No, seriously, penelope; can you be specific and mention a number of the things that make you enjoy Liz's writing? Those of us who aren't so enamored are genuinely mystified and tend to feel that so much of what she writes is bitter and hostile and/or full of self-righteousness and self-pity that it's hard to see past all of that, frankly. Her attitude towards people she encounters are painful to read about, and her inability to train and protect the animals in her care also leaves us wondering if she is in any real sense an animal lover (as opposed to someone who would like to be admired for rescuing animals she doesn't train or take care of). So please let us know about some specific things you've enjoyed in her work; how can we agree with you if we don't understand the sort of specific things you admire in her work?

So, she's back living in London?

A whole new drama for her. I'd suggest...Sainsbury's in Camden will thrill her...a trip to Brixton Market for coffee and a hopeful mugging...Brixton has a windmill, something to add while taking photos of how she looked, pre-Brixton..

... Liz, is that you???

A mite more witty than Liz I feel who does nothing but pump out the same old recycled stuff week on week. I'm with other FM's and would be interested to see you cite some examples of why you enjoy her writing so much.

'The army is full of privates' eh?/ay? Liz certainly has hers waxed enough, and she tells the world about it when she does.

Rather hypocritical of you to slag people off for criticising Liz when you appear to do it quite a lot to Holly Willoughby too.

If LJ is unable to find an artisan bakery selling bread at £10 a loaf, this will be traumatic enough on its own.

Only if it's Illy coffee and the mugger's wearing buttery soft Prada.....

I made the error of reading the dreary today (stupid me)

Why won't she allow her poor mother some dignity?
She could say her mum is old and frail without publishing details

If I was one of her siblings I would be absolutely livid,

Forgot that this is the woman who was pleased that her mum had dementia so she wouldn't reveal LJ's age.

I'm awaiting Penelope's critique of today's Dreary - perhaps she would be kind enough to point out the parts she considers "pithy", "witty" and "enjoyable"......

It's witty and pithy to rub your own sister and mothers' status in the dirt.
also funny to be incapable of training your animals.

Welcome to Lazy Journalism 101: use of adjectives to bump up word count in any given article.

leather = buttery soft
children = giant feral
tummy (mother) = porridgey
tummy (non-mother) = ironing-board flat
legs/bikini area = billiard ball smooth
man = posh
me = poor
food = vegan*
illness = borderline OR profound

Finally, any item described must be prefixed by its designer label - eg:
Prada bowling bag
Michael Kors tote
Hanro knickers
BMW convertible
Bottega Veneta handbag
Toast pyjamas
Prada biker boots

*technically, not vegan.

I forgot the giant feral children
How on earth does she resolve that with Holly having young ones?
Well done Fatsia

Gosh, Penelope, you are so right... when it comes to volume, there's no-one to touch our Liz! Mind you, the constant repetition (without checking that she's not contradicting herself), the constant re-telling of the same story but with different payers (the 'dressed as a hag meeting in pub' story has been trotted out three times (so far) with completely different males (including the fictional popstrel boyf), the constant contradictions (I hate the country, I love the country oh, hang on I don't hate it, but I hate the people, except my friends, but I don't have any friends), her crippling shyness... highlighted recently in the "mutton dressed as..." Kardashian puff-piece, the pitiless use of anyone and anything to try and come up with some copy (Dying mother! Bereaved sister!) before resorting to type and shamelessly begging for cash (again). The lies (her Somerset property did not have accredited organic status, she was never shot at etc. etc), her weird off-piste attempts to convince us her house was haunted (interesting move for someone desperate to sell!). The constant stream of bile directed at mothers, working mothers, children, women, anyone working in the service sectors. She is not a journalist, she is a withered, embittered woman who lives a sad, lonely life. All she can do now is bleat about how it's never her fault and try and glean some comfort from bags and baubles. She will leave no legacy or imprint on history... she will have only stolen some oxygen for a few years.

Hi Lady Penelope. I bet you do appreciate you've never been a sheep, particularly one of LJ's. Why, you'd probably have foot rot and a coat so matted it would resemble a veritable cloak of piles. Oh, and not to mention Michael trying to savage you.

Ah. It would seem that, in the style of so many of Lizard's supporters, Penelope doesn't have any examples of actual journalistic talent, quality writing or indeed any redeeming features to set us 'haters' straight. Please, Pen? We'd truly love to be enlightened as to what it is that's so admirable

I started reading a bit of it, then I got bored and turned over.:yawn:

Penny's gone a bit quiet. She's either been watching Crap Factor or wracking her brains as to how she can justify Liz's journalistic talents. I think she'll be gone a long time.

Readers' responses:

and..

Reply:
... nighty night all

Couldn't leave without adding this:

Rachel Johnson interview in the Sat Telegraph mag included this:

"Column writing I think the personal column is over – Liz Jones has killed everyone else off because she’s such a car crash. The fact that your Aga doesn’t light, which is what I used to write about in my Daily Telegraph columns, doesn’t compare to ‘I’ve got a tattoo’ or ‘My boyfriend’s dumped me. ..."

Says it all, really.

I do love this:
"No she isn't. She is the female equivalent of the addled men who used to wander round Glasgow's east end in the 50s flashing their cocks at passers by. The law and social workers dealt with them but who will rid of us Liz Jones? She is completely unreadable - the print equivalent of someone picking an open scab."

I checked in today to see if Penelope had got back to explain what's so admirable about LJ's 'work'. Unless she herself is 'working, tap, tap tapping away' somewhere, she must still be giving it considered thought. I'm not being sarcastic either; I really would like to know what the rest of us are so obviously missing. To give Liz a fair crack of the whip, I re-read yesterday's diary but it still came across as a vehicle in unadulterated self-pity and read like the childish scribblings of a thirteen year old who truly thinks the whole world is against them. No part of it is even vaguely amusing and, as usual, she's bemoaning her 'poverty'. Several months ago, I remember reading that Liz went to see a medium or something. She was told by gypsy Rose Lee that she was about to become incredibly wealthy any time soon. Well, I reckon this charlatan should be exposed - she's bloody rubbish!
Last edited by coldcomfort : 19-11-2012 at 14:42

Charlatan, as in: charging an enormous fee to tell everyone the same old thing, week after week after week.... [etc]? Gypsy Rose sounds pretty iffy, too

Not working hard, having absolutely nothing worthwhile to do, I was fiddling around and discovered that Columnist of the Year is an anagram of The Foulest Acrimony. Do you think someone was taking the p1ss?

I notice you've been a bit quiet of late, Penelope, but I thought that you might be interested to know that the "columnist of the year" is now pulling off two tricks at the same time here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...hits-back.html ... ranting about a Day Without Make-up for Children in Need (self indulgent, anti-women etc). I was a bit bemused as I recall her doing just this in 2009 (for a salary, not charity)! She has also, very cleverly, invented a new word: unequivocably. Not in any dictionary I've got! Still, who needs quality when you have 'volume', eh?
Last edited by CollieComber : 20-11-2012 at 14:26