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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 3)


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Old 19-11-2011, 13:18
Bellagio
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Good Food Nation

Be prepared to wet yourself laughing... also please note that Liz "I'm-a-vegan" Jones is eating goat's cheese. Last time I looked, a goat wasn't a plant.
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Old 19-11-2011, 14:49
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Good Food Nation

Be prepared to wet yourself laughing... also please note that Liz "I'm-a-vegan" Jones is eating goat's cheese. Last time I looked, a goat wasn't a plant.
I just don't see how this logically can work as a business. For a cow to produce milk it has to have calves. Female calves will later be able to give milk. Not many male calves will serve as studs later so it means the majority of male calves will grow up to be lazy scroungers living off their old mum's pension.Such male calves could live for up to 15 years. A dairy farmer's wife wrote the following "cattle have to be brought inside for the winter, they don't just live on grass as most people assume, they need proper mineral food as well to supplement their diet. Acreage is also an issue, one cow will need 2.1 acres to itself for it to graze for 143 days. Also water, an average cow will drink about 8 gallons of water a day but this will go up to 24 gallons a day in heat of around 90 degrees. " It won't take that many years before a farm runs out of space for all the non productive cattle allowed to die of old age.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question...7130136AAA8VSq
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Old 19-11-2011, 15:33
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I just don't see how this logically can work as a business. For a cow to produce milk it has to have calves. Female calves will later be able to give milk. Not many male calves will serve as studs later so it means the majority of male calves will grow up to be lazy scroungers living off their old mum's pension.Such male calves could live for up to 15 years. A dairy farmer's wife wrote the following "cattle have to be brought inside for the winter, they don't just live on grass as most people assume, they need proper mineral food as well to supplement their diet. Acreage is also an issue, one cow will need 2.1 acres to itself for it to graze for 143 days. Also water, an average cow will drink about 8 gallons of water a day but this will go up to 24 gallons a day in heat of around 90 degrees. " It won't take that many years before a farm runs out of space for all the non productive cattle allowed to die of old age.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question...7130136AAA8VSq
SinSeer - you're so right: logic doesn't the equation.

Incidentally, wasn't there some talk about tinkering with nature so that only heifer calves (little girl cows, in the LJ lexicon?) are produced...and that didn't go quite according to plan.

The video clip is a masterpiece, but not in a good way.
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Old 19-11-2011, 22:49
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Feels like Groundhog Day...latest Dreary doesn't add anything..FRS 'live with me' 'animal passports' 'stop writing about us' blah blah blah. I hate being nasty about anyone, but it must be a weird place in her head.
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Old 20-11-2011, 00:36
SinSeer
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SinSeer - you're so right: logic doesn't the equation.

Incidentally, wasn't there some talk about tinkering with nature so that only heifer calves (little girl cows, in the LJ lexicon?) are produced...and that didn't go quite according to plan.

The video clip is a masterpiece, but not in a good way.
IVF for cows? How is that natural? Absolutely bonkers.
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Old 20-11-2011, 08:43
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IVF for cows? How is that natural? Absolutely bonkers.
AI is quite common in cattle/sheep/pigs (turkeys, even). Seems hugely unethical and unnatural but it's an established practice - as is, if you'll excuse the expression at breakfast time on a Sunday, sex selection (which, clearly, is not infallible).

More than a little surprising that this is the route chosen by the trustees of the Cow Nation pension fund...but, there again, nothing surprises.
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Old 20-11-2011, 12:25
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AI is quite common in cattle/sheep/pigs (turkeys, even). Seems hugely unethical and unnatural but it's an established practice - as is, if you'll excuse the expression at breakfast time on a Sunday, sex selection (which, clearly, is not infallible).

More than a little surprising that this is the route chosen by the trustees of the Cow Nation pension fund...but, there again, nothing surprises.
So all the little boy embryos are thrown away. I shall have to picket Cow nation now for their cruel and sexist treatment of cattle .
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Old 20-11-2011, 12:33
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She's really upset me this morning banging on about how she lives in the worst house of any woman ever since Sarah Beeny. Everyone's seen the pictures, it's a luxury pad and I'm sure all the women stuck in crappy council houses or saddled with huge mortgages but can't afford to fix the roof on their modest house because the economy is so crap would jump at the chance to live there.
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Old 20-11-2011, 12:40
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AI is quite common in cattle/sheep/pigs (turkeys, even). Seems hugely unethical and unnatural but it's an established practice - as is, if you'll excuse the expression at breakfast time on a Sunday, sex selection (which, clearly, is not infallible).

More than a little surprising that this is the route chosen by the trustees of the Cow Nation pension fund...but, there again, nothing surprises.
Loath though I am to defend Liz Jones AI is actually the norm and it's unusual to find herds that don't use it.

I know this because a member of my family was killed in an accident by a bull trying to get at his female herd which was quite a big deal and led to legislation on the keeping of bulls being tightened. They're too dangerous, especially around cows, not many people keep them and they're strictly controlled.

Added onto that the logistics of moving a huge bull around the country to each herd to mate compared with the ease of receiving a package of sperm which is fairly easily retrieved, packaged, sent and inseminated and it's not really unethical or cruel. The bull goes for a cow and they whip her away at the last minute and whack a plastic container in there.

I would weighed up against killing male calves it's probably more ethical.
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Old 20-11-2011, 13:39
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The bull goes for a cow and they whip her away at the last minute and whack a plastic container in there.
Someone did that to me, I would be righteously peed off.
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Old 20-11-2011, 13:58
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Someone did that to me, I would be righteously peed off.
Wouldn't imagine it's much fun for the cow either...
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Old 20-11-2011, 14:10
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Loath though I am to defend Liz Jones AI is actually the norm and it's unusual to find herds that don't use it.

I know this because a member of my family was killed in an accident by a bull trying to get at his female herd which was quite a big deal and led to legislation on the keeping of bulls being tightened. They're too dangerous, especially around cows, not many people keep them and they're strictly controlled.

Added onto that the logistics of moving a huge bull around the country to each herd to mate compared with the ease of receiving a package of sperm which is fairly easily retrieved, packaged, sent and inseminated and it's not really unethical or cruel. The bull goes for a cow and they whip her away at the last minute and whack a plastic container in there.

I would weighed up against killing male calves it's probably more ethical.
I remember in the 1960's while living on a dairy farm that all the cows were impregnated using Artificial Insemination - the AI man used to come round in his little van !
Now though most of the farms round have their own bulls - there are two here on the farm where I live and they seem pretty happy with their lives!
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Old 20-11-2011, 15:31
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The bull goes for a cow and they whip her away at the last minute and whack a plastic container in there.
An acquaintance of mine does this with horses - he owns a couple of stallions and a few mares. I believe he collects the semen from the bucket and freezes it, although I've no idea whether or not this is common practice.

Has Liz ever thought of freezing some of the sperm she steals? It might come in handy at a later date. She could be the oldest new mother in the world and get a cover story out of it
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Old 20-11-2011, 15:45
tania4steve
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She's really upset me this morning banging on about how she lives in the worst house of any woman ever since Sarah Beeny. Everyone's seen the pictures, it's a luxury pad and I'm sure all the women stuck in crappy council houses or saddled with huge mortgages but can't afford to fix the roof on their modest house because the economy is so crap would jump at the chance to live there.
Yep!!
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Old 20-11-2011, 16:17
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An acquaintance of mine does this with horses - he owns a couple of stallions and a few mares. I believe he collects the semen from the bucket and freezes it, although I've no idea whether or not this is common practice.

Has Liz ever thought of freezing some of the sperm she steals? It might come in handy at a later date. She could be the oldest new mother in the world and get a cover story out of it
Yep it is normal practice

I spent a few years working as a groom with competition horses many of which were stallions.

Artificial insemination (or AI) is the preferred way of breeding top end Sports horses as horses can easily injure themselves during the normal breeding process and you would not want to risk injury to a top class level animal.

The semen from the stallion is collected into a container such as a large condom, tube or a device known as an artificial vagina.

The stallion is either stimulated by a groom's hand (You can imagine explaing this away in the "what did you do today darling" conversation ) while a condom is on or the stallion mounts a "phantom" or dummy mare or real mare and the penis is inserted into a collecting tube.

The semen is put into sterile vials and frozen. It can then be shipped all over the world and can be kept in storage for years.

Lets just hope Liz does not get the Condoms mixed up
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Old 20-11-2011, 17:03
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ult-usual.html

I really can't follow anything that she writes. But then, that is probably because 'her writing is too subtle to follow'.
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Old 20-11-2011, 17:08
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Or maybe because she is truly a piss-poor journalist.
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Old 20-11-2011, 17:53
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"This new fascination with female weakness and detail has leaked everywhere, even into low culture, such as I’m A Celebrity – which is all about revealing female weakness.
Its choice of older female contestants is not to be applauded, after all: they are chosen to reveal their battiness; cellulite; crazy, untamed hair; and fear of spiders – not their strength, wisdom and resolve."

Good thing Liz didn't get picked (or turned it down, depending on the version she is peddling at the moment), because all she would have to show would be her own battiness.
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Old 20-11-2011, 18:09
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That really is like the disjointed ramblings of someone talking in their sleep! I had to laugh at her explanation for being "signposty",which apparently is necessary because she's told her writing is too subtle to follow. She really does know how to put a positive spin onto criticism, doesn't she? Too subtle? Or just completely nonsensical and rambling?

And why does she always project non-existent sexism onto everything her estate agent says? She seems incapable of mentioning him without giving him the "sexist" tag, even when he's simply suggested that she rents somewhere while between houses.

It was interesting to read that piece by the other journalist, about revisiting old ex-boyfriends. Very LJ-esque in its obsessive rehashing of old relationships. Especially her reaction when the exes she approached didn't want to see her and expressed horror at the idea of talking to her: "Had I hurt these men?" That struck me as really Liz-ish. It's just the sort of thing she'd think and say in that scenario, giving herself an elevated position of importance instead of just thinking "Blimey, I really must have been a nightmare if the idea of seeing me again has this effect!"
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Old 20-11-2011, 18:13
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I know this isn't exactly gallant, but having seen pics of Tanya Gold, I'm astonished she had that many exes. Did she ? Did she ?
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Old 20-11-2011, 20:00
SinSeer
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Loath though I am to defend Liz Jones AI is actually the norm and it's unusual to find herds that don't use it.

I know this because a member of my family was killed in an accident by a bull trying to get at his female herd which was quite a big deal and led to legislation on the keeping of bulls being tightened. They're too dangerous, especially around cows, not many people keep them and they're strictly controlled.

Added onto that the logistics of moving a huge bull around the country to each herd to mate compared with the ease of receiving a package of sperm which is fairly easily retrieved, packaged, sent and inseminated and it's not really unethical or cruel. The bull goes for a cow and they whip her away at the last minute and whack a plastic container in there.

I would weighed up against killing male calves it's probably more ethical.
AI I can understand but how do they ensure only female embryos?
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Old 20-11-2011, 21:43
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AI I can understand but how do they ensure only female embryos?
Chromosomes, testing for Y & Z. I think?? Memories of biology at school (Mendel and sweet peas) have surfaced.
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Old 20-11-2011, 22:21
Smallalien
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AI I can understand but how do they ensure only female embryos?
It's the sperm I think. If I remember rightly the sperm can be sorted by spinning at a particular speed like it's in a washing machine and all the male ones fly out the side and are filtered off but the female ones remain and are concentrated together and used for the AI.

People can't really complain about sperm being killed off because of them will die anyway apart from one which fertilises the egg so I can't really see the problem in cattle.

In humans that's another story but cattle it seems okay.
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Old 21-11-2011, 17:25
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So Jim Kerr is out of the frame

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifest...s-liz-jones.do
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Old 21-11-2011, 17:27
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Jones interview in today's Evening Standard contains the following significant piece of info:

"Would she ever make anything up for the column? (She did lie about her age for a number of years). "Hmm … I think I've condensed things …" she says. It is notable that despite her commitment to the truth, she hasn't revealed the identity of the rock-star boyfriend whose presence has so livened up the column recently. "Oh, I've been offered so much money!" she squirms. "I want to keep just one thing. I've lost so many people in my life. I think I've probably got two people still in my life. It's important to learn from your mistakes."

She does say it's not Jim Kerr (who has apparently been dismayed at the rumours that it is him) but she won't name names. So how do we know he's not made up? Did you maybe plagiarise the storyline from Tamara Drewe? She goes rather quiet, and says: "Oh … people always said that about my husband. They didn't think he was real."

I'm unconvinced. Each time I ask about Rock Star, say, by asking if she's going to move in with him, she keeps deflecting the question back to Dhaliwal, talking about what a nightmare he was to live with but how they actually had quite a laugh. When I ask again if RS is made up, she says: "I hope people think he is, 'cos then they wouldn't be on the trail, ha ha! And I would have such a happy life … but there is a good twist coming up." "

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifest...-JUlk.facebook
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