Reposting these because they make me laugh and I miss the old Ronnie.
Danielle: Why did you never marry?
Ronnie: The same reason I never swallowed cyanide.
Waiter to Ronnie: Would you like some more water?'
Ronnie: Oh go on then, seeing as it's my hen do!
Ronnie: She was crying.
Roxy: Yeah I had noticed, I just couldn't match your sprint to the cot.
Ronnie: It's called motherhood. I'll get you a book on it babe.
Ronnie to Fatboy: If you call me babygirl one more time, your 'bluds' will be retrieving your decks from where the sun don't shine!
Roxy: Ronnie, I'm dying.
Ronnie: Well we live in hope.
R&R on baby Richard;
Roxy: Well is he cute?
Ronnie: If anybody asks you this, I will deny it, but he looks like he's taken a few whacks with the ugly stick. Looks like a mini Shrek!
Roxy: This orange juice tastes funny.
Ronnie: That's because there's no vodka in it.
Roxy: Oh right.
Roxy: What on earth was I drinking?
Ronnie: Try what you werent drinking it's a shorter list!
Roxy: I can take care of myself.
Ronnie: That is how you got pregnant in the first place.
Roxy: Where's my card Ron, in the post?
Ronnie: No, still in the shop actually...
Ronnie: Oh the mans offering us a deal, but I think the real reason he came here is to stare down my top!
Archie to Ronnie: What were you trying to achieve?
Ronnie: Enough stress to induce a cardiac arrest hopefully.
Ronnie: I'd get on my knees but these jeans are designer!
Roxy: Ron, what's a simple fraction?
Ronnie: Oh, I'd say it's the part of your brain that actually works.
Ronnie to Sean: I've seen cleaner tramps.
Ronnie on Roxy: I'm not a prostitute, I can't speak for her!
Ronnie to Roxy: I knew you would screw things up. This is what happens when you think for yourself!
The will reading, Roxy looks upwards and whispers "thank you".
Ronnie says: "don't know why your looking up there!"