Aaron: When I'm being punched in the day of release or talking about football, it's my balance on him.

Marcus: This week Faye and Maisy face the public vote. Very is mullingerver.

Jay: I was horny after dinner. She would say, give me five minutes to die. Jest my food.

Jay: I don't want bananas.
BB: Do you not like United?
Jay: Nah.

Jay: I can't confront him. If I confront him he will just go Khalil.

I am howling with laughter at all of this !!

What the actual hell?!

Does someone type all of these or is it a word recognition software or something...anyone know?

They employed a dyslexic to subtitle!

I am proud of Channel 5's equal opportunities policy.

I thought it was just me....

"Harry is showering Alex how to bake poached eggs!"

Lmao

I keep forgetting to switch them on during BB - even today when I had them on during Channel 4 news, and it came up with 'For more on our stories go to Channel4.cock'

Subtitles are in general, unintentionally the funniest part of most programmes, especially things like the news, but the subtitles on Big Brother this year have been especially funny. It's a pain sometimes though, when you do actually depend on them because of being hard of hearing.

Jay: "There is a special child come from."

[where has the special jar come from]

Louise: I just want you to know I snubbed Jay last night.

I've noticed it has a habit of calling Faye 'fake', and Maisy 'lazy'.
Kind of mean.

'Oh my god he is shaping his bumhole'

"Don't get angry with Adele"

Jem!
Look at those hills! Look at those fires!

it was up for ages too before it was corrected -

Marcus: Today is a fiction day.

Faye: I am such a geek.
Aaron: A nice deep.

Marcus: Months ago both Faye and her sister had applied to Big Brother, but neither new yacht.

Faye: Let me juicy to everyone.

Let me Juicey to them

Faye: I'm Looking forward to getting to know each other again and looking average.

I also look forward to that when my brother and I meet up...

Marcus: Jayat his orll of Aaron.