____________________________________________
From Monday's HL (missed Tuesday's, unfortunately):

(Nick on standing up to nominate):
“It’s just one of my Fabios.”
No one likes confronting their Fabio.

“…that pissed me Ofcom a bit.”
Uh-oh!

Sarah (wrt ?Joel):
“He decided to reel off tent reasons about Aaron.”
Well, he is very camp (*ba-doom tish*)

Danny:
“My second nanny is Joel again.”
He strikes me as more first nanny material...

Marcus B:
"Kevin is next to nominate."

Kieran:
"We had a conversation on the server about sleeping arrangements."
Internet access again

Jack on Jade:
“…she is trying to mini plate Nick into nominating the twins.”
Sounds painful...

Chloe:
“Can you please Tammi what I said.”

BB:
“The housemates who received the most votes in this examinations are…”

BB:
“…this week’s dominations are over.”
Aww. Don't knock off the kinky stuff.

Joel on Jade:
“She is Pollyanna.”
Umm, really?

Marcus B:
"Clemmie makes a prediction"

Marcus B:
“Karen and Sarah are talking.”

Danny (wrt Sarah):
“She lays in my bed and wants a hawk.”
That is pretty demanding.

Danny:
“It is a really hot situation at the moment.”
That's because of all the domination.

.

(phobias, off, ten, nomination, Kieran, sofa, manipulate, tell me, week's nominations, nominations, polyamorous, Chloe, Kieran, hug, hard)

(BB in preview)
“Which housemate would you affect right now?”

“[?We will go me,] you and Jake.”
Who?

Harriet:
“It’s immigrant to comment going to bite you on the arse.”
I think that's straight from the UKIP manifesto, isn't it?

"This is real mail.”
They're getting the post in there?!

Eileen:
“They are going to fall me.”
...and then you sleep with the fishes.

BB & Eileen:
“You should now lick the strawberry lolly.”
“That is chilly.”
Just an ordinary lolly then?

.

(evict, ?see Jade?, [?something like 'it's ignorant to comment and it's going to'...?], now?, fool, chilli)

Getting a bit behind here - I didn't even see the eviction.
________________________
BB:
“Kieran, Harriet and neck must hang for as long as possible.”


Nick:
“I have got us in Poole.”
They don't let just anyone into Poole, you know.

?BB (which HM said)
“Bang bag the which is dead.”
Another bang-bag related death.

Marcus B:
“Housemates are plain truth order.”
Uh-huh?

“Weldon, Jack.”
Who?

“I dead Joel and Aaron to kiss.”
Joel later claimed he preferred the death bit.

Joel:
“[I don’t want to be known as someone] who welcomed that sort of activity, who in toast it.”
Not just smokin' hot. Toasty hot.

.

(Nick, I have got a swimming pool, bang bang...the witch, playing truth or dare, well done, dared, ?enticed)

Marcus B:
“Coming up... Joel Grylls - the new housemates”
Oh well, he won't complain about basic rations.

Marc:
“Showbiz - configure?”
Advanced gameplanning?

Marcus B:
“Cristian and aid are talking about Marc.”

Chloe (wrt the new HMs):
“It is their manners.”
Chloe hates people with a lack of refinement.

?Nick ?Chloe (wrt Marc)
“It is kind of India in, he knows he’s a dick.”
Racist

Marc:
“I tried to pull the skill…”


.

(grills the new housemates, coffee, Jade, them and us, ?????, this girl)

funny read

I've got a good feeling about the subtitle struggles over the next 2-3 weeks. Marc must be a nightmare to transcribe for man and machine alike.
_______________________________
From Monday June 1st HL

Marcus B:
“Marc is feeling period.”
He's more in tune with his feminine side than anyone thought.

Cristian (on his worries around a drunken Marc):
“I thought nothing was going to break.”
That's always a concern...

(on Marc)
“He said he was Kane’s whisky at home."

(on Marc)
“Look at him in the Guardian having a shower.”
I'm not convinced that'll be an option.

Cristian (wrt Jade):
“She’d rob and massage me.”
That's pretty low.

Simon (wrt Jack)
“His immunity parcels save him.”
They're dropping parcels for him now??

“Marcus got that typical lad thing”
Really? It's difficult to tell just from the voice.

Sam (wrt Eileen being nommed):
"I swear to god it was the mine choice."
It was your choice? Or an explosive choice?

“…I don’t think there will be two people protection.”
One bodyguard each will do.

Marc (wrt Eileen’s nom):
“I almost build the task to tell her.”

.

(bleary-eyed, ?my thing, he canes whisky, in the garden, rub, pass will, Marc has got, wasn’t my choice, up for eviction, failed the task)

Jade is Pollyanna

Simon:
“I think Jordan needs to be involved a bit more.”
We haven't seen much of him, it's true.

Sam (nominating):
“[We are thinking] if dead win then what...”
Someone's been watching Charlie Brooker's zombie thing.

Marc:
“I do want a formula walls.”
Well who doesn't?

Simon:
“The anger people should be lapping up the older people.”
Well that sounds like a really weird porno. (What he actually said sounded pretty weird.)

Simon (on what house-sharing is about):
“…sometimes it’s about beating the toilet.”
Well it can be aggravating sometimes, I suppose.

Eileen (to Jack):
“The Judaea do that!”
...and we're the f***ing People's Front of Judaea!

“I get on with Emma’s house.”
She's not the landlord you know.

(Hot Chocolate sings):
“#I believe in radicals”
Oh wait - this is the Islamic State remix.

.

(Joel, that if he did win, want to inform you alls, younger people, ?cleaning, don’t you dare, ?everyone in this house, believe in miracles)

****ing brilliant

_______________________________
Just a few from June 3rd HLs:

Marc:
“Tammy how good-looking I am.”
Marc's imaginary friend always tells him he's gorgeous.

Chloe:
“Hamley brothers do I have?”
Um... yes?

Brother Harry (on which HM gameplaying comes naturally to):
“Do you feel like the salmon really has to work hard at it?”
Evil salmon?

Nick:
"Me and Jane have a really weird relationship."
She never talks back to him...

Nick to Harry:
"I miss my old bird that you stole."
That's no way to talk about Jane.

?Jade:
“Harry is next type of girl.”
Next!

HMs (wrt Simon's DR comments):
“That is the cordon.”
He looks nothing like him.

.

(tell me, how many, Simon, Jade, bed, Nick's, ?appalling)

Marcus B:
“The BB house has been transformed into the baiter baiter house.”
Isn't it always like that?

?Joel on Marc:
“…he’s not always the same as the axe on the outside.”
Um - that's something I suppose...?

Marcus B:
“Jade and Joe are teasing Nick.”

Chloe on Simon:
“I would get his suitcase and help impact.”
You'd smack him with it?

Simon:
“I am crying, loo look.”
Simon's eyes are as wet as flushing toilets.

.

(beta beta, he acts, Joel, him pack, look)

Eileen’s ‘Beau’:
“Joel would be the same great fruit and a boiled egg.”

Simon:
“…and Mike fabulous assistant.”
Her name is Sam

?Joel on ?Eileen:
“This sequence can it did well.”
Well of course. Who could manage without a sequence tin?

“Is it true or falls”
“Drew.”
I don’t understand this game.

Marcus B:
“Simon has been in the die room for…”
OK, that’s histrionic.

Chloe (on what she doesn’t want from Simon):
“…to listen to well is me."
Hoping for him to get ill seems a bit harsh.

.

(grapefruit, my fabulous assistant Sam, sequinned-[something], true or false...true, diary room, woe is me)

(whilst handing over a gift box)
“I do like this kid.”
There's a child trapped in there??

?Sam (wrt the gift-giving)
“That was night.”
...when the child was kidnapped?

Jack (on why he's giving Simon this gift):
“Because of the weight he has been in this house.”
Dangerous ground, Jack.

Chloe/Simon:
“…you are missing coma new.”
They must be really bored.

?Sam:
“Terror is a paper bag about to fall in the pool.”
Intriguing metaphor...

BB:
“Some and Simon up for eviction.”
Did they just get bored with counting?

Marcus B:
“Harry is teaching Jack some moose.”
The language??

.

(gift, nice, way, home now, there is, Sam, moves)

Nothing special - annoyingly accurate for the most part.
_____________
?Chloe:
“I love raising.”
Secret baker?

Marc (wrt Harry):
“I have freight to be myself around her.”
Cargo cult?

“My economic nation is Sam.”


“I love Joel two bit.”
Sounds like a pirate.

Jack:
"I love a cross."
Cristian's right, he does channel Jesus.

.

(raving, I am afraid, second nomination, to bits, croissant)

I just caught one from last night's (June 8th) HLs, but it's a nice image:

BB:
“Will Simon stand up and stamp aside the well.”

.

(stand beside)

(wish, in recap):
“I wish Michael would stop picking on people."
Did Sallie Axl sneak one in there?

?Joel ?Jack:
“Mick Blue £30,000 in three weeks.”
Wasn't that a Hugh Grant film?

Harry (on being invited to the dance routine):
“But I am in the bar.”
Booze comes first boys.

Marc:
“When you light so much you get caught out.”
Bloody arsonists.

.

(Mark, Nick blew, bath, lie so much)

(On Marc):
“He is changing to Marcus in the evening.”
That must be confusing.

(On who fancies women but doesn’t like sex):
“Nixon said.”
I thought I'd heard everything about him.

(On what might have happened under covers)
"A full on case close Marc kiss."
Case closed. No doubt about it.

.

(Marc ?, Nick said that, a full on kiss [question mark])

Chloe to Danny:
"Daddy you are the golden box."
There's so much we haven't been told...

Marcus B (trailing):
"...and Jade has a shock across."
Not the shock suits AGAIN...

Marcus B:
"Jolt and Danny stocktaking."
...some of the HMs are becoming permanently electrified and...

Marc:
“Who else is internet?”
Blimey.

Nick:
"I am literally banned from dead now."
Like the opening credits of Mr Bean?

Harry (?on what's worrying her)
“The whole next thing.”
The future is scary.

Marcus B:
“Coming up, Jade gets Tom tie.”
Sounds kinky.

Joel & Cristian:
“You know I didn’t mean that thing.”
“Yeah, well I’ll torture a bit.”


.

(Danny...?open the golden box, Jade’s shock crush, Joel and Danny, is eating it, ?bed, whole Nick thing, tongue tied, talk to you in a bit)

That would be some shopping task.

Thank you for these; they're great.

Yes indeed


_________________
I could barely keep up last night...

Emma W (on Jade):
“Borehamwood’s answer to mother to raise her.”
Endemol has a line of substitute mums.

Marc (wrt Harry and Nick):
"I don’t know if it is passing about"
[corrected to] "…bossing about"
Well she is a dominatrix.

Marcus B:
“…two boats...united I be.”
Um. It's been a long week.

Marcus:
“Biting closes in tonight's show.”
Thank goodness for that.

BB to Jack:
“Big Brother is going to set you an omission.”
Could you just disappear for a bit, Jack? Thanks.

Marcus B:
"Jack is ladder ring up in the bathroom.”
I don't know what that means and I don't want to know.

Joel:
"We have got some duty products."
...like this National Service kit endorsed by the Tory party.

Simon on Marc:
"He has more means than me.”

Nick (wrt Harry etc)
“I should be going where my parts wants."


Joel on Marc:
“…just in bite our next speaker.”
Come on! Let's pitbull the bastard!

Marc:
“…not being taken to Sirius.”
A long and certainly fatal journey.

Emma W:
“The housemate with most votes and aids to be evicted is… Mark”
That's an awful way to tell him!

Brian B:
“I would least like to be duck in the bunker with Helen Wood.”
That sounds like another euphemism.

Emma W:
“Big Brother legends Hannah Wood and Brian Belo.”
Who? Still, anyone's better than Helen Wood.

BB (to Marc):
“Let the rest of the resonance of the bunker know”
The spirits of Michelle, Kinga and Spiral still linger...

(coming up on BOTS)
“Eileen Welby is singing”
Who?

.

(Mother Teresa, p*ssing, two votes [etc], voting, a secret mission, lathering up, beauty, mince, heart wants, invite, too serious, eighth, stuck, Helen, residents, will be)

Marcus B (recaps):
“Three housemates faced the public road.”

Marcus B:
“Simon and Jack’s men’s identities must remain under wraps.”
Put some pants on, guys. (Maybe even cover your arse, Jack.)

Joel (on who the ninjas are):
“It is Simon and question!”
Typical politician - always answering one question with another.

?Sam to ?Harry:
“It was coming in and you jailed naturally.”
More work for the dominatrix, locking people in cages.

Brian B:
"The nursery rhyme: Big Bear, baby back."
I believe that particular nursery rhyme is credited to Sir Mixalot.

(commenting on Marc's exit):
"It is refreshing there will be a new five in the house now."
A new five HMs along with the old four? Wouldn't surprise me.

.

(vote, ninja, Cristian, gelled, baby bear, vibe)

Emma W:
"[We have] pulled the will of our housemates eyes.”
They're staring at all kinds of random stuff now. Ha!

(our body language expert...)
“Julie Jones”

(Who's in the bunker?)
“Mark Bryant, Helen and Nikki.”
Mark Bryant the Bishop of Jarrow?

Marc (to Nikki, wrt his arse):
“It is not muscle it is all fat, Felix”
Her name is Nikki.

Emma W (wrt Helen):
“One man who managed to stay on her right side all the time is here. He is marked.”
That seems easy to believe.

Marc (talking about superheroes):
“The hog became the hog through gamma radiation.”
The hog that often teamed up with spiderpig?

(Bunker Diary Room)
"Question for John..."
Why are you so quiet?

Emma (re Brian):
“He wants to bring funds.”
He's paying to be in there.

Nikki (on Harry):
“She’s filed.”
Ooh... she's on the naughty list?

Nikki:
“I am beyond say and she is a backing dancer.”
Nikki believes she is too awesome to talk about.

(on Harry)
“She is using net.”
Ugh. The Katie Hopkins wi-fi is still operational then.

Chloe:
“I’m cloudy.”
OK.

.

(wool, Judy James, Mark...Brian...Helen, feel it, Mark Byron, The Hulk, Joel, fun, vile, Beyoncé, Nick, Chloe)

(Was out - only caught the last 8 minutes.)
__________________________

Helen (imitating Cristian):
"Yeah Brooks"
That's ridiculous. Only rappers call each other 'Brooks'.

Danny (to Harry):
"Are you p*ssed off because knickers not here now?"
I don't think she minds that.

.

(bruv, Nick is not here)

Marcus B:
“The time whop housemates caused havoc.”
Ouch! No one wants to get time-whopped.

Nikki (wrt Joel's sunglasses):
“Heroes are these.”
Poetry?

Brian B:
“Do I still have commented 27?”

Joel (wrt Marc):
“He is an actual eight.”
Cutting.

Harry, Cristian:
“There is a spin in that drawer.”
“Why would I want one?”
“You are staring it up.”
I'd probably stare at a drawer if there was something spinning in it.

Helen or Nikki:
“Why would Brown want to leave now?”
Racist.

.

(time-warp, whose, hormones at, ape, spoon...stirring, Brian)

Plus, probably my favourite of the series so far:

?Marc:
“Bomb liqueurs!”
Oh no! Even the chocolates aren't safe!


.

(bum-lickers)