Oh, super

I don't read any of her other garbage anymore, but I just have to see how the RS story concludes.

ccmc - Thank you very much for your very comprehensive reply! I now have enough material to give a few more lessons to my young (male) student.

Strangely, I brought a Christmas pudding back to Gemany a couple of years ago and it didn't go down at all well. They don't like our Christmas cake either. Must be the English tastebud thing again. I'm not much into Sauerkraut, to be honest, and I get that at Christmas here.

I hope you had a truly wonderful Thanksgiving.

Well, it appears that they are both realising that they didn't know one another and they don't like what they are discovering about one another after all this time... blah, blah, blah.

Very strange that he was so keen for her to move in with him/him to move in with her, when he should be old and wise enough to know better. But then fictional characters don't always know better, do they?

I can't get the article either, but I think I get the drift. Poor Liz Jones. Only she could be incompatible with an imaginary rock star boyfriend. Ray Davies and I get along just fine. He adores me.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, ccmc. I enjoyed reading your reply to Paula


I know how LJ loves to recycle, but today's dreary seems to be only a verrrry slightly tweaked/rearranged version of last week's/the week before's.

Perhaps she's saving her energy to work on a new book .....

This week's Diary ticks almost all the boxes on the Bingo card! Giant children. Spiteful dig at Kirstie Allsopp. Plot developments straight out of Sex And The City ("He wants me to stop writing this column, and go and live with him abroad"...just like Carrie Bradshaw's dilemma in the final episode, hmmm?) Cat-related reminiscence re ex husband....zzzzz. And I haven't even read the MoS column yet.....

In my mind's eye I keep seeing Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons riding his bike around Brushford saying,"Ha!Ha! Your imaginary boyfriend dumped you!"

MoS has quite un unobjectionable article about her mother's lovely carers, until a bizarre bit at the end about how she is going skiiing at Christmas so yah boo to her mother and the carers.

I wonder how many people will buy her eggs and milk? YOu would have to be very keen on animals, very rich and able to shop in central London. On the other hand, the organic food shop in Kensington High St always seems to be bursting at the seams (not with me) so some people must fit that description.

[quote=wonkeydonkey;54888696]MoS has quite un unobjectionable article about her mother's lovely carers, until a bizarre bit at the end about how she is going skiiing at Christmas so yah boo to her mother and the carers./QUOTE]

Although, buried at the end is the comment:

"As a daughter, I’ve found you have to be very interactive: you interfere, ask questions and turn up unannounced."

I thought she had admitted to visiting her mother as seldom as possible. When were these unannounced visits made?

I just read that column, and my jaw practically hit the floor when I read the last paragraph. What on earth does she mean by "Now tell me whose rights are being violated."? I genuinely don't understand what her point is. Whose rights is she implying have been violated? Who does she suggest is doing the violating?

Did anyone understand what she was getting at here? I'm genuinely curious, because the article seemed to be flailing around to find some sort of point, and that last paragraph was so bizarre, it ended on a really strange note.

I think shes saying we should feel sorry for the carers, that she can go off skiing whilst the carer has to stay at home with her mum for minimum wage, it is all a bit garbled though

Who wants to buy 'vegan' Lizzie's leather Mulberry bag?
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Celebrity-...item4ab1107261

Nice bag and all that, but not sure I'd want the vibes that might come with that. All for a good cause though.........the rest of the Save The Children bag auctions are here:
http://members.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISA...children_uk_hq

Yes, much head-scratching and furrowed brow as I simply couldn't fathom out what she was on about.


Ah, that's what was meant. How very kind that she should think of her mother's carer in the same breath as insinuating that Liz, herself, is going to spend Christmas on the piste.

(There was a sweeping, and hugely insensitive, generalisation that those who have carers (live-in or "pop in") is because family members don't want to do it themselves. That's simply not the case: but the rationale of LJ world is rather...well...odd)

I have joined DS just so I could comment on Liz Jones, I may be crazier than her! I think her 'twist' will be that she is pregnant (IVF) and re-marrying Nirpal. She will moan about her the hormones they gave her made her grey roots worse, and she has had to re-mortgage her home to pay because the NHS wouldn't treat her because she is 63.

Hi and welcome eggysue!

Love your theory on the 'twist'....let's hope she didn't get her frozen jizzies muddled up with the cattle samples

FROM LAST WEEK: "He wants me to stop writing this column..." (and go and live with him abroad)

THE XMAS TWIST: (after a few more weeks of to-ing and fro-ing):



REAL REASON: she is so fed up of all the negative comments every week laughing at the Fictional RS and not taking her fauxmance seriously !!!

But giving up the Diary but continuing with "Jones Moans" and the fashion articles and all the other op. ed. pieces will still give Liz the opportunity to very sporadically drop in the occasional reference to "my boyfriend" or "like I mentioned when I went shopping with the RS last week ..."

Because Liz has to keep up the fiction that the RS exists -- she cannot stop. And not having to write the diary, but including him in occasional references in her other articles elsewhere would give Liz just enough scope to keep her mad fantasy alive (in her own head at least) !!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...-Illness-.html

"Last week, my cleaner — who was supposed to be hard at work in my kitchen — called to say she hadn’t been able to return my calls as she couldn’t stop crying.
‘Listen,’ I admonished, since I am, after all, the queen of tiredness, phobias and psychiatric problems, ‘if anyone has the right to cry, it’s me . . . Now, has the chair, been delivered? And did the men take their shoes off?’"

Words fail me...

Many thanks for your kind words, friends.

She has nothing to write about. That's the problem, and that's why she invented the rs. She has no friends, she has no family who will put up with her, her rescued racehorse seems to hate her, her animals are so out of control in her house that she's had to find a place in London to live so she doesn't have to deal with the urine and poop and endless barking. She's scared to write about her finances, since readers have ripped into her begging; few seem to value her fashion advice, and her "Jones Moans" is just malice that reveals that she is a jealous, petty shrew.

She's so desperate that she's dragging her ex-husband in. I gather she must have had a flock of readers who were following the slow unraveling of the marriage? People who cared about her because her nasty side was perhaps not so visible? Here's a definition of pathetic: Being a woman of her years, desperate for copy, and hoping that if the rs saga made her look loony, she can start writing about her ex-husband and the fans who once cared about that relationship will pop up and flood the Mail with positive comments. In her dreams, is my guess.

Did she once seem like a reasonably bearable person, back then? Did her comments influence anyone? Were those first nasty posts about rural life the beginning of readers seeing that she was just a lying drama queen, claiming her lovely house was a pig stye, claiming her perfectly normal neighbors were duh erm eh stupid?

They're no longer accepting comments on her latest mad moans column. I'm not surprised. I can't think of anything polite I could write about it.

I always find her 'celebrity braindead moment' comments entirely bizzare, seemingly as nobody ever seems to say or do anything brain dead. I'm wondering what exactly poor Miranda Kerr said this week that's put her on the recieving end of Lizzie's wrath, other than appearing to be a new mum in great shape with a happy relationship, as I'm none the wiser after Liz's ramblings.

Also, I'm loving the fact that the only comment the mods have accepted is "GO LIZ", a sentiment I agree with a lot. Go, far far far away.

Yes, Liz will loathe Miranda Kerr, who probably didn't even have to resort to deception in conceiving her baby with her loving, handsome, film star partner - just to spite Liz of course.

Not a thought for why the cleaner has been crying...

And as for this:

"Frankly, I envy all those people who went on strike yesterday to protest against cuts to their pensions. Me? I’m so ill, tired and over-worked, I’ll probably be dead before I qualify for one!"

Is she serious? Or is she actually trying for irony (which, after her previous remarks, doesn't work)?

I couldn't believe it either!

What an absolute joy and support Liz must be to all those around her!

The daft bint just gave an absolutely classic example of the very thing she was moaning about - competitive illness!

I can't work out if she really is that stupid or she is just a wum?!

I think you hit the nail on the head there. Pretty, succcessful girl seems very happily married to a real life famous person and has just had a new baby. All reasons for Liz to stick the boot in (In LJ's mind).

I am now wondering, especially after her wonky moving mouth on 'This Morning' interview, she did this weird mouth thing when she was trying to be amusing, is she trying to be comical? Is this supposed to be like Bridget Jones? Failing miserably, because even if you don't find something funny, most people can recognise when someone is TRYING to be funny. Expect she is jealous of the Bridget Jones author, erm, Helen ?? something. Also, I did read and believe! stopped believing after the money thing, she just sort of rewound to a different scenario, and is now buying chairs! I would LOVE her to have her own reality show though, but her own self image is so far from reality she will probably never see what we all see.