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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 3)


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Old 20-11-2012, 14:55
Lilaeth
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she's a coumnist, paid to point out things in society. Spitting bile is what the posters on this site do when they do vile stuff about her face, body and personality.
She has a personality???
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Old 20-11-2012, 15:10
fitnessqueen
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She has a personality???
She does- that of a dried up, very bitter lemon....
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Old 20-11-2012, 15:11
Lilaeth
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If an adder bit her, it would die horribly!
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Old 20-11-2012, 17:35
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well there's a surprise (not) the oft-asked question of the Lizzie lovers goes unanswered yet again.
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Old 20-11-2012, 21:04
Becky Sharpe
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.....
Exmoor resident Martin Hesp makes his comment here...

'Not since Carver Doone robbed, pillaged and murdered on Exmoor has anyone been so universally unpopular in the national park as the writer Liz Jones, [/b]who has just quit residing in the hills after five years which she describes as a “prison sentence”.....'.
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Old 20-11-2012, 21:18
Becky Sharpe
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....Columnist of the Year is an anagram of The Foulest Acrimony. Do you think someone was taking the p1ss?
What were the BSME judges on exactly . While the BSME could have made a 'controversial' choice in order to attract attention to the annual awards, the price is loss of credibility. If LJ is really considered to be a paragon of journalism, the UK Magazine industry is truly stuffed!
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:01
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Except how many of you enjoy reading her columns to see how bad they are?
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Old 20-11-2012, 22:26
Becky Sharpe
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Except how many of you enjoy reading her columns to see how bad they are?
Dunno how much it's about 'enjoyment' in any sense, perhaps more a horrified fascination at the huge sums a national newspaper is willing to pay for a stream of recycled guff.
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Old 22-11-2012, 16:38
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I enjoy reading her crumby columns, AdelaideGirl, mainly to check out how much 'effort' she's put in by re-hashing old stuff; ex-husband, fantasy RS's on-off 'love' for her, sister slagging, horses paws, dogs' arses, human prawn fed cats, etc. I especially like it when she goes off at a tangent and starts ranting about something only she could know what she's on about. It's amusing stuff but not, I think, in the way she probably thinks it is. There are far, far better columnists than her, but they're 'safe'. Her diatribes are of the madhouse genre and the comments they provoke usually provide even better reading, so she does serve a purpose of sorts.
When she does a spread on fashion or whatever, and is photoshopped to death in every shot, this 'shy' and silly woman offers even more ghoulish fodder for forums like this. I love it but even if they paid her five quid per article, it would still be £4.99 too much.
There, I've answered for Penelope as I got sick of waiting for her reply.
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Old 22-11-2012, 17:14
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Finally got round to reading this weeks column in the mag - wow, her sister is going to be chuffed again isn't she? In the first paragraph (or two) she's mentioned how she bought her house and bought her nephew's lap top and phone consequently making them sound like right pair of spongers but I would bet my last fiver that there's alot more to it than that. Oh and she made out that they were rude by not having the TV loud enough (no one ever does apparently) so she couldn't hear the X Factor. ( I refuse to believe that this woman would be backwards in coming forwards in telling them to turn the volume up!) Then she proceeds to basically drop her nephew in it as he still has the ex-husband on Facebook so she decided to spy on him to see what he's up to now and is horrified to find a picture of a cat on his profile (such problems Liz, how DO you cope? ) By the end of the column she's wallowing in self pity so much that she compares herself and her problems to her dying mother in that apparently they're both going to be 'homeless' soon.

And she wonders why hardly any of her family talk to her?
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Old 22-11-2012, 18:41
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I finally lost it with her when her diary one awful awful week contained a plaigerised letter from her brother, detailing the sadness of her nephew's tragic death at the age of 21 followed by a harrowing account of his funeral. This is the nephew who she couldn't be arsed to go and visit, despite having recently bought a non-refundable ticket to Australia, where he lived with her sister.

The brother's letter brought me almost to tears, and then the next paragraph of the diary said (almost verbatim) "Anyway, my horse..." and started to rattle on about how one of her poorly-treated 'rescue animals' (need rescuing from her!) had something wrong with its hoof. Except she called it a "paw". She's unbelievably self-obsessed.
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Old 22-11-2012, 21:23
lotty27
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I think that column was the worst ever Fatsia, I remember it well. Diabolical. She's completely self aware but she has no real awareness of other people and their problems. She says the words but you can tell she isn't feeling it - even when it comes to the death of her nephew and her sister's intense grief, to her it's just column fodder.

Once upon a time her column would be my first stop in the whole paper (and there's alot of it! Hubby buys it for the crosswords) but nowadays I'm lucky if I get round to reading it mid-week before it goes in the recycling. Yet this woman won Journalist of the Year? Bewildering
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Old 23-11-2012, 17:11
coldcomfort
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I've twigged where Jones got her inspiration from when she started churning out the Dreary - The Shining.
'All work and no play makes Liz a dull girl.'
If Jack Nicholson could type hundreds of pages repeating the same thing whilst living in a cold, isolated dwelling, and still make a mint, he was obviously on to a winner.
And he was round the twist too.
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Old 23-11-2012, 17:18
sunstone
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I've twigged where Jones got her inspiration from when she started churning out the Dreary - The Shining.
'All work and no play makes Liz a dull girl.'
If Jack Nicholson could type hundreds of pages repeating the same thing, whilst living in a cold, isolated dwelliing, and still make a mint, he was obviously on to a winner.
And he was round the twist too.
REDRUM...well at least thar's one horse she never touched its'
paws

Are the scary twins incontinent collies?

Yes CC you hit the nail on the head with the isolated lunatic writer from the Shining,Does she have the barman too?
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Old 23-11-2012, 17:59
coldcomfort
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Yes, sunstone, the barman will be featured. I've got it on good authority that a sequel to the original film is planned, entitled The Whining. I haven't been able to obtain the full cast list as yet but I'm working on it.
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Old 23-11-2012, 18:02
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Yes, sunstone, the barman will be featured. I've got it on good authority that a sequel to the original film is planned, entitled The Whining. I haven't been able to obtain the full cast list as yet but I'm working on it.
Here's Lizzie
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Old 23-11-2012, 18:04
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Barman should be the local gardener who can't walk fast enough
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Old 23-11-2012, 18:11
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The gardener has already won the part of Delbert Grady but he was hotly contested by Paul Dacre.
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Old 23-11-2012, 18:21
sunstone
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The gardener has already won the part of Delbert Grady but he was hotly contested by Paul Dacre.

sniggers

Liz would be fun in the maze with her designer biker boots

Last edited by sunstone : 23-11-2012 at 18:27. Reason: to keep on topic
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Old 23-11-2012, 20:12
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I now have visions of an elderly gentleman hunched over a hand lawn mower walking slowly down a very long corridor in a hotel, hundreds of doors either side & ghastly white & pink floral wallpaper... lizzie running around him screaming "walk faster"
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Old 23-11-2012, 21:05
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I now have visions of an elderly gentleman hunched over a hand lawn mower walking slowly down a very long corridor in a hotel, hundreds of doors either side & ghastly white & pink floral wallpaper... lizzie running around him screaming "walk faster"
But who will get the tricycle?

I suggest Lowri Turner
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Old 23-11-2012, 23:47
coldcomfort
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Forget Lowri Turner; her days were numbered when GMTV folded. The producers of The Whining have decided the murdered twins will definitely be played by mini puppy and Grace Kelly. Instead of them lying in a pool of blood after Mr. Grady has hacked them up, Danny will discover the girls/dogs prostrate in a pool of stress wee that hopefully LJ will skid in and bang her head on the floor. Enough said.
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Old 24-11-2012, 00:08
sunstone
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Forget Lowri Turner; her days were numbered when GMTV folded. The producers of The Whining have decided the murdered twins will definitely be played by mini puppy and Grace Kelly. Instead of them lying in a pool of blood after Mr. Grady has hacked them up, Danny will discover the girls/dogs prostrate in a pool of stress wee that hopefully LJ will skid in and bang her head on the floor. Enough said.
But who is young Danny? The phantom rockstar is titchy tiny?
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Old 24-11-2012, 00:19
sunstone
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don't want to keep on .but what the heck is stress wee in pets?

It sounds like anxiety and a bad thing,

My best friend does it when she coughs but says it is because she has had four children, but that is a little leak I think?

I have always had cats ( albeit one at a time ) and having a litter tray ,have had few accidents,
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Old 24-11-2012, 01:51
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don't want to keep on .but what the heck is stress wee in pets?
It could be two things - being so scared that they piss themselves, or so insecure that they feel the constant need to mark their territory. They could also not be house broken properly.
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