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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 3)


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Old 03-11-2011, 20:47
DorisMorris
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Here Jones moans about all them 'mumsy' types who feel obliged to take on the lion's share of work planning family christmases.

LJ asks: where are the men ?

They're hiding, that's what...
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Old 03-11-2011, 21:56
angelafisher
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I read today's article and decided that LJ was about as far removed from reality as possible. I have a wide range of friends from all walks of life but I can't imagine any of them being a 'sperm burglar'. I didn't even know women had such thoughts, unless I'm really naive (sp). I'm not sure why she wanted a baby.
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Old 03-11-2011, 22:10
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If she thinks she can get pregnant from the contents of a cold, old condom, she must have been admiring herself in a mirror during sex education lessons at school, instead of taking note.
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Old 03-11-2011, 23:14
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Jeez Louise !

Just caught up with that pic of the Lizard in The Daily Mash.
OMG. That's just nasty!
The 'facelift' looks like an absolute bodge/disaster
Her face is now so lop-sided that she looks like she had a stroke.
Its quite different from the heavily doctored pics we get in The Wail..

I just lost my dinner....
That pic is a good two years old. The giveaway is (are) the jowls.
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Old 04-11-2011, 00:03
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That pic is a good two years old. The giveaway is (are) the jowls.
I am amazed that she doesn't throw a hissy fit that they are still being used in her columns. If I had such an expensive facelift I would not want to reminded of how I looked pre-surgery. But maybe it just proves she never bothers to read any of her published pieces .
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:58
1Kenobi
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ccmc - re: anorexia.

When I saw her at an event at the beginning of the year she was undeniably thin - the camera putting on 10lb and whatnot. There are definite degrees of abuse in anorexia as there are in alcoholism - I would say she could well be anorexic, but a highly functioning one, and the only reason why her body is so brittle is because it's been going on so long.

But she's no thinner than 99% of women in fashion and nothing like a final stage anorexic like Karen Carpenter.

A friend's daughter is still alive (just) but has been abusing her body so badly for about 10 years (she's only in her 20s) that her digestive system is screwed - it doesn't take nutrients any more - so even if she ever does decide to get better she'll have stomach problems all her life. Not to mention the fact she's covered in fine hair and gets blisters on the soles of her feet from the little bones in her feet putting pressure on the skin from the inside...
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Old 04-11-2011, 12:15
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Jones must be the first anorexic to ever have bingo wings.
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Old 04-11-2011, 14:09
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Heaven help the child if she wasn't beautiful and liked cakes
Quelle horreur! My child wants to eat! (queue 3,000 more me, me, me rants)

I have a theoretical question. Liz loudly tells the world "I was / am anorexic." As evidence of this she tells us how thin she was and that she menstruated exactly once. Now frankly, I don't believe this,
I think I actually read that she said she "last menstruated" when she was 18 (this could have implied a few years of infrequent menstruation before it stopped).

However, it is impossible to believe that it was one and only one period ever. Also, my understanding is that for women either side of the healthy BMI range (too underweight or morbidly obese) menstruation can cease, but usually returns to normal if their weight returns to within a healthy range.

She writes about anorexia as if its only symptoms are self-described extreme thinness and a lack of menstruation. Does she have other symptoms? Soft, downy hair that covers her body and brittle hair that falls out on her head?
I guess she doesn't know enough about the other symptoms .... but hold on, if she reads this thread, I'm sure occasional references to being cold and growing extra soft, downy hairs will start to appear in her articles, as sure as sludge follows snow, any day now !!!

Thank you ccmc, you give me so much pause for thought!
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Old 04-11-2011, 16:34
ccmc
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Yes, the bingo wings! Not standard equipment, I'd have thought. The fact that she's never been obsessed with exercise, unlike many anorexics, is evident in that loose, hanging flesh. Hers aren't as bad as many women's, but (just in case she's reading this): Liz, taking the bingo wings out for a trot is fine if you don't mind being photographed with them and having us comment on them (much as you comment so cuttingly on other women's appearance). Here's a life rule: NO ONE ALIVE really admires the upper arms of a woman in her 50s. There may be exceptions, but you're not one of them. Either women of our age have bingo wings or their arms are hard and veiny--there don't see to be a lot of in-between stages.

1Kenobi, hearing from someone who has seen her recently is interesting. Thin but not painfully thin, it sounds like; it could go either way. Ninnididdio . . . yes, thanks for the reminder that Liz cruises this thread! That makes it possible to say things like "Liz, if you're going to proclaim a devotion to exercise you need to be aware that your body tells a different tale" and "If you're going to say that you're an anorexic, stop going to therapists and getting beauty treatments and check in to a clinic to get treatment till the doctors release you. A chance for more reporting about YOU YOU YOU! Of course there's probably a weight requirement and an actual doctor might not agree with your self-diagnosis. And do tell us about your bald patches, creepy downy hair, and so on: google "anorexia symptoms" and you can find a whole whack of them you can say you have."

I don't think her problems are anorexia-related. I think it's booze. She has mentioned her need to make sure that her wine is EXPENSIVE before she takes it home to drink it all by herself. I think some of the incoherence in her columns may have to do with being bombed out of her skull, and I think that if she's not invited to family gatherings and Christmas celebrations it may be because of a tendency to drink too much and start in on the standard bile about women, children, and mothers and move on to why they didn't invite all of her dogs and cats, who are like children to her and just as important if not more so than their huge feral children.

I remember her withering scorn about a New Year's party she begged Rachel Johnson to be able to attend; she claimed to have found rat turds on a pillow, among other things.

Try to imagine Liz Jones being a family member who comes around on Christmas. Do you think she'd stay sober, be pleasant, volunteer to bring a salad, talk to the children about their schools and friends . . . or do you think she'd have a few too many and launch into her usual self-centered, self-pitying, angry ranting? There are reasons she doesn't have an invitation for Christmas and has to beg to be invited to a party. She apparently hasn't been caught drunk driving, so perhaps I'm off. I obviously have no way to tell if she's a drunk. But alcoholism might explain a good deal about Liz.

Really--try to imagine Liz Jones being a family member
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Old 04-11-2011, 17:11
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Try to imagine Liz Jones being a family member who comes around on Christmas. Do you think she'd stay sober, be pleasant, volunteer to bring a salad, talk to the children about their schools and friends . . . or do you think she'd have a few too many and launch into her usual self-centered, self-pitying, angry ranting? There are reasons she doesn't have an invitation for Christmas and has to beg to be invited to a party. She apparently hasn't been caught drunk driving, so perhaps I'm off. I obviously have no way to tell if she's a drunk. But alcoholism might explain a good deal about Liz.

Really--try to imagine Liz Jones being a family member
I've tried to imagine it and it's not pleasant thinking about her disgust at seeing my wardrobe full of New Look and Tescos clothes and having to share a bathroom with two giant feral teenage boys.......I hate to think what she would say in her subsequent "when I stayed with a member of my family" rant
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Old 04-11-2011, 20:46
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Why or why is she allowed to have her warped, narrow minded views (use this term loosely as she has no real mind) to be published. Do the DM think people buy the paper to read her opinions. I really think the men in white coats need to pay her a visit. I dont know which planet she lives on but doubt its planet earth. Hopefully she will go back to her home planet soon. But maybe they dont want her either.
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Old 04-11-2011, 21:05
suzannek
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Here Jones moans about all them 'mumsy' types who feel obliged to take on the lion's share of work planning family christmases.

LJ asks: where are the men ?

They're hiding, that's what...
Dont think LJ gets the concept, ITS AN ADVERT, its not a moral code, its not real life, its people being paid alot of money to put their ideas across hoping that peope will get sucked in and buy the product they are selling. Its alot like LJ trying to get people to buy into her fiction she writes. But maybe her iq is too low for her to realise the irony.
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Old 05-11-2011, 00:56
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She gives childless women ,over 35, who spend time alone with their cats a bad name. We aren't all crazy
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:52
ruffles
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I hate the Boots adverts too. Bah. Humbug.
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Old 05-11-2011, 08:39
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Liz does seem to have come from a somewhat disfunctional and large family, I'm not sure where she is in the order siblings but she seems to have 'middle-child syndrome', this description from middlechildpersonality.com:

"Middle children have low self-esteem. They need support for anything they do, sometimes talents are wasted when they do not pursue their dreams. Middle children have a feeling of emptiness.They are always lonely and are jealous of others. This is a very broad trait, since it affects every aspect of their lives. They may be a little weird, unfriendly and even worse, psychotic because of this feeling of emptiness."

Then again, we know at least two of her siblings have had addiction problems, one fatally, so her many problems could be a genetic trait.
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Old 05-11-2011, 17:08
BreatheEasier
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I really am beginning to worry about her mental stability. It does not seem normal to think you could post a story about stealing sperm and imagine that people would feel any form of empathy for you. And to have lumped a large portion of society in with you as fellow sperm stealing lunatics is about as off putting as one can be. I can't wait to see what's in store with the FRS this week.

On the flip side, my favorite real rock star couple made quite a splash during the past holiday weekend over here in the states...which have led to some pretty big rumors. Still, super cute picture and so very domestic of him...http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6114/...48dd7ee8e0.jpg
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Old 05-11-2011, 17:39
vampyre
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Lizard is the baby of the family.
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Old 05-11-2011, 19:51
ccmc
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Liz does seem to have come from a somewhat disfunctional and large family, I'm not sure where she is in the order siblings but she seems to have 'middle-child syndrome', this description from middlechildpersonality.com:

"Middle children have low self-esteem. They need support for anything they do, sometimes talents are wasted when they do not pursue their dreams. Middle children have a feeling of emptiness.They are always lonely and are jealous of others. This is a very broad trait, since it affects every aspect of their lives. They may be a little weird, unfriendly and even worse, psychotic because of this feeling of emptiness."

Then again, we know at least two of her siblings have had addiction problems, one fatally, so her many problems could be a genetic trait.
I'm the youngest, with two older brothers, and surprisingly the guy in the middle doesn't seem to have these traits (and thank goodness). I just adore him; he's a great brother. But low self-esteem has never been a problem for him, and he's very accomplished in his field and working his dream job. I don't think he's ever particularly lonely, especially because his kids, wife, mother in law and sister in law work for him and see him often on weekend. But he also has a lot of friends. I'm in a very different line of work but he's the only one in my family to congratulate me on my accomplishments, so I guess he's not jealous, and he's definitely not psychotic.

With Liz I wonder if her narcissism is a result of her family, something she was just born with, or both.
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Old 05-11-2011, 21:23
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From today's Dreary: "We decide to go to the cinema, a normal thing we’ve never done before, so worried is he about being spotted with me."

Title of Dreary for July 9th this year: "In Which He Wants To Go Public"

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Old 06-11-2011, 00:02
ccmc
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From today's Dreary: "We decide to go to the cinema, a normal thing we’ve never done before, so worried is he about being spotted with me."

Title of Dreary for July 9th this year: "In Which He Wants To Go Public"

Liar, liar, pants on fire! I've pointed out that she reads the comments, where people point out how her stories are impossible, and then tries to undo the damage only to make things worse. Or the comments make her realize her scenarios are just silly and so she "forgets" about them. Didn't the RS and Liz have a major fight in New York? Didn't she courageously walk out in her ridiculous high heels and take a long hike? She dropped that story; and I suppose that him being at the "cupboard" will mean he doesn't see the mess in his bathroom and carpet. (He'll never guess who did it, the silly fool, or he'll just wuz Liz SO MUCH that he'll laugh about it. Or she'll forget that she caused what sounds like thousands of pounds of damage.)

I wondered idly why he suddenly didn't want to be seen with her and whether that means that she went with a bag over her head. I found the wording odd--he didn't want to be seen WITH HER. Not "with a woman", but with Liz Jones. Well, really, that makes sense. It's the only sensible way to travel with Liz Jones, though a tennis ball in the mouth might enhance the event.

I know, I know! It's Ringo!! No one seems to have mentioned him!

The holidays are coming. No doubt the RS will spend them with his children, which might prevent the question of what he buys her arising. That could be dicey. If you claim a rich man has bought you a Hermes sugar cube holder and you didn't like it, people aren't going to expect you to have it popped in your bag. But a piece of statement jewelry? It would be harder to explain why it wasn't appearing. Dear, dear. Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive and all that.

WHY does she harp on the never-actually-attractive Nirpal? If I'd funded that leech I'd attempt to forget all about him and my stupid mistake.
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Old 06-11-2011, 00:25
serendipitea
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From that latest Liz Jones moany piece on the Boots TV ad (boots sure are getting a kicking from LJ lately, including the £850 ones bought from an airport lounge that defies normal time/space conventions ):

She was invited to a preview of the latest Boots TV ad and comments:

"So, men are allowed hobbies, while women are no longer even allowed to get dressed up, as in the previous Boots ads: they are now surreptitiously spending and wrapping and, presumably, baking."

Hard to know where to begin here, it's a bit like trying to construct an argument against a dribble castle, but my take on this ad (which is an ad, not a Panorama documentary or a video diary or one of the Ten Commandments as LJ seems to believe) is that the women are in spoof mufti because they are going about their spoof stealth Christmas arrangements in order to surprise family and friends. In an ad.

The ad plays against previous Boots Christmas ones which majored to the point, some might say, of repetition on the notion of women glamming up - clearly for LJ this was the golden era of Boots ads, which I do understand on reading her columns.

Talking of surprise, I'm rather surprised that on watching the ad, this fashion writer appears not to have noticed that at the end the female cast has in fact been what I can only describe as "allowed to get dressed up" in sequins and cocktail dresses, as exceptionally clearly shown by the picture the subs have chosen to illustrate her column.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:48
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Welcome to Ruffles & Serendipitea

______________________________________________

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...s-pension.html

The superannuated dairy cows are back! Oh to be able to write a free ad in a national newspaper for one's sideline business.

Since last week LJ has been 'rediagnosed' as a recovering borderline anorexic.
Forgive my ignorance, but I would have thought that either you is or you isn't - if you are, it's a matter of degree.

I hope that the farmer who sold her the cows takes legal action! (Won't quote the relevant part here) Very nasty description.
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Old 06-11-2011, 15:31
Paula Panzer
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Her comments on Downton Abbey (which I have unfortunately never seen as I can't get British television) show Liz's inconsistencies once more:

"...the wonderfully acerbic Maggie Smith, whose skin has a delightfully wrinkly appearance so rare these days when actresses succumb to Botox and facelifts..."

As if facelifts and Botox were a bad thing!

"...I’d have liked a few tiger skins on the walls, more guns crooked over tweed-clad arms and the myopic cook teaching Daisy how to jug a hare..."

Although here she is saying she wishes the "cruelties of the age" were depicted, wouldn't it mean that a real hare might have to be sacrificed for the sake of drama and authenticity, even if the tiger is long dead (which makes it forgiveable to show it?). When I was doing a bit of acting, if a turkey had to be eaten onstage, a real turkey was eaten - I'm sure they do the same on television.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ton-Abbey.html

As for the piece on the dairy cows, yes, that's pure advertising for which she gets paid. Isn't she the lucky one!
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Old 06-11-2011, 16:42
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In today's Diary, the RS is portrayed as more of a therapist than a boyfriend.

Also, how convenient that they were the only two people in the cinema!
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Old 06-11-2011, 17:00
cathrin
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In today's Diary, the RS is portrayed as more of a therapist than a boyfriend.

!
...Yes! And as usual, he reads Liz's mind and responds positively to her every thought (almost as impressively as a passing taxi driver/Dutchman with tulips etc,) helpfully supplying responses to her reminiscinces, willingly engaging in endless supportive analysis of her relationship with her ex, and generally behaving like, oh, I don't know...an imaginary boyfriend who says and does whatever you want him to because hey, you're in charge.

Note also that they never seem to have conversations about him; there are none of those two-way exchanges that happen in real relationships, where you kind of trade information and emotions and find out about each other in equal measures. It's all me, me, me, with the FRS acting as a sort of talking mirror reflecting back at her the stuff she says about herself. The pattern is always the same in these stagey scenes with the FRS: She talks about herself (and usually her ex), then the conversation stops for a while while she *thinks* about herself-and-her-ex, then the FRS rounds it all up nicely by catching up with her thoughts and supplying a sort of tying--everything-up-with-a-bow comment that seems to assume he's been in on all the thoughts too, just like the "Not all men are monsters" taxi driver.

This doesn't happen in real life, because in real life the other person is real too, and they would soon get fed up of playing a role that effectively just props up the "star" of the relationship by endlessly focusing on her and reinforcing her own thoughts about herself. No self-respecting man would play this role...least of all a man who is literally a star in his own world.

That seems to be Liz's problem over and over again; she forgets that other people are real, and simply treats them as bit-part players in her own drama. Consequently they sort of fold up and fall silent like puppets inbetween the comments about me, me me.

Her "conversations" with the FRS sound increasingly like the conversations a 9-year old has with her dolls, where the dolls "say" everything the 9-year old wants to hear.

Hey, that's a thought! Maybe he's a ventriloquist's dummy, and Liz walks him around London moving his lips while she talks about herself and gets him to say all this stuff in reply?
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