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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 3)
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whatever54
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by fitnessqueen:
“The thing is she claims she is deaf and cannot hear the upper registers yet last year she was in a nightclub talking to young girls above the "deafening" music....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...struction.html”

HAHA she worked in fashion for Marie Claire etc but never tried alcohol until she was 42. Pull the other one Liz it's got glistening bells on it FFS.
I am losing track can someone help me out with her issues....the next story will be how she was an alcoholic & her troubles and she'll conveniently forget all that she has said before.
newbaby
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by fitnessqueen:
“Any article penned by La Brick will contain the following:-
1. I'm beautiful.
2. I used to earn a six figure salary doing a VERY IMPORTANT job.
3. I am married to a misogynistic French t**t who looks like a Village People cast off.

Job done.”

BIB - has made my day!
newbaby
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by jerseyporter:
“I totally agree - for once, something actually worth saying and writing an article about, but sadly it will be pulled apart for all the wrong reasons instead of being taken notice of for all the right ones.”

Jerseyporter: your earlier post (so eloquent, thoughtful and sensible) about a disability which is hugely isolating, even if one suffers from hearing impairment rather than acute or profound deafness, and the one quoted above sums it up.

It was an article worth writing BUT the way in which it was written, and with the writer's track record for fabrication and turning most things into "me", rather than writing from experience without the mecentric aspect, rather backfired (obviously that's only my opinion).

So, it could have been an eye-opener for those whose hearing is stereophonic surround sound. But the tone, to me, rather trivialised something which has a dramatic impact on day-to-day life.

In a nutshell, it's like Matilda crying fire: when push comes to shove, who is going to believe it? And, as aside, why on earth did LJ not have this checked out years ago?

Haven't put this awfully well.
Paula Panzer
21-05-2012
How long will the DM keep paying Samantha Brick to say the same thing? She has an even more limited repertoire than Madam Jones.
wonkeydonkey
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by Paula Panzer:
“How long will the DM keep paying Samantha Brick to say the same thing? She has an even more limited repertoire than Madam Jones.”

Oh far more, and whereas there are people with a soft spot for Jones there are none for the ludicrous Brick. I can never decide where Liz Jones stands in the Liz Jones game; presumably she knows that she is regarded as a national joke, and accepts this as a trade off for all the money, but it is hard to see how much she plays up to it. Especially with the invisible rock star - is she in on the joke or not? Sometimes I think she is and sometimes I think she isn't. It keeps us entertained anyway.

But Brick is so obviously a creation of the Mail (who allegedly more or less dictated what they wanted from the first column), and is so one-dimensionally fatuous that there is nothing interesting to debate. Once you have got over "she's not especially good looking" there is nothing left really.
StressMonkey
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by wonkeydonkey:
“Oh far more, and whereas there are people with a soft spot for Jones there are none for the ludicrous Brick. I can never decide where Liz Jones stands in the Liz Jones game; presumably she knows that she is regarded as a national joke, and accepts this as a trade off for all the money, but it is hard to see how much she plays up to it. Especially with the invisible rock star - is she in on the joke or not? Sometimes I think she is and sometimes I think she isn't. It keeps us entertained anyway.

But Brick is so obviously a creation of the Mail (who allegedly more or less dictated what they wanted from the first column), and is so one-dimensionally fatuous that there is nothing interesting to debate. Once you have got over "she's not especially good looking" there is nothing left really.”

So, are we saying Liz is better looking and more intellegent than (a) Brick? Talk about damning with faint praise
Paula Panzer
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by wonkeydonkey:
“Oh far more, and whereas there are people with a soft spot for Jones there are none for the ludicrous Brick. I can never decide where Liz Jones stands in the Liz Jones game; presumably she knows that she is regarded as a national joke, and accepts this as a trade off for all the money, but it is hard to see how much she plays up to it. Especially with the invisible rock star - is she in on the joke or not? Sometimes I think she is and sometimes I think she isn't. It keeps us entertained anyway.

But Brick is so obviously a creation of the Mail (who allegedly more or less dictated what they wanted from the first column), and is so one-dimensionally fatuous that there is nothing interesting to debate. Once you have got over "she's not especially good looking" there is nothing left really.”

Yes, at least Liz gives us something to debate, while once you've read one of La Brick's columns you're read them all and there really is nothing more to say.
ccmc
21-05-2012
I THOUGHT that Liz might want to be waxed to remove the white hair in a number of places . . . thank you! I've been looking for similar things to develop in the sparse remains of my personal thicket. It is only a matter of time; the eyebrows are going that way . . .

I know that Liz regards it as a breach of her human rights to be asked to put her bag on the floor at any point, which mystifies me a bit: the point of a bag--one point, at least--is that it protects things inside from dirt. She objects to putting it down when she goes through security at an airport (or claims she does); when it's time for takeoff or landing, does she insist on it having its own seat, fiercely hold it in her lap, or shove it under the seat in front of her WHERE ICKY PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE PUT THEIR FEET??? I suspect the latter, and I suspect that she doesn't actually make a fuss about it. But then I suspect that a lot of her outrage is manufactured.

If Liz behaves the way she claims to, she really wouldn't be able to travel in trains or planes. At the very least, people would pull out their phones and make videos of her tirades towards flight assistants, security people, and fellow passengers, and they'd go viral within hours. That's what happens when someone decides to lose it big-time in public, especially if a celebrity or person who thinks she's a celebrity goes berserk. (Either that or someone punches the human cesspool who behaves this way.)

I think these episodes when brave campaigning "feminist" Liz rips holes into other people are the wishful thinking of a truly nasty piece of work, And if Liz is a feminist, we are all one-legged pirates wearing eye patches. She just doesn't have the qualifications, any more than I have an eye patch and a parrot.

Liz, if by some strange chance you are reading this, not that we believe she'd check anything here: if you're traveling and your bag needs an extra seat to its little old lonesome, well heavens, why would you plant it on a seat next to yourself, a seat where a small child in a diaper might once have sat, for all you know?? I mean, think about it!! Here's a solution: take two large plastic bags you've carried clothes home from a shop in, preferably ones that say "Prada" on the side. Place your handbag inside of one. There you go! You can put it on the floor! Your holy bag is protected!!

Take the other, place it over your head, and ask your seatmate to twist the opening closed as tightly as he or she possibly can. There you go! You won't have to breathe the nasty old air that other people may have had in their icky male, maternal, or feral child lungs!!
Anastasia333
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by morecowbell:
“Does anyone know where I can read this weeks dreary? Its still not available online at the DM and I really need a good laugh ”

Sorry if someone else has already said this (I only have time to pop in and out of the thread occasionally) but it's available now on the MOS site.

It looks like she's starting to "get rid" of the RS, in her own inimitable way. Maybe she's been threatened with a law suit from the likely candidates if she doesn't shut her miserable mouth.
wonkeydonkey
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by ccmc:
“If Liz behaves the way she claims to, she really wouldn't be able to travel in trains or planes. At the very least, people would pull out their phones and make videos of her tirades towards flight assistants, security people, and fellow passengers, and they'd go viral within hours. That's what happens when someone decides to lose it big-time in public, especially if a celebrity or person who thinks she's a celebrity goes berserk. (Either that or someone punches the human cesspool who behaves this way.)”

Yes, I really do think all those snippy comebacks are fantasy. There is part of her that likes the thought of being 'feisty', and since she is nothing of the kind, she writes a script. You are right, a lot of these supposed tirades are described as being in public, and no one has ever seen any of them.
DylanCat
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by wonkeydonkey:
“Yes, I really do think all those snippy comebacks are fantasy. There is part of her that likes the thought of being 'feisty', and since she is nothing of the kind, she writes a script. You are right, a lot of these supposed tirades are described as being in public, and no one has ever seen any of them.”

I agree. I think she is a bully and like most bullies,she is a coward. I think she will be rude,probably downright nasty to someone she thinks won't,or can't answer back, like a shop assistant or waiter. When it comes to scenarios like the one she described on the train,I believe it's all in her imagination,like so much in her life.
Seabird
21-05-2012
Originally Posted by DylanCat:
“I agree. I think she is a bully and like most bullies,she is a coward. I think she will be rude,probably downright nasty to someone she thinks won't,or can't answer back, like a shop assistant or waiter. When it comes to scenarios like the one she described on the train,I believe it's all in her imagination,like so much in her life.”

I think Liz retrospectively writes what she wished she had been 'brave' enough to say at the time of events (not that they are big or clever in retrospect!). It's like when she is on TV, radio, college debates etc. She is embarrassing with her lack of knowledge on any subject she is asked about and usually does no more than give a whispered bitchy snipe at the interviewer. A few days later when she writes in length about her version of events, she always claims to have dominated procedings but badly edited or talked over or of course not heard the question. These days there is virtually zero tolerance for bad behaviour on public transport, if she'd taken my seat and been gobby about it I wouldn't have hesitated in reporting her, but strangely no one ever does, regardless of how vile she is.
ccmc
22-05-2012
I'm entirely deaf in one ear, and think perhaps Liz does indeed have serious hearing problems of some kind. I missed out on all the fun of trying hearing aids because my specialist told me that given my particular form of deafness, "It'd drive you nuts." Gave that a miss, then . . . . As has been mentioned, if she's not deaf she would have to have done a great deal of research in order to write her recent column about hearing aids; and as we know, Liz is not actually capable of doing research into anything whatsoever. Wouldn't understand the concept.
ccmc
22-05-2012
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/medi...squote-twitter

She can't help some of this, but . . . what a strange photo. She's got a diamond-shaped face here, with the pronounced pointy chin and the weirdly high forehead; is she missing hair in the area toward the top centre here? She's got Bob Hope's nose (my, I'm dating myself), and the tattooed bits are weirdly shiny, like freshly-applied black shoe polish. The whole face is shiny, in fact, and this is far from the only time we've seen that. Why, oh why be so shiny?? Has the time-honoured idea of powdering one's nose gone out of style? Presumably this is the look she is going for--but what cosmetics does she use if they give the impression of being nothing more than baby oil plus eye makeup??

Liz is fond of this chipper, cheery grin . . . unaware that no one wants to see quite so much of Liz Jones's upper gums.
wonkeydonkey
22-05-2012
Originally Posted by ccmc:
“I'm entirely deaf in one ear, and think perhaps Liz does indeed have serious hearing problems of some kind. I missed out on all the fun of trying hearing aids because my specialist told me that given my particular form of deafness, "It'd drive you nuts." Gave that a miss, then . . . . As has been mentioned, if she's not deaf she would have to have done a great deal of research in order to write her recent column about hearing aids; and as we know, Liz is not actually capable of doing research into anything whatsoever. Wouldn't understand the concept.”

Actually, apart from the inevitable air of me-me-me-I'm-so-special I thought the hearing aids column was ok. In the hands of someone less irritating it would have been quite a helpful guide as to what to expect.
Originally Posted by ccmc:
“http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/medi...squote-twitter

She can't help some of this, but . . . what a strange photo. She's got a diamond-shaped face here, with the pronounced pointy chin and the weirdly high forehead; is she missing hair in the area toward the top centre here? She's got Bob Hope's nose (my, I'm dating myself), and the tattooed bits are weirdly shiny, like freshly-applied black shoe polish. The whole face is shiny, in fact, and this is far from the only time we've seen that. Why, oh why be so shiny?? Has the time-honoured idea of powdering one's nose gone out of style? Presumably this is the look she is going for--but what cosmetics does she use if they give the impression of being nothing more than baby oil plus eye makeup??

Liz is fond of this chipper, cheery grin . . . unaware that no one wants to see quite so much of Liz Jones's upper gums.”

It's odd that someone willing to spend an almost infinite amount of money on her looks is so impervious to advice about what suits her. A simple make-under with softer hair and eye make up would make all the difference; it seems pointless to spend tens of thousands of pounds on 'treatments' then ruin everything by choosing this wicked witch styling. Since her teeth are so white and even she has obviously also spent many thousands of pounds at the dentist. No doubt he or she could address the gummy look - at my dentist the waiting room is full of before and after pictures of people showing acres of gum - but again, she obviously likes what she has. At least she hasn't gone for sausage like lip implants like a lot of silly women.
DylanCat
22-05-2012
Originally Posted by ccmc:
“http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/medi...squote-twitter

She can't help some of this, but . . . what a strange photo. She's got a diamond-shaped face here, with the pronounced pointy chin and the weirdly high forehead; is she missing hair in the area toward the top centre here? She's got Bob Hope's nose (my, I'm dating myself), and the tattooed bits are weirdly shiny, like freshly-applied black shoe polish. The whole face is shiny, in fact, and this is far from the only time we've seen that. Why, oh why be so shiny?? Has the time-honoured idea of powdering one's nose gone out of style? Presumably this is the look she is going for--but what cosmetics does she use if they give the impression of being nothing more than baby oil plus eye makeup??

Liz is fond of this chipper, cheery grin . . . unaware that no one wants to see quite so much of Liz Jones's upper gums.”

No,no she's not shiny,she's youthful and dewy! *snigger*
ccmc
22-05-2012
Originally Posted by wonkeydonkey:
“It's odd that someone willing to spend an almost infinite amount of money on her looks is so impervious to advice about what suits her. A simple make-under with softer hair and eye make up would make all the difference; it seems pointless to spend tens of thousands of pounds on 'treatments' then ruin everything by choosing this wicked witch styling.”

Exactly! She pays to look like this? I'm far from expert with cosmetics, so could someone help me out? Having lost much of the outer bits of my eyebrows to thyroid disease (who knew that was a symptom??) I find myself thinking "Wouldn't an eyebrow pencil be more entrancing than the boot-black shiny tattooed eyebrows?" That and "Can't she find a foundation that doesn't oil up?" I seem to recollect her saying that she was turned down for modelling because she had spots, so perhaps oily skin is a continuing problem, but does it need to look THIS oily, despite cosmetics? If so, why doesn't she say "Just let me apply powder" before the DM photographers snap a pic?

I have never knowingly had the experience of speaking to someone who had her eyebrows tattooed on. It doesn't seem to be what people do in California, which isn't to say that tattooing is therefore bad: lots of things done in California are bizarre (and Jordan seems to do them all). I think tattooed eyebrows--or anyway, Liz's tattooed eyebrows--would be awfully distracting. I can imagine beginning to talk to her and thinking "What is going on with her eyebrows??" and losing focus on her.
DorisMorris
22-05-2012
Ye olde LJ : Somalia: How One Twitter User Rallied Critics Of Daily Mail And Liz Jones To Raise £25k For East Africa Appeal
Quote:
“.....
Why is the Daily Mail a good target for this type of satire?

They're good targets because they are kind of parodies in themselves. I mean, the Daily Mail is not as right wing as people seem to think, but it knows how to get attention. And while I don't find their news so offensive, I do find the commentary offensive. It seems like they are deliberately pushing buttons and goading people. They deliberately mislead their readers. They avoid facts, change information… Richard Littlejohn famously is capable of quoting a reader's letter that says something has happened, and then writing an entire article about the fact that Christmas is being cancelled. Again... I find their factually dubious reporting worthy of parody and a little bit offensive.

Is Liz Jones a new obsession or have you followed her for a while?

She is a character, and she plays a character in her columns. I can't believe she is really as obnoxious as she comes across. And there is nothing wrong with playing that character, but when you take it out into the real world you have to be a bit careful with how it's portrayed. Sending her to Glastonbury is quite amusing. But when you start seeing if she can live on benefits, it just seems a little bit distasteful. And the idea of sending her to Somalia is just crass. That situation deserves more respect. It deserves a more serious approach. ....


How much have you raised?

We've just made it, as of Saturday morning, over £25,500 including gift aid. Which is phenomenal....


Do you find it difficult writing in the voice of your satirical Liz Jones persona?

Well, I'm not a mean person. And it was quite difficult in the first few days when I got a lot of Tweets from people who didn't know it was a joke. The humour is really close to the bone, and it could seem offensive to some people. And that was difficult. But I think satire should cut so close to the bone that it should burn the edges of it. If you're not versed in Twitter-speak, and aren't able to read between the lines you could miss the point and I understand that. Or if you're not a big English-speaker. I had quite a few people from Somalia get in touch with me and asking 'why are you doing this?' and as often as possible I would explain that my intention wasn't to insult their culture, and that if they gave me a few days it would all become clear. But on the other side two-thirds of people at least got it.

Do you think the criticism of Liz Jones' work can sometimes be unfair?

I think it can be very unfair, certainly, but she goes out her way to invite it sometimes. Just as I tried very hard not to make the famine the butt of any jokes, I tried also not to be malicious towards her. I really just wanted to play on the public character that she puts out. Everything I've ever referenced or claimed that she has said or done has come from stuff she's already published. If you've read her NHS article - if someone is going to write that, with that supreme arrogance, they need to be brought down a peg or two.

Do you get sick of reading her work for research?

I'll be honest with you - I'll be happy when the week is out. But you can take it with a pinch of salt. I just don't think she's real. I think she's trying to deliberately rile people, and is very good at it, and is paid to create controversy… The daily burst of hate the Daily Mail gives you allows you to feel better about yourself........”

Habibti
23-05-2012
I really enjoyed Liz Jones' article where she took someone else's pre-booked seat on the train and then became all stroppy when said gentleman wished to sit in his pre-booked seat. Classic Liz Jones with sense of entitlement, made up insults etc. I suppose my only question is whether Liz Jones is on the joke and writes only to provoke - or whether she believes she is behaving in an acceptable way and expects us to nod approvingly as we read...

Whenever I sit in someone else's pre-booked seat on a train journey, I'm on alert to move and courteously apologise if / when that person turns up. And when I pre-book, yes, I always book a window seat if available. Nice view, can lean against something, and not disturbed by people visiting toilet / buffet car.

******

On the deafness article, the only thing that amused me was the number of pictures of her in the online version showing her being tested etc. What is the fascination with showing pictures of her? Wonder what is Daily Mail requested and what is Liz Jones suggested...
wonkeydonkey
23-05-2012
Originally Posted by Habibti:
“On the deafness article, the only thing that amused me was the number of pictures of her in the online version showing her being tested etc. What is the fascination with showing pictures of her? Wonder what is Daily Mail requested and what is Liz Jones suggested...”

yes, that's very true. It makes her column read like one of those 'celebrity' columns beloved of things like OK magazine where we get to see people like Kerry Katona posing - well I have just looked at this week's - with some astonishingly ghastly hair extensions. Which suggests that the Mail see LJ as 'product' along the same lines as Katona, Price etc.
ccmc
23-05-2012
It's just occurred to me that for all her claims of deafness, Liz seems perfectly capable of appearing on morning TV and answering questions (or butting in when she hears someone say something she disagrees with). There's no "What? Pardon? I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Sometimes her answers are astonishingly odd, but I don't think that happens because Liz is partially deaf. I think it happens because Liz is astonishingly odd. She responds to what is said, not what she thinks has been said. She doesn't seem partially deaf at all.

Liz does sometimes look rather startled, and as though she's having difficulty realizing what the other person is saying. That can be an effect of poor hearing, but I actually think that her startled, deer in the headlights look comes from her astonishment that someone is actually disagreeing with her or doubting her. How dare anyone question her sperm-stealing!

The recent interview about sperm stealing in which a psychologist who is rather more attractive than Liz challenges her shows Liz responding immediately to questions put to her. When she decides she's deaf she writes about not being able to understand other people and having the TV at its highest decibel level in order to hear Sex and the City. But much of the time she goes through life with an apparent ability to understand what is said to her immediately. (I love it that they got an attractive female psychologist who disagreed with her almost violently. So much for being the voice of women everywhere, eh Liz?)

I particularly love this bit from the article about her recent train trip: "'But I sat here so that when you got on, I wouldn’t have to move. You can sit here.' And I moved my Michael Kors." Well, yes. Let's by all means arrange the world so that Liz Jones never has to get up from a seat on the train and let someone else sit down too. That's ever so important. Has she tried this particular stunt on a plane? That would be interesting.
Stockingfiller
23-05-2012
I call it the 'Proper Little Madam 'syndrome. It's a mixture of immaturity, self centredness and imperiousness, tinged with helplessness. It's forgivable and understandable in a toddler but can be pretty annoying in anyone old enough to know better.

If you've ever spent time with someone remotely like this you'll know what I mean. They order everyone around, expecting them to be servants. Yet when something goes wrong, due to their behaviour, they fall back on the ' poor little me' thing. It's exhausting for anyone in contact with that.

Occasionally reading Liz Jones's stuff reminds me of people I've known who are similar. It's all about increasing their own self esteem regardless of much else. Everything, is always someone else's fault. Not much goes right, for them, apparently.

Well, not a lot goes well for all of us. We all 'keep calm and carry on' ie enjoying good things, trying to deal with bad things and getting on with it. I find the theme of ' Fate has attacked ME again !' to be too negative and rather unhealthy psychologically.

I find it rather insulting to women generally that Liz Jones gets paid a lot, for presenting an image of women via herself, as being so absolutely b. awful.
cathrin
23-05-2012
Originally Posted by Stockingfiller:
“I call it the 'Proper Little Madam 'syndrome. It's a mixture of immaturity, self centredness and imperiousness, tinged with helplessness. It's forgivable and understandable in a toddler but can be pretty annoying in anyone old enough to know better.

If you've ever spent time with someone remotely like this you'll know what I mean. They order everyone around, expecting them to be servants. Yet when something goes wrong, due to their behaviour, they fall back on the ' poor little me' thing. It's exhausting for anyone in contact with that.

Occasionally reading Liz Jones's stuff reminds me of people I've known who are similar. It's all about increasing their own self esteem regardless of much else. Everything, is always someone else's fault. Not much goes right, for them, apparently.

Well, not a lot goes well for all of us. We all 'keep calm and carry on' ie enjoying good things, trying to deal with bad things and getting on with it. I find the theme of ' Fate has attacked ME again !' to be too negative and rather unhealthy psychologically.

I find it rather insulting to women generally that Liz Jones gets paid a lot, for presenting an image of women via herself, as being so absolutely b. awful.”

Spot on. There's something really unpleasant about the way she goes around being spiteful and bullying and gratuitously rude, but constantly tries to play the victim. In almost every situation she recounts, she is clearly the one at fault, yet she tells the story with a sense of wide-eyed outrage....Readers, can you believe the horrid man had the cheek to object when I sat in the seat he'd pre-booked? Isn't it outrageous that the nasty doctor's receptionist wouldn't give in to my demands for an urgent appointment when I hadn't been organised enough to arrange my jabs before travelling? Aren't the mortgage lenders beastly for expecting me to pay my mortgage? Nasty tax man for making me pay my big tax bill! Horrid friends and acquaintances for getting the hump when I broadcast their private business in print!

It goes on and on...and all the time she's going around stamping her foot and trying to present herself as some sort of feminist champion for us women to admire and respect. And when anyone dares to challenge her, she immediately resorts to ill-mannered and childish personal insults (...interestingly, her supporters do the exact same thing when they come to these threads) and casting out snide accusations about their relationships. All marriages apparently consist of a bullying lazy wife and a hen-pecked emasculated husband, in LJ world. Er, no, they don't, Liz, please don't project this twisted view of the world onto normal people for whom marriage = a mutually respectful and supportive partnership!)
fitnessqueen
25-05-2012
[
Quote:
“QUOTE=ccmc;58380643

Liz does sometimes look rather startled, and as though she's having difficulty realizing what the other person is saying.”

[/quote]

Probably because she can no longer shut her eyes.....
Lukey37
26-05-2012
First she dressed up Kate Middleton, then the Queen and now Jessie J

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...-Lizzie-J.html
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