"But there’s one important thing we do have in common — apart from both having been born in Essex — and that is a good, strong head of black hair."

Eh? Her hair is nothing like Jessie J's!

"the short skirts and exposed sweaty cleavage of compere Holly Willoughby"

Still smarting from your encounter Liz?

Her hair has NEVER been so shiny people mistoke it for a wig! Ha!

Anyhoo the long and short of it is she will shave her head if we raise £100,000 for "her" charity, The Brooke.

Ladies and Gents.....lets get pledging!

Wonderful! I do hope she manages to make the target.

Otherwise, I really don't see the point of these articles. Liz Jones has access to hairdressers, make-up artists and wardrobe departments that can dress her up in her idea of someone else's image. And there's a photographer. So what? She doesn't look anything like the women she is trying to emulate (she does admit as much this time) and the bottom line is that it's only a vehicle for Liz to say what she thinks of the way others look and to get numerous photos of her printed. For a woman with a poor self-image she's no shrinking violet.

At least she isn't hurting anyone doing these pieces and staying away from her offensive Jo Yeates and Somalia type articles.

I think she's found her niche as an object of ridicule playing dress up.

More like a [re]tired Princess Leia...

The word "simpering" springs to mind... right along with the phrase "WTF ?"

Think that might be a tad optimistic as so far donations totalling £35 Might be better for her to donate her very large fee for writing the article...never misses an opportunity to make money out of old rope!!!

Only £35 raised so far.

Be interesting to see whether she can raise as much as the fake Liz Jones did on her twitter account for Somalia. I doubt it, given the different profiles of the causes (starving human being -v- ill-treated donkeys).

Her articles increasingly seem to be showing a sense of awareness as if she is reading Digital Spy - eg her sticking out ears, her witch like hair etc

Funnily enough, I thought she looked better in her JJ styles than her own - just goes to show how unflattering her current style is

I haven't read her column for years but used to avidly and occasionally read your observations on here. I'm posting 'cos I wondered whether anyone knew what car she now drives - has she ever mentioned it recently? - because I swear I saw her last Sunday at an antiques fair. I loitered in the car park and watched her drive off so I'm hoping someone will know to confirm that it was indeed her (or an unfortunate lookalike),

Another £2.50 for the donkeys has come flooding in since your post.

I already donate to The Brooke so don't feel I have to let LJ think she's any good as a fundraiser! Incidentally, I know they're not people, but these poor horses and donkeys really could do with some help.

What I don't like about this piece's association with Brooke is her sudden volte face about the donkey owners - the original was so scathing of them and lacking any empathy that I almost stopped donating to Brook in protest.

As above, won't be donating through Liz's appeal. I hope anyone wanting to donate to Brooke will do so directly and not encourage Liz. We do not want another article on her s*dding hair.

Though the alternative will probably be an article about how awful we all are for not donating to her appeal & we all hate donkeys.

It's been running for a relatively short time, but still . . . she's got a whacking total of 37 pounds 50p from something like 4 contributors. The truth is, my charity dollars go elsewhere, but if I intended to contribute I'd do so directly to the foundation, not via Liz's page. I'd do that because this strikes me as another blatant attempt to get readers on her side: "Look, I'm charitable! People think I'm funny and love me!"

What this rip-roarin' total proves so far, at least, is that

1. People don't actually read all the way to the bottom of Liz's articles. (I can't bear to myself, a lot of the time. It's the comments here and below her column that I read for pleasure.) Or they don't read anything but the headline, and then skip to the latest crop of cringe-inducing pictures of Liz making a donkey's behind of herself. The best-rated comments don't seem to mention the charity at all, perhaps because readers flew right past that in their haste to say "You look like a fool, Liz." Can't really blame them, she's not a pleasurable read.

2. A headline like "My hair-raising day as Lizzie J: Captivated by Jessie J's ever-changing hair on The Voice, LIZ JONES has her most unlikely make-over" and a bunch of picture of Liz Jones making a fool of herself are NOT sensible ways to announce "Here's a charity you should consider contributing to." If she's a journalist and if she truly wanted to raise money, surely she'd have the sense to realize that? (Sorry, there's me fantasizing that Liz Jones has sense and can write in ways that work positively for her.)

3. Perhaps the vast majority of her readers simply don't want to do ANYTHING that looks like supporting one of Liz's causes, no matter how worthy it is.

4. Some of us think that she should get her Famous Rock Star pal to cough up some dough, since he must have made more in the course of his life than we do, and he supposedly likes her.

Is it reasonable to say that years ago, before she'd insulted and alienated so many people, she might actually have raised money in this way? The site allows us to see exactly how many people have contributed. Pathetic.

I'm trying to imagine what she expected: readers would contribute scads of money and she would have her hair cut (or shaved), and we'd all enjoy the endless pictures of the haircut and the results? It's not looking that way. It's looking more like a total humiliation . . . if it's YOU who's doing the asking, Liz, no one cares. Pudsey the Bear is running away, screaming "NO! NO! IF SHE TRIES TO HELP YOU KNOW SHE'LL KILL OFF DONATIONS FOR HOURS!!!" Not that Liz would be interested in helping Pudsey.

The more I see these pictures of Liz pretending to be the Duchess of C, the Queen, and now this odd-looking woman, the more I imagine I'm hearing her say "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. de Mille."

Well, I'd have expected Liz to donate her salary for the article, her RS b/f to donate*, and all those people who flooded her with money when she was soooo poor to contribute. And all her fans. She's convinced she is popular - so this will be interesting to see if she really is. After all, she castigated people when her 'handbag' for charity didn't sell for as much as others.

*Although, since it looks like she's parting ways with the RS judging from her Dreary entries.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, DT. imho LJ's more charitably inclined readers have been left with a few trust issues following Liz Aid/The Great Whip-round:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/ma...ed-cash-offers

She's up to 52 quid. I may be forced to donate to get her a decent haircut......

This. Thumbs up.

Up to £72.50

The bucks (or rather pounds) just keep on coming. I think she's up to something like a hundred plus now. No need to get out the clipper yet, friends! I have a feeling that this is a surprise only to Liz. (I also have a feeling that Liz may have donated a bit--a small bit, considering her income--just to prop things up. But of course she has no credit card . . . how you book a flight with no credit card is beyond me, but she says she did).

This week's Diary is titled "In Which I Squirm, No, Thrash about in Order to Get Out of a Plot Hole Involving a Man I Made Up and Save Face, Granted that My Readers Have Caught On that He Doesn't Exist." And--here's a surprise--it's all his fault. I mean, how serious is plastering emails you promised to keep private all over the Daily Mail, compared to the quiet and private shagging of some woman AFTER you discover your supposed beloved blurted not one, not two, but scads of your "private" emails at her readership. In Liz's world, blabbering about his emails again and again, no matter how many times he asked her not to, is trivial compared to the shagging. In my world I'd normally agree; blabbingyour beloved's emails to your girlfriends is a less serious matter. Blabbing them to the readers of the Mail? Sorry, it's massively worse. It's not as if he hasn't said that it's a deal breaker. And it's not as if he hasn't given her some indications that he doesn't want her to come out to Australia (the heartless bastard, it's HIS fault she won't be visiting her dying nephew! Because a mere dying nephew isn't reason enough! Only a FRS boyfriend makes the trip worth while!

Not that there is a FRS who has a cheat sheet for her cats' names. etc. etc. etc. And not that she has a dying nephew who cannot rest easy until Aunt Liz turns up by his bedside. I mean, my nephews actually LIKE me, but I suspect that my absence wouldn't be heartbreaking. "It would have been really good to see her" would be about it, I fear.

Liz has simply had to find some way to end the Famous Rock Star Farce and sees this as a strategy, imagining that her readers will all be on her side and think he's a total stinkeroo. I think any actual, living man who put up with the vividly unpleasant, man-hating Liz Jones for dinner even once deserves our admiration and sympathy.

So what the Diary boils down to is: I published private emails that he specifically asked me not to; following his telling me not to visit him in Australia because of this, I find out he's shagging someone else; he is betraying me. (??!! - In the words of Victor Meldrew, I don't believe it!). As ccmc says, telling your closest friends is one thing, publishing in a national newspaper is a whole different ballgame. Even as a work of fiction Liz cannot create a real, adult relationship, but behaves as a teenager might.

And there are 2 other Liz articles today. I wonder if she is doing a 'get 3 for the price of two' ?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/ar...e-Lagarde.html
and
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...ikes-sees.html

I'll bet whatever the Queen thinks when she looks in the mirror , she'll be relieved that she doesn't look like Liz Jones!

Good god she really is a horrible horrible thing isn't she.
She hates everyone and everything and wonders why she is miserable.
I must stop reading her stuff it makes me feel quite stabby.

LJ is probably the world's worst reporter. So, she attends the F1 Grand Prix in Monaco. And says absolutely nothing about the event itself. Instead we get the usual 'I hate sport' & 'jockeys are nasty little men' crud which is easily churned out in Exmoor/London.
Which it probably has been.

Yes, I fail to see the point of telling us she is there to see the Grand Prix and then saying not a single word about it. Why should any newspaper send a self-proclaimed sport hater to report on any sporting event? Do they do it to wind up their readers?

As for criticising the woman of Monaco for, among other things, their 'vertiginous heels', I'd have thought, having seen pictures of the shoes she wears, she'd have been full of praise. But wait, everyone else is only there to provide a platform for criticism. She's a slave to fashion, but anyone else who is is an open target for her.

And by the way Liz, many jockeys have a close relationship with the horses they ride in races, which they also ride at exercise. They are not all nasty little men.

now at £196...

I'm sure Radcliffe is pleased with her remarks.