning".

I keep it in the loo to read when I'm sitting there. To be honest I should be wiping my asre on the pages. That is all it's fit for.
ive just trawled through "let it shine". its the first and the last book of hers i'll ever read.
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Old 19-04-2013, 01:22
Cyclist
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Anything by Chris Kuzneski. Bad even by the standards of gung-ho buddy action novels. The same stock introductory phrases are cut and pasted from novel to novel. The hero is an American white millionaire who has a blue collar mentality. His best mate is a black man he was in the Army with. Guess which one tends to be in charge? Bad guys are totally bad with no redeeming features (watch out for the penis in the mincer as a warning). They have a network of fawning assistants in positions of power around the world. They have gunfights where massive firepower is used, sometimes quite publically, all the bad guys get conveniently killed off, a few minor assistants get killed but they and all bystanders survive. Plots revolve around rich historic backgrounds in exotic locations but basically boil down to find treasure before the bad guys do. The hero and his buddy may be massively outnumbered but use special Hollywood bullets so they can outshoot the bad guys 10 to 1 (and they are ex-Special Forces). They have every skill going, apart from foreign languages. Any difficulties with authorities due to the presence of dead bodies or shooting up luxury hotels with machine guns are waved away by their friends in international law enforcement. Neither character is gay but neither has a long term relationship with a woman either, things don't work out. And they are toooo ethical to go for one-night stands despite being wealthy and very-wealthy. When they do find treasure they give it to museums instead of making a few million.

These are buddy-buddy novels that would appeal to idealistic 12 year olds but nothing on the covers suggests a juvenile target audience.

Sad thing is there are good bits, but the google-eyed hero-worshiping naivety swamps them.

'Think Indiana Jones and The Da Vinci Code and you're in Kuzneski-land' SUNDAY SPORT

'Makes you wish it would never end' CLIVE CUSSLER
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Old 19-04-2013, 22:38
Loula-Belle
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The Lovely Bones is an awful book. So many people raved about it but I thought it was dreadful.
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Old 24-04-2013, 18:03
planets
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Ender's Game is so bad there isn't an adjective available to express it's awfulness.
the majority of the book describes 8 year old boys playing virtual war games before they save the universe (no eye roll BIG enough)
i did read an excellent psychiatrist's report about how dreadful it was (which made me feel better about hating it so much and revealed much about the person who recommended it to me).
avoid it at all costs
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Old 24-04-2013, 20:53
Cellar_Door
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The Lovely Bones is an awful book. So many people raved about it but I thought it was dreadful.
Spoiler
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Old 24-04-2013, 20:58
kimindex
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I'm sure it's not the worst I've ever read but, because so many people raved about it, I'd say the Pillars of the Earth. I really wanted to like it because the story and setting sounded interesting.

I even bought the sequel to see if I could like that and it was the same.

I don't know what's wrong with me since people have very highly praised it.
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Old 24-04-2013, 23:23
Grumpy pants
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I think some of the worst books I've read have been in kindle form. One I bought (didn't pay a lot for it, thankfully) was the length of a pamphlet, ten pages and it was finished.
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Old 25-04-2013, 23:03
Erythroleukos
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Ive read some crackers whilst on holiday.

Some Bernard cornwell book about a Medieval English archer searching for the holy grail in a sea of cliched two dimensional characters and boring fights.
Need to write yourself out of an impossibly tough situation? Just finish the last few pages with all the baddies catching the plague with no warning whatsoever.

Another atrocious book about Robin Hood teaming up with the Knights Templar and the local Celts (!! - in 12c England no less) to defeat the ol' Sherriff of Nottingham. Actually it was so bad it was good. I think it was called Outlaw but I can't remember the author.

The worst was a series of books about Orcs with the first called Bodyguard of Lightning. This made no sense, was utterly stupid and worst of all - just plain boring. An utter dogs-egg of the highest order.
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Old 28-04-2013, 20:12
GirlfromEireann
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I thought the 'Time Travellers Wife' was dire, as was the book after it that Audrey Niffenegger wrote - can't even remember the name.

More recently, 'Umbrella' by Will Self - I was trying to read the six that were shortlisted for the 2012 Booker Prize. It's a stream of conciousness novel - DIRE - meaning it doesn't have paragraph's chapter etc. I loathe giving up on a book, but I really was only reading words on a page by 178 pages in (when I gave up!!) rather than sentences or reading for meaning.

Can't say I've been gone either on the 2 Johnathan Franzen novels I've read - eventhough everyone, including Oprah and Obama seem to recommend them
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Old 28-04-2013, 20:30
Mandark
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I think some of the worst books I've read have been in kindle form. One I bought (didn't pay a lot for it, thankfully) was the length of a pamphlet, ten pages and it was finished.
Amazon are going to ban these very short stories.
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Old 04-05-2013, 00:08
Tyeveras
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"Battlefield Earth - A Saga of the Year 3000" by L. Ron Hubbard.

I read this on the recommendation of an otherwise sane friend, well before I ever heard of old L. Ron's alternative religion, so was not prejudiced either way by the Scientology thing.

It really is the most utter rubbish! I do remember one particularly bad line, "Here was a dent where an atomic bomb had hit it."

Worse still, John Travolta made a film out of it.......
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Old 10-05-2013, 01:18
Chatty Jeff
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im gonna go with books that are generally regarded as classics rather than pick on easy targets...

catcher in the rye - in fairness if id read this when i was a teenager it might have meant more to me, and maybe i could have more empathy with the character and so on, but i didnt read it until i was in my 30s and all i could think was what a horrible whiny brat holden caulfield is

on the road - i cant actually remember much about this other than how utterly bored i was throughout and what a struggle it was to complete despite being relatively short

lolita- just left me cold. didnt like the writing style and found it hard to read the story from the perspective of a character who was pretty repulsive
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Old 12-05-2013, 12:24
Babycakes15
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Of Mice and Men. I hated it. Had to read it for GCSE English and I couldn't get into it. Gave it another go a few weeks ago because I thought that maybe the main reason I couldn't get into it was because I had to read it for school. I just didn't like it, it didn't grab me in the way that books tend to do.

50 Shades of Grey. Need I say more?
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Old 12-05-2013, 18:27
barbeler
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I tried to read the first Harry Potter book when it first came out, due to all the hype it was getting. I gave up after a few pages, because the writing style was appalling and the story was like something written by a twelve-year-old. Perhaps its popularity is indicative of most people's reading ability.
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Old 12-05-2013, 18:59
RyJa
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The Tudor Wife by Emily Purdy. It's the biggest load of drivel I've ever read. I love Tudor stories, anything set in that period of time but its just awful.

Anne of Cleves, Katherine Howard and a jar of honey?!

Avoid.
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Old 13-05-2013, 23:09
zoe_lou
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the last true blood book - dead ever after. AWFUL
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