Happy new year to you, cathrin, and God bless you, one and all. I was unfortunate enough to once work with a woman who displayed characteristics pretty much identical to LJ's. She was a total nightmare and a colleague and I figured that she was suffering from histrionic personality disorder, as she fitted all the criterion down to a T. Awful! That's why I completely doubt LJ has got a man in her life, as the strain/drain these people inflict can be intolerable. And to get it into perspective, what man, who's presumably worth millions with groupies gasping for him, would want to spend his time with a grotesque, needy hag when he doesn't need to? It's time the DM comes clean and admits that the Dreary is a badly written piece of weekly nonsense. Either that, or do a full-page spread of the Lizard and her blow-up doll with a picture of JK's image stuck on its face.

Why does this supposed RS have to remain nameless anyway? Is he embarrassed to be associated with her?

Because he's not actually real

I had my suspicions...http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbvie...ow-up-doll.jpg

Brilliant GF! I finally think we're getting somewhere now.

Do you think she can programme the doll to come out with random scottish phrases?

Aye. 'Awa an bile yer heid, yer Bessie.'
Translation: 'P1ss off and boil your head, you rude, bad-tempered woman.'
LJ's translation: 'I adore you, my Lizzy, you delectable siren.'

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LLvHy3knLZ...00/clint_8.jpg

Girls, I think I've found our man...

http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/w...psa3291bb5.jpg

Well done on tracking him down GF. There's no denying that he's sporting a tattoo of wor Lizzy on his arm.

:d....

Lizard can't make the RS sound Scottish when she's quoting him in her 'column', so I doubt it!

I just will say Cold Comfort..get thee down to the Daily Mail for a job,you are way more entertaining than Jones/Brick et al.

Thank you, sunstone, for the compliment. I think all the posters on this forum are wittier and more honest than La Lizard and it's a shame we can't rake in the kind of brass she does. We should collaborate and write a soap called Rock Star Follies, lightly based on the original Rock Follies from the seventies. The original band, The Little Ladies, would become The Little Old Ladies with Liz at the helm and the beautiful Ms Brick and equally devastating Ms Sibury on backing vocals. The male lead, of course, would go to Jim Kerr, but if that weren't possible, I'm sure Rab C. Nesbitt would be available.
Lizzy could really go for the rock chick she clearly thinks she is, and wear her Jimmy Choo biker boots to give her an edgy image.
Horrid thought: Biker boots + LJ's pins = worms in buckets.

hello to the new posters, Happy New Year to you all may wor Liz continue to provide us with much much merriment, mirth and derision throughout 2013.

Badcat, loved your post - and ColdComfort, excellent as always you have Jizzy down to a tee

I too predict a break-up with the FRS this year but let's not forget he dumped her last Vally's day which in typical Liz fashion has never been mentioned again!

So I'm going for another V-day break-up this year (she's too predictable) with the FRS sailing off into the sunset with a young, lithe, honeyed limbed model-type in her late 20's.

Or, LJ will tell us how she has dumped FRS for FFRS - aka the Fictional French Rock Star. You know how sensitively LJ documents the efforts of newer UK residents to speak English. In which case poor FFRS will sound like Inspector Clouseau/Rene from 'Allo 'Allo! > Must get out more, I know...

Oh lots of comedic "Allo" "what?" "allo" "don't you know I'm deaf you insensitive git" conversations

I suspect RS will be dumped for anonymous multimillionaire who owns half of Yorkshire and we will be sent on the trail of a mysterious but coy aristocrat

Since I'm awake: 'In which nothing happens this week, either'. Ahh that's better... Zzz :yawn::sleep:

Great post! Welcome to the thread


I live in a rural area. The Post Office closes on Wednesday afternoon and Saturday afternoon. The butchers closes when he has sold up for the day. The closest thing we have to a supermarket is a Co-Op smaller than a Tescos Express in some places. We have 4 pubs, most dont do food on a night at this time of year so we have a Fish & Chip shop. Its really not that hard. You go to the shops whilst they are open. Asda deliver out here, so if you want something different, order online.

On the other side of the coin, we are a friendly community. People help the elderly, we have barely any crime, and we can all cook.


Isnt that just not the biggest pile of drivel? Why have no comments been published? Surely not everyone was as "WTF?" as I was.....

Asda? Blimmin ASDA? Sarah, you can't POSSIBLY think that Jizzard would demean herself to shop at ASDA?! The very thought. That's for commoners, surely? Don't Harvey Nicks deliver out there? How can you survive?!!
Christ, Asda probably don't even stock Illy coffee

Well I know haha. But they are the only ones who deliver to we paupers out here. I dont think even Tescos come out this far so we have to make the best of it and sacrifice our IIIy coffee for Nescafe. The affluent amongst us do have Ringtons tea and filter coffee brought to the door in wicker baskets though.

We'd be grateful for a lump of coal as a gift from a passing rock star. Saves having to bring bags of it from the local depot in the boot of the car

If this poor man is real, I'll have him. I don't care about his rockstarriness, he just seems like a man far too nice for this harridan.

And I don't have prawns in my bed.

Prawns in the bed is the weirdest part,after constantly moaning about ex husbands bare legs touching the expensive bed linen

Or tins of cat food hopefully

Seriously, how could she possibly expect sex with an "All They can Eat Cat Buffet" laid out and 16 cats ready with their scorecards a la Strictly Come Bonking? Anyone with a cat knows how offputting ONE can be as they supervise intimate moments, let alone 16 of them sat around with their critical faces on.....

"Seven!!!"
Last edited by Sarah Soreen : 06-01-2013 at 13:37

Yes they do like to watch and a firmly closed door is essential