[DitzyDi]

t999 - I have everything crossed for you xx

[RAINBOWGIRL22]

Originally Posted by tj999

good luck to all who are trying i am trying again after 7 miscarriges the last one 12 months ago very scared but we are staying positive and hope that this time all goes well

You poor thing.

Did you not undergo investigations into why you keep miscarrying hun?

xxxxxxx

[tj999]

Originally Posted by RAINBOWGIRL22

You poor thing.

Did you not undergo investigations into why you keep miscarrying hun?

xxxxxxx

thank-you all yes we did and they could,nt find anything wrong i had a consultant that said it was just one of those things but i am now with a very good doctor that has been very helpful and fingers crossed when i concieve this time has told me to tell her asap so i can have early scans to moniter things so i,m hopefull this time around

[tj999]

Originally Posted by DitzyDi

t999 - I have everything crossed for you xx

Thank-you you too

[Taboo]

Originally Posted by tj999

good luck to all who are trying i am trying again after 7 miscarriges the last one 12 months ago very scared but we are staying positive and hope that this time all goes well

Good luck to you and ditzy di.

I found the clear blue digi tests easier to use. I did try the pound shop ones but got and inaccurate result. There's no hiding with a clear blue,which also tells you how far along you are.

Dropped in a second urine test today to check for protein,and have to ring after 2pm tomorrow for results.

[tj999]

Originally Posted by Taboo

Good luck to you and ditzy di.

I found the clear blue digi tests easier to use. I did try the pound shop ones but got and inaccurate result. There's no hiding with a clear blue,which also tells you how far along you are.

Dropped in a second urine test today to check for protein,and have to ring after 2pm tomorrow for results.

thanksgood luck with the results taboo but i,m sure you,ll be fine

[Miss F]

Hi everyone, long time lurker of DS here and a lurker of this thread in particular for the past few weeks. Decided to sign up as me and my bf have decided to try for a baby. We've been together for 11 years, i'm 27 now and we decided it's time we grew up (lol) and had a family.

This is our 1st month of officially trying. I'm not expecting anything but still it's an exciting time. Good luck everyone

[DitzyDi]

Miss F - we too are trying and this lot seem really good xx

[Miss F]

yeah everyone seems so friendly here, and really supportive

[Taboo]

Originally Posted by tj999

thanksgood luck with the results taboo but i,m sure you,ll be fine

Thank you
Good luck miss f

[Missjef]

Good luck to those new baby boom thread ladies who are trying for a baby
I hope you have good news soon.

I just want to say those moist toilet paper tissue things are fab! Just a tip for anyone else who has stitches / sore down there after having a baby!

[mrs_buckley]

Good luck to those of you who are trying, fingers crossed you will all be successful quickly!

[miss-kitty]

MissJef, glad to see you are feeling a bit better now! I've been worried!

Good luck to all those that are trying! I remember being there 7 1/2 months ago.
I look forward to hearing all the updates!

I'm not really looking forward to this scan tomorrow, I can't wait to see Little Miss on screen again, but I'm dreading them confirming what I think!
For the time being I can keep convincing myself I'm just being paranoid.
She is still partying away in there, wild child!

[gillypanda]

Originally Posted by miss-kitty

MissJef, glad to see you are feeling a bit better now! I've been worried!

Good luck to all those that are trying! I remember being there 7 1/2 months ago.
I look forward to hearing all the updates!

I'm not really looking forward to this scan tomorrow, I can't wait to see Little Miss on screen again, but I'm dreading them confirming what I think!
For the time being I can keep convincing myself I'm just being paranoid.
She is still partying away in there, wild child!

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending good vibes ~~~~~~~~~ xx

[tj999]

Originally Posted by Miss F

Hi everyone, long time lurker of DS here and a lurker of this thread in particular for the past few weeks. Decided to sign up as me and my bf have decided to try for a baby. We've been together for 11 years, i'm 27 now and we decided it's time we grew up (lol) and had a family.

This is our 1st month of officially trying. I'm not expecting anything but still it's an exciting time. Good luck everyone

Good luck MissF and welcome to DS

[marianna01]

Originally Posted by mrs_buckley

Good luck to those of you who are trying, fingers crossed you will all be successful quickly!

Yes good luck all of you - it's going to be a busy year for all the lurking grans on here!

[Missjef]

I feel so useless
Theo was getting upset & wouldn't settle at all with me so my mum took him & surprise surprise he settles.
I just sometimes feel like I'm watching my mum & step dad have a baby not me .
And I don't know if it's because I'm not breastfeeding but i just feel like I can't give him anything that they cant if that makes sense. So even tho I'm his mum & have birth to him, there is nothing I can do that they can't. So I feel like I'm just a spare part
Does that make sense? I didn't want to breastfeed , but I kind of feel like if I had that maybe I'd feel a stronger bond with him as I would be the only person who could do that.

Maybe thing s will be better when I move back into my own house & then it'll just be me & him.

I'm just finding everything so hard & I think because I've not been around any babies or anything I don't really know what to do with them

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for my mums help, but I just don't feel like its my baby

Think my hormones are just all over the place at the moment.

All of this + the fact that i just wish that my nana was here to see my little one

[mrs_buckley]

Missjef, it is hard when someone else seems to do a better job of settling your baby than you can. however your parents aren't as emotionally bound to your baby as you are, so his crying doesn't affect them in the same way. This in turn means they don't get that first feeling of panic that rises in you when he doesn't settle immediately - which he can pick up on.

I remember my husband going out for the day when my little girl was about 5 weeks old. Those first 5 weeks he had been doing all the feeds and changes because I was expressing milk for her every time she fed. I had no idea how to settle her or anything. He went out for the day this one day and she cried and cried all morning, I cried a lot too because I had no idea what to do for her, I was stressed because I couldn't express milk for her as she wouldn't settle, and in the end I had to get my dad to come round - he walked in to her screaming, me crying, picked her up and she settled immediately. I felt absolutely useless.

Unfortunately babies pick up on your emotions and much as I know it's hard, you should try to relax a bit when he cries - it's not the end of the world and he WILL settle eventually. I know it is absolutely awful listening to your baby cry but the less you allow it to panic you then the less upset baby will get.

Don't forget though that you are a first time parent, and not only that but you are a first time parent to Theo, just as he is a frst time baby to you. you BOTH need to learn about each other which will happen in time. You are not failing, you are not useless, it's just a huge adjustment.

[crazybutterflyx]

Originally Posted by Missjef

I feel so useless
Theo was getting upset & wouldn't settle at all with me so my mum took him & surprise surprise he settles.
I just sometimes feel like I'm watching my mum & step dad have a baby not me .
And I don't know if it's because I'm not breastfeeding but i just feel like I can't give him anything that they cant if that makes sense. So even tho I'm his mum & have birth to him, there is nothing I can do that they can't. So I feel like I'm just a spare part Does that make sense? I didn't want to breastfeed , but I kind of feel like if I had that maybe I'd feel a stronger bond with him as I would be the only person who could do that.

Maybe thing s will be better when I move back into my own house & then it'll just be me & him.

I'm just finding everything so hard & I think because I've not been around any babies or anything I don't really know what to do with them

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for my mums help, but I just don't feel like its my baby

Think my hormones are just all over the place at the moment.

All of this + the fact that i just wish that my nana was here to see my little one

You can be his mother, neither of them can. No matter what they do for him you'll always be his mother, your the one who put your own life aside to bring him into the world (I've seen some of your other threads) and thats huge. My Grandma is one of my best friends, I am so close to her, but she isn't my mum. She does lots for me, I see her at least three times a week, she gives me money to go towards anything I'm saving up for (I don't ask her to) but she isn't my mum who, along with my dad, works to provide everything for me and I totally appreciate that, which my parents know I do without me having to say.
Your allowed to be overwhealmed. Have you mentioned to your mum how you feel? I'm sure she'll understand, she probably felt the same when you were born! You've got to give yourself time, your new at this and the fact that you care says a lot. There are plenty of people who have children they just don't give a [insert a bad word of your choice]. One of my best friends has basically raised her little brother because her mum couldn't be bothered to do it all over again for her fourth child.
I know its easy for me to say all this, I'm not in the situation, but it seems to me that your being a good mum already, you want to do the best for your son and thats great. Honestly, I know people who'd kill for their parents to be like you are with your son!

[miss-kitty]

Originally Posted by mrs_buckley

Missjef, it is hard when someone else seems to do a better job of settling your baby than you can. however your parents aren't as emotionally bound to your baby as you are, so his crying doesn't affect them in the same way. This in turn means they don't get that first feeling of panic that rises in you when he doesn't settle immediately - which he can pick up on.

I remember my husband going out for the day when my little girl was about 5 weeks old. Those first 5 weeks he had been doing all the feeds and changes because I was expressing milk for her every time she fed. I had no idea how to settle her or anything. He went out for the day this one day and she cried and cried all morning, I cried a lot too because I had no idea what to do for her, I was stressed because I couldn't express milk for her as she wouldn't settle, and in the end I had to get my dad to come round - he walked in to her screaming, me crying, picked her up and she settled immediately. I felt absolutely useless.

Unfortunately babies pick up on your emotions and much as I know it's hard, you should try to relax a bit when he cries - it's not the end of the world and he WILL settle eventually. I know it is absolutely awful listening to your baby cry but the less you allow it to panic you then the less upset baby will get.

Don't forget though that you are a first time parent, and not only that but you are a first time parent to Theo, just as he is a frst time baby to you. you BOTH need to learn about each other which will happen in time. You are not failing, you are not useless, it's just a huge adjustment.

Originally Posted by crazybutterflyx

You can be his mother, neither of them can. No matter what they do for him you'll always be his mother, your the one who put your own life aside to bring him into the world (I've seen some of your other threads) and thats huge. My Grandma is one of my best friends, I am so close to her, but she isn't my mum. She does lots for me, I see her at least three times a week, she gives me money to go towards anything I'm saving up for (I don't ask her to) but she isn't my mum who, along with my dad, works to provide everything for me and I totally appreciate that, which my parents know I do without me having to say.
Your allowed to be overwhealmed. Have you mentioned to your mum how you feel? I'm sure she'll understand, she probably felt the same when you were born! You've got to give yourself time, your new at this and the fact that you care says a lot. There are plenty of people who have children they just don't give a [insert a bad word of your choice]. One of my best friends has basically raised her little brother because her mum couldn't be bothered to do it all over again for her fourth child.
I know its easy for me to say all this, I'm not in the situation, but it seems to me that your being a good mum already, you want to do the best for your son and thats great. Honestly, I know people who'd kill for their parents to be like you are with your son!

I have quoted the two replies above, as they have both summed up exactly what I would have said!
It is not a case of your Mum being 'better' than you, just that you are tired, and I'd say hormonal too, which Theo will pick up on.
I used to leave the room for 5 minutes when my boys were like this (making sure they were safe and secure first obviously) I'd go and get myself a drink of water, splash some on my face, take a deep breath and go back with lot's of smiles and cuddles. Worked for me everytime, I just needed to give myself those 5 minutes. It may sound a little cruel to leave your baby to cry, but as long as they are secure, it's not going to hurt them.

Have you spoken to your Midwife/Health visitor/Doctor about the possibilty of PND? I don't want you to feel like I am critisising, and I am certainly no expert whatsoever, but after all you went through, I think it could be possible you have this?

As parents we all have times we feel useless, and I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't get a whole lot easier. My boys are 6 now, and I often feel useless, like last year, when they both had AWFUL teachers, and there was nothing I could do about it! I watched my boys sink lower and lower, and I felt powerless!
It happens my love, we just have to find ways to cope with our uselessness.
I definately think that coming on here and letting it all out is at least one way to deal with things, the ladies on here always have such good advice, and even if no advice can be offered, they are always here with a kind word or two.

I hope you will start to feel better about things soon, just know that you are not alone, though I'm sure you feel that way sometimes.

[Miss N]

Originally Posted by Missjef

I feel so useless
Theo was getting upset & wouldn't settle at all with me so my mum took him & surprise surprise he settles.
I just sometimes feel like I'm watching my mum & step dad have a baby not me .
And I don't know if it's because I'm not breastfeeding but i just feel like I can't give him anything that they cant if that makes sense. So even tho I'm his mum & have birth to him, there is nothing I can do that they can't. So I feel like I'm just a spare part
Does that make sense? I didn't want to breastfeed , but I kind of feel like if I had that maybe I'd feel a stronger bond with him as I would be the only person who could do that.

Maybe thing s will be better when I move back into my own house & then it'll just be me & him.

I'm just finding everything so hard & I think because I've not been around any babies or anything I don't really know what to do with them

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for my mums help, but I just don't feel like its my baby

Think my hormones are just all over the place at the moment.

All of this + the fact that i just wish that my nana was here to see my little one

My sister was 39 when she had her first baby. Her partner had a child from his first marraige. My sister didn't want to breastfeed so her partner seemed to take over and feed the baby etc. My Sister felt really down and felt like she didn't know what to do. This was around the same time as you are at now and it didn't last long.
I think its a combination of your tiredness and those bloody hormones!!
I think it will be good for you though to get back into your own home.
My sister in law had a baby the other year after 10 years of trying. Her Mum couldn't wait to be a Grandma and is round there all the time. I personally feel she has too much of an input but that's maybe because I don't live close to my family so had to just do it all myself.
I think your Mum is probably just trying to make things easier for you. If you were going to live with her permanently I would offer you different advice but as its only temporary, don't worry.
Of course Theo knows you'er his Mum. He knows your voice from in the womb and he knows your smell etc.
I breastfed my first two but my third had jaundice and couldn't digest the breastmilk, so I had to give him two bottles a day. God did I notice the difference that my husband could feed him and I could also go out for 4 hours and not have to worry about getting back to breastfeed him!
I can see pros and cons to both bottle and breast so don't feel any guilt whatsoever that you don't breastfeed.
After 3 kids and 3 lots of breastfeeding, my boobs are now down around my ankles!!!

[Miss N]

Originally Posted by crazybutterflyx

You can be his mother, neither of them can. No matter what they do for him you'll always be his mother, your the one who put your own life aside to bring him into the world (I've seen some of your other threads) and thats huge. My Grandma is one of my best friends, I am so close to her, but she isn't my mum. She does lots for me, I see her at least three times a week, she gives me money to go towards anything I'm saving up for (I don't ask her to) but she isn't my mum who, along with my dad, works to provide everything for me and I totally appreciate that, which my parents know I do without me having to say.
Your allowed to be overwhealmed. Have you mentioned to your mum how you feel? I'm sure she'll understand, she probably felt the same when you were born! You've got to give yourself time, your new at this and the fact that you care says a lot. There are plenty of people who have children they just don't give a [insert a bad word of your choice]. One of my best friends has basically raised her little brother because her mum couldn't be bothered to do it all over again for her fourth child.
I know its easy for me to say all this, I'm not in the situation, but it seems to me that your being a good mum already, you want to do the best for your son and thats great. Honestly, I know people who'd kill for their parents to be like you are with your son!

Hello again!
You are such a lovely young woman. A credit to your family.
You have such a mature outlook on stuff. You really impress me compared to most of the young 'uns today!!
What lovely advice you have just given Misjef - well done!
I hope my Daughter turns out as lovely as you!!

[Miss N]

Originally Posted by miss-kitty

I have quoted the two replies above, as they have both summed up exactly what I would have said!
It is not a case of your Mum being 'better' than you, just that you are tired, and I'd say hormonal too, which Theo will pick up on.
I used to leave the room for 5 minutes when my boys were like this (making sure they were safe and secure first obviously) I'd go and get myself a drink of water, splash some on my face, take a deep breath and go back with lot's of smiles and cuddles. Worked for me everytime, I just needed to give myself those 5 minutes. It may sound a little cruel to leave your baby to cry, but as long as they are secure, it's not going to hurt them.

Have you spoken to your Midwife/Health visitor/Doctor about the possibilty of PND? I don't want you to feel like I am critisising, and I am certainly no expert whatsoever, but after all you went through, I think it could be possible you have this?

As parents we all have times we feel useless, and I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't get a whole lot easier. My boys are 6 now, and I often feel useless, like last year, when they both had AWFUL teachers, and there was nothing I could do about it! I watched my boys sink lower and lower, and I felt powerless!
It happens my love, we just have to find ways to cope with our uselessness.
I definately think that coming on here and letting it all out is at least one way to deal with things, the ladies on here always have such good advice, and even if no advice can be offered, they are always here with a kind word or two.

I hope you will start to feel better about things soon, just know that you are not alone, though I'm sure you feel that way sometimes.

When I thought I had PND I asked my Health Visitor about it and she gave me a form to complete that asked me certain questions. A lot of it is how you feel about the baby. I didn't have it. I'm not familiar with all the symptoms but I think the fact Misjef is so in awe of her little boy and loves him so much that I would say she is just suffering from some baby blues and the trauma of the birth. I do recommend she tell her midwife and health visitor how she is feeling though.

As for what happened to your boys, the exact same thing happened to my Son at that age. I was so bloody annoyed. I hate most of the teachers at his schooll. He's 9 now and has been diagnosed dyslexic. I knew he was but they won't test them until they are 8.
The worst thing is that my youngest started last year and seems to be following the same Teacher pattern as my son (its a large school, 3 classes per year) which means he will ge the Teacher I absolutely cant stand next year. I am already stressing about it as she knocked my other sons confidence so much I am now worried she will do it to my youngest as he has speech problems same as my other son had
You are right, it never gets any easier!
Good luck for tomorrow...I'm away from Sat-Wed with no internet access, so hopefully you will post an update tomorrow before I go away!

[Miss N]

Originally Posted by Miss F

yeah everyone seems so friendly here, and really supportive

Hello and welcome

My friend had numerous miscarriages as she has PCOS..it took them a while to diagnose her with it. She had to have IVF but went on to have two beautiful children after many attempts.

My Sister-in Law tried for 10 years, IUI, IVF...never ever got pregnant. After her last IVF fail she got really depressed but then fell pregnant naturally later that year and had a little girl.

Are you having IVF?

Wishing you lots of luck this time round...x

[Miss N]

Originally Posted by DitzyDi

Am not sure how to copy previous posts!

MissN - I came off the pill 27th Dec and started my period 31 Dec so this would be my first 'natural' period. Did pregnancy test 1st Feb and was negative.

To show previous post click on 'quote' ____> over there on the right!

I'm not familiar with the new trendy tests, so did you use the one that tells you how far along you are? What does it say in the instructions about how soon you can do them as I worked out that you did yours 33 days into your cycle. BUT, it depends what cycle you are...I am anything from 29-32 days, so if I did one at 33 days I am effectively only 1 day late. I'm not sure if a test would show that early, but they do seem to have udpated them more nowadays.

I think the Tesco tests will be fine but you might feel more confident with the one that tells you how far along you are.

GOOD LUCK...you may have read that I will have no internet access from Sat-Wed (on hols in the sticks!) so I feel excited about logging on next week to see your result!!