From the Nancy Delusional thread:
Originally Posted by Hound of Love:
“And she is still claiming to be 50...must be in Sinitta years...”
“And she is still claiming to be 50...must be in Sinitta years...”
The SCDIX "Post of The Day"
4 of 9
Originally Posted by Coronis:
“*Pisses self at the text message post*
Poor Pasha....”
“*Pisses self at the text message post*
Poor Pasha....”
Look at Pasha and Chelsee's twitter accounts. One is articulate, well-spelt and good grammar. One is not. Guess which...
These texts may not be too far removed from reality!
Tabithakittens response to reading this tweet from Aliona
Quote:
“AlionaVilani Aliona Vilani
3 hrs in studio with me myself and I choreographing our first dance for @mcflyharry and me...hope Harry likes it!!! I think it's gangsta
”
“AlionaVilani Aliona Vilani
3 hrs in studio with me myself and I choreographing our first dance for @mcflyharry and me...hope Harry likes it!!! I think it's gangsta
”
Originally Posted by tabithakitten:
“That'll be a waltz then.”
“That'll be a waltz then.”
Love this one from the Edwina Currie - Question? thread...
from 21stCenturyBoy
And Edwina isn't the only Jewish woman taking part this year- surprisingly, Nancy Dell'Olio is also a Jew.
reply from CBee
Shouldn't that be *the second most famous Jew after Jesus*??
from 21stCenturyBoy
And Edwina isn't the only Jewish woman taking part this year- surprisingly, Nancy Dell'Olio is also a Jew.
reply from CBee
Shouldn't that be *the second most famous Jew after Jesus*??
Originally Posted by phoebefair:
“Love this one from the Edwina Currie - Question? thread...
from 21stCenturyBoy
And Edwina isn't the only Jewish woman taking part this year- surprisingly, Nancy Dell'Olio is also a Jew.
reply from CBee
Shouldn't that be *the second most famous Jew after Jesus*??”
“Love this one from the Edwina Currie - Question? thread...
from 21stCenturyBoy
And Edwina isn't the only Jewish woman taking part this year- surprisingly, Nancy Dell'Olio is also a Jew.
reply from CBee
Shouldn't that be *the second most famous Jew after Jesus*??”
<... Applause!>
Excellent.
Text messages part two
I'm not sure whether to nominate this or not as I only understand one side of the conversation!
Originally Posted by shrew:
“Oh no... I've been inspired again...
Fan(is)fic part 2.1. Pasha and Chelseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Transcript. part deux.
C : O mi ed. U no ow 2 work a girl ard. i swetted so much. Soz abut ur taser. mi sergion sez ive ad so much work i am now 'non-conductif'. i fort it wuz a rely gud mov in der walts but u nerly punktured mi boob. I erd dat Aliona (dat slg u dont lik much) wuz dng gangsta - is dat y u r wering a stab vest and av sum mace in da danc? xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
P: I thought I asked you not to text me, in case the press think we're a couple. Um... why yes! The theme I thought that would be most appropriate and 'current' would be the London riots... for many reasons. I'll be the police, sorry, the 'Feds', and you'll play a young offensive.. sorry, offender. Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I'm having difficultly understanding your texts. Best regards, Pasha
C: I no, i no, u sed not 2 txt, bt i rely lik talkng 2 u. Nd i fort dat u cud xplane y we ad 2 dance in diffrint roms nd uz walki-talkis afta lunch. xxxxxxxxx i fort i wuz dat u saw mi tit nd got a wudy.... lol lol lol lol lol lol xxxxxxx lol
P: No. It was because you broke my taser. I had to change the choreo in order to maintain my purity of vision (shall we say)... Best regards, Pasha.
By the way.... what's happened to the vowels where you come from?
C: I ad the shts lst wek? bt dats PURSONEL! u jst wel peevd mi of! y u ax dat? I knt bleve it!!!!!!
P: No! No! VOWELS. A, E, I O and U. Many apologies for the confusion. Believe me, I am NOT interested in that! Please gets some sleep as we still have to perfect the arm-hanky half-Nelson.
C: i ope so n al. nt peevd nw so lol lol lol lol lol lol xxxxxxxxxxxxx gud nite, swet drems..... luva C U tomoz. il av mre bras on, i prmiz.
P: Sweat dreams too. Good night sweet lady.
<... Pasha turns his phone off and pours himself a large vodka. Opens a well thumbed copy of 'Crime and Punishment'... weeps>”
“Oh no... I've been inspired again...
Fan(is)fic part 2.1. Pasha and Chelseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Transcript. part deux.
C : O mi ed. U no ow 2 work a girl ard. i swetted so much. Soz abut ur taser. mi sergion sez ive ad so much work i am now 'non-conductif'. i fort it wuz a rely gud mov in der walts but u nerly punktured mi boob. I erd dat Aliona (dat slg u dont lik much) wuz dng gangsta - is dat y u r wering a stab vest and av sum mace in da danc? xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
P: I thought I asked you not to text me, in case the press think we're a couple. Um... why yes! The theme I thought that would be most appropriate and 'current' would be the London riots... for many reasons. I'll be the police, sorry, the 'Feds', and you'll play a young offensive.. sorry, offender. Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I'm having difficultly understanding your texts. Best regards, Pasha
C: I no, i no, u sed not 2 txt, bt i rely lik talkng 2 u. Nd i fort dat u cud xplane y we ad 2 dance in diffrint roms nd uz walki-talkis afta lunch. xxxxxxxxx i fort i wuz dat u saw mi tit nd got a wudy.... lol lol lol lol lol lol xxxxxxx lol
P: No. It was because you broke my taser. I had to change the choreo in order to maintain my purity of vision (shall we say)... Best regards, Pasha.
By the way.... what's happened to the vowels where you come from?
C: I ad the shts lst wek? bt dats PURSONEL! u jst wel peevd mi of! y u ax dat? I knt bleve it!!!!!!
P: No! No! VOWELS. A, E, I O and U. Many apologies for the confusion. Believe me, I am NOT interested in that! Please gets some sleep as we still have to perfect the arm-hanky half-Nelson.
C: i ope so n al. nt peevd nw so lol lol lol lol lol lol xxxxxxxxxxxxx gud nite, swet drems..... luva C U tomoz. il av mre bras on, i prmiz.
P: Sweat dreams too. Good night sweet lady.
<... Pasha turns his phone off and pours himself a large vodka. Opens a well thumbed copy of 'Crime and Punishment'... weeps>”
I'm not sure whether to nominate this or not as I only understand one side of the conversation!
Originally Posted by perdiedumpling:
“Text messages part two
I'm not sure whether to nominate this or not as I only understand one side of the conversation!”
“Text messages part two
I'm not sure whether to nominate this or not as I only understand one side of the conversation!”
Which side is that then tee hee
Originally Posted by perdiedumpling:
“Text messages part two
I'm not sure whether to nominate this or not as I only understand one side of the conversation!”
“Text messages part two
I'm not sure whether to nominate this or not as I only understand one side of the conversation!”
Just about understood what Chalseeeee's trying to say.
Originally Posted by phoebefair:
“Which side is that then tee hee”
“Which side is that then tee hee
”
Pasha's side could have been in Russian and I would have had a better chance of understanding it!
(BTW, I don't speak Russian)
Nominate this from yesterday in the resurrected Dear Deirdre thread
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Dear Deirdre,
I am a privately educated young woman with a first class honours degree in Political Science from Cambridge, obtained when I was only 15 years old.
I was then offered a scholarship at Oxford where I completed a second degree in Mandarin.
I have spent a year in Russia teaching Economic Theory to undergraduates (all classes conducted in Russian)
I am currently studying for my Master’s degree, having completed a fast-track MBA at Yale during the summer.
Once my studies are complete, I intend to take up a post as Advisor to President Obama, having been head-hunted at his personal request.
My problem is this….
Does Pasha fancy me?
Yours,
Chelseeaa Helllooo”
“Dear Deirdre,
I am a privately educated young woman with a first class honours degree in Political Science from Cambridge, obtained when I was only 15 years old.
I was then offered a scholarship at Oxford where I completed a second degree in Mandarin.
I have spent a year in Russia teaching Economic Theory to undergraduates (all classes conducted in Russian)
I am currently studying for my Master’s degree, having completed a fast-track MBA at Yale during the summer.
Once my studies are complete, I intend to take up a post as Advisor to President Obama, having been head-hunted at his personal request.
My problem is this….
Does Pasha fancy me?
Yours,
Chelseeaa Helllooo”
Originally Posted by spider9:
“Nominate this from yesterday in the resurrected Dear Deirdre thread”
“Nominate this from yesterday in the resurrected Dear Deirdre thread”
Brilliant!
From the Russell Injured foot thread (AKA The Dainty Thread)
Originally Posted by phoebefair:
“This thread has become a haven for foot fetishists. You'll be discussing Laila and her pack of frozen peas next. And don't forget poor Ali's stubbed toe.
The BBC really need to be more protective of their assets. Steel-capped boots should be provided for all couples. Then we'd see who could really dance.”
“This thread has become a haven for foot fetishists. You'll be discussing Laila and her pack of frozen peas next. And don't forget poor Ali's stubbed toe.
The BBC really need to be more protective of their assets. Steel-capped boots should be provided for all couples. Then we'd see who could really dance.”
From the Will Lulu do well even if she is not so good with the Scottish vote thread where Scots are saying they don't don't vote on a nationalistic basis
Originally Posted by Mr McGoldrick:
“I'm Scottish and I wont be voting for any of them because it would cost me money.”
“I'm Scottish and I wont be voting for any of them because it would cost me money.”
This made me laugh......from crunchie crisp when DoolallyOh refused to come off the bench.
Thought she was doing a Tevez there.
Thought she was doing a Tevez there.
From the disappointed in Antons waltz thread
Originally Posted by Lizzie60:
“Oh, was it a waltz? We were wondering in our front room what it was. Hubby thought it might have been the okey cokey and I wondered if Nancy had 2 legs down 1 knicker.”
“Oh, was it a waltz? We were wondering in our front room what it was. Hubby thought it might have been the okey cokey and I wondered if Nancy had 2 legs down 1 knicker.”
And please can we have more Noms for Post of the Day?
I thought this weekend wouldproduce plenty of material!
I thought this weekend wouldproduce plenty of material!
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“And please can we have more Noms for Post of the Day?
I thought this weekend wouldproduce plenty of material!”
“And please can we have more Noms for Post of the Day?
I thought this weekend wouldproduce plenty of material!”
How about one of your own I just had a good chuckle about in the Non-app thread!
Originally Posted by mimi dlc:
“Mr and Mrs Jordan were a bit lazy with their choreography, and both decided to base their routine on
Celeb standing still, legs akimbo, arms in the air, while one Jordan or another pats them down.
Looked like the last time I went through airport security, but with more sequins.”
“Mr and Mrs Jordan were a bit lazy with their choreography, and both decided to base their routine on
Celeb standing still, legs akimbo, arms in the air, while one Jordan or another pats them down.
Looked like the last time I went through airport security, but with more sequins.”
So very true!
From the five thoughts, this weekend thread
Originally Posted by Winehouse:
“The title of this thread sounds more like an ambitious but clearly unattainable target for Tess.”
“The title of this thread sounds more like an ambitious but clearly unattainable target for Tess.”
That is brilliant mindyann, Winehouse's comment was a coffee meets keyboard moment.
Opening post from the sadly comment lacking Opening Titles thread.
The one in bold is genius.
Opening post from the sadly comment lacking Opening Titles thread.
Originally Posted by Doktor Dances:
“Harry Judd. Posing like the warm up act in a gay club's "Find a Stripper" competition, because actually dancing in the opening title sequence of a dancing competition would be too much to ask.
Alex Jones. Having chosen to play a game of "Release The Nipple!", a favourite pastime in some of the best public schools, the final pose is reminiscent of the married couples featured in free local newspapers.
Jason Donovan. He used to be a star, once. Look, all gold ties and pointing and wondering where the cheque has been hidden. Interestingly, the images behind resemble the publicity video for a hotel on the Costas.
Chelsee Healey. We want to respect young women for who they are, not what they are, which is why we've gone for imagining this young actress as a snake with a push-up bra.
Rory Bremner. Starts as the proud partner of a beautiful wife, finishes with the fixed grin of a man who knows how cruel time has really been.
Holly Valance. Is a big enough diva....star, sorry, to get two segments. First to show she's worth it (if any advertising gurus are watching), and second to show she can do the Macarena.
Audley Harrison. "Fine, fine, just stand here...."
Edwina Currie. Imagine if Stephanie Beecham had to buy her own furniture...Looks like the wife of a Parish Councillor waving like crazy when someone asks if anyone could fit another slice of cake from the buffet...
Dan Lobb. Has perfected the 'hover hand' like the best of them.
Nancy Dell'Olio. Has perfected the 'hype over substance' like the best of them. Anton looks like the put-upon home help who has to take Madam upstairs after one too many g+ts
Russell Grant. Parading around like the Uncle who has come out after hiding his true self for 60 years, now he's free to dance with the woman next door but three who everyone suspected wore turtle necks for a reason.
Anita Dobson. Chooses the radical option of not moving at all, flirting and giggling like the check-out lady just back from Turkey with a bloke she really, really, really trusts isn't going to let her down. Again. For the third time.
Robbie Savage. Is not liking this one bit. Unless you look to the top left of the sequence, in which he looks as though he's enjoyed himself too much in the trouser department.
Lulu. Is liking this too much. Brendan looks like the put-upon fourth husband who has a tight enough grasp of the joined account to know he can tolerate this for a few more years....”
“Harry Judd. Posing like the warm up act in a gay club's "Find a Stripper" competition, because actually dancing in the opening title sequence of a dancing competition would be too much to ask.
Alex Jones. Having chosen to play a game of "Release The Nipple!", a favourite pastime in some of the best public schools, the final pose is reminiscent of the married couples featured in free local newspapers.
Jason Donovan. He used to be a star, once. Look, all gold ties and pointing and wondering where the cheque has been hidden. Interestingly, the images behind resemble the publicity video for a hotel on the Costas.
Chelsee Healey. We want to respect young women for who they are, not what they are, which is why we've gone for imagining this young actress as a snake with a push-up bra.
Rory Bremner. Starts as the proud partner of a beautiful wife, finishes with the fixed grin of a man who knows how cruel time has really been.
Holly Valance. Is a big enough diva....star, sorry, to get two segments. First to show she's worth it (if any advertising gurus are watching), and second to show she can do the Macarena.
Audley Harrison. "Fine, fine, just stand here...."
Edwina Currie. Imagine if Stephanie Beecham had to buy her own furniture...Looks like the wife of a Parish Councillor waving like crazy when someone asks if anyone could fit another slice of cake from the buffet...
Dan Lobb. Has perfected the 'hover hand' like the best of them.
Nancy Dell'Olio. Has perfected the 'hype over substance' like the best of them. Anton looks like the put-upon home help who has to take Madam upstairs after one too many g+ts
Russell Grant. Parading around like the Uncle who has come out after hiding his true self for 60 years, now he's free to dance with the woman next door but three who everyone suspected wore turtle necks for a reason.
Anita Dobson. Chooses the radical option of not moving at all, flirting and giggling like the check-out lady just back from Turkey with a bloke she really, really, really trusts isn't going to let her down. Again. For the third time.
Robbie Savage. Is not liking this one bit. Unless you look to the top left of the sequence, in which he looks as though he's enjoyed himself too much in the trouser department.
Lulu. Is liking this too much. Brendan looks like the put-upon fourth husband who has a tight enough grasp of the joined account to know he can tolerate this for a few more years....”
The one in bold is genius.
As background, someone suspects that TerryM22 might work for a tabloid. Allgrownup has narrowed the choice down!
Originally Posted by TerryM22:
“I have five favourites in this show, Russell, Lulu, Jason, Anita and Holly.”
“I have five favourites in this show, Russell, Lulu, Jason, Anita and Holly.”
Originally Posted by allgrownup:
“2 Foreigners, A homosexual and 2 gay icons. Can't be the Mail then.”
“2 Foreigners, A homosexual and 2 gay icons. Can't be the Mail then.”
Originally Posted by perdiedumpling:
“As background, someone suspects that TerryM22 might work for a tabloid. Allgrownup has narrowed the choice down!”
“As background, someone suspects that TerryM22 might work for a tabloid. Allgrownup has narrowed the choice down!”
Good one!
Some great ones from the thread on being disappointed on how Anton went about the waltz...
skimpy_scampi is replying to Captain Timber here...
Originally Posted by ianswaiting:
“Was Anton doing waltz this week?
I thought he was juggling a feather boa.”
“Was Anton doing waltz this week?
I thought he was juggling a feather boa.”
Originally Posted by Lizzie60:
“Oh, was it a waltz? We were wondering in our front room what it was. Hubby thought it might have been the okey cokey and I wondered if Nancy had 2 legs down 1 knicker.”
“Oh, was it a waltz? We were wondering in our front room what it was. Hubby thought it might have been the okey cokey and I wondered if Nancy had 2 legs down 1 knicker.”
skimpy_scampi is replying to Captain Timber here...
Originally Posted by Captain Timber:
“You can't polish a turd.”
“You can't polish a turd.”
Originally Posted by skimpy_scampi:
“No .. But ( I've heard this somewhere recently), you can roll it in glitter.
Or in this case a feather boa.”
“No .. But ( I've heard this somewhere recently), you can roll it in glitter.
Or in this case a feather boa.”
Post by Trunkster in the "Is SCD an Old Person's show"...
in relation to x-factor
in relation to x-factor
Originally Posted by trunkster:
“It's nothing to do with age, plenty of young people watch SCD.
Think of it this way : -
X Factor attracts Iceland/Farmfoods types
Strictly Come Dancing attracts Waitrose types
Fuse lit, stands well back : - )”
“It's nothing to do with age, plenty of young people watch SCD.
Think of it this way : -
X Factor attracts Iceland/Farmfoods types
Strictly Come Dancing attracts Waitrose types
Fuse lit, stands well back : - )”
Originally Posted by chachachavvy:
“May I suggest we all phone the ITT phoneline announced yesterday and just say 'Bloody Lulu'.”
“May I suggest we all phone the ITT phoneline announced yesterday and just say 'Bloody Lulu'.”
Originally Posted by Winehouse:
“I shouldn't bother ...
You will either probably end up in India or get stuck with a recorded message:
Press 1 if you wish to smack the smug Craig Revel Horwood straight between the eyes
Press 2 if you want to report the crass Len Goodman for crude and offensive remarks and repeated crimes against the Queen's English.
Press 3 if you know a good therapist for the manic Bruno
Press 4 if you actually laughed at one of Bruce's jokes and we can arrange an immediate emergency mental health check for you
Press 5 if you have a free open and expansive field somewhere in the north and would like to adopt Tess
If you prefer to speak to an operator please hold for the next 36 hours or until you actually die (whichever comes first)
Thank you for calling.”
“I shouldn't bother ...
You will either probably end up in India or get stuck with a recorded message:
Press 1 if you wish to smack the smug Craig Revel Horwood straight between the eyes
Press 2 if you want to report the crass Len Goodman for crude and offensive remarks and repeated crimes against the Queen's English.
Press 3 if you know a good therapist for the manic Bruno
Press 4 if you actually laughed at one of Bruce's jokes and we can arrange an immediate emergency mental health check for you
Press 5 if you have a free open and expansive field somewhere in the north and would like to adopt Tess
If you prefer to speak to an operator please hold for the next 36 hours or until you actually die (whichever comes first)
Thank you for calling.”
4 of 9
