The subtitles have been annoyingly good recently (from my POV - presumably people who really need them are finding BB less trippy atm). I notice they've started having them on BOTS again, but I'm not going to watch especially for them.
______________________________
Austin (wrt Janice):
“She is not the Queen of reality in The South.”
It's a regional title, is it?

Chloe (wrt Stevie sharing the bath with porn stars):
“Natasha said: are you cable with that?”
Electrocution seems a bit harsh.

Jenna vs Janice:
“You are not shellfish?”
Easy mistake to make.

Austin (to Janice wrt Gail):
“Who unpacked your dad?”
Where to start with that??

.

(this house, OK with that, selfish, your bags)

Still haven't noticed much, although I'm sort of wandering in and out on it atm.
I almost noted 'housemaid' yesterday before realising that for the first time ever it was being used correctly.

_________________
Austin to Daniel:
“You don’t go around saying I am Able Doing.”
Well no, that would be silly.

Paul:
“I’m going to find it difficult dealing with allowed Americans.”
Yes they shouldn't be allowed really.

.

(a Baldwin, loud)

Marcus B:
“…and a new arrival causes a right royal bus stop.”
It cuts the Queen's travel time to Lidl by 15 minutes.

Marcus B:
“King Bobby and Queen Sherrie rain over them.”
They won't like that.

(Paul tells all the 'servants' they should now clear up together. Janice sits back down.)
?Jenna:
"Wise Janice sitting down."
There's a heavy overlap between reason and laziness.


BOTS

Ben Dover (wrt Jenna):
"There is a lot more of hurt to know."
Oh dear.

Rylan (wrt Austin & James's bromance):
“Is the French it real?”
They're snogging now?!

.

(royal bust-up, reign, why is, hurt, friendship)

Still not much going on.
___________________
Marcus B
"The Big Brother Voting App. Where to vote Scott - 99p."
But he's not even in the show.

Austin to Janice:
"It takes you to minister crossing a room."
Well there isn't always one there.

.

(costs, ten minutes)

Marcus B:
“Judges Bobby and Janet will measure…”
Not her again.

Austin (wrt ?Janice)
“She’s a fat in the wind as far as I’m concerned.”
Curious image.

BB:
“…fellow Americans cast the remaining relations.”
Throwing auntie round the room.

Stevie (in the pool):
“SCREAMS It is so golf.”
I can't keep up with modern slang.

.

(Janice, fart in the wind, nominations, cold)

:d :d :d

____________________________
Oops forgot to do yesterday's...
___________________________
(?An American, re upcoming noms):
“That is why Natasha bust my eyebrows.”
Ouch!

Janice:
“My priorities are first - mice - a variety.”
Her pets are important to her?

(On what the Brits did to the Americans):
“They took hours away.”
There's a lot of time-wasting going on.

.

(?brushed, ?my sobriety, ours)

Marcus B:
“…and attorney James representing UK.”
I don't fancy the UK's chances in court.

(Competition time!)
“[Big Brother fans] have tuned in to redness celebrities warts and all.”
Orangeness maybe.

Jenna:
“If I get a used infection, my God…”
Oh yeah, you don't want a used one. Fresh infections are a must.

Janice:
“I am distorted.”
Hard to deny. (she looks a bit like this –––> actually)

Stevie to Chloe:
“If courtiers I want to win this task.”
Are they sending more people with royal connections in?

.

(it’s only, ?witness, ??urinary [she had just said she'd got cheese stuck in her vagina in the task ], disturbed [at what Natasha said], ??of course it does [distress him that they're being separated])

?Natasha:
“Boy’s are more rain than girls”
I've heard that human beings are mostly water, but this is new.

Gail on Austin:
“I’ve been through a lot of stuff. But fasting for him to come here and stand up in front of a lot of people...”
Gail objects to having to stop eating for Austin's speech.

.

(vain, ??it's a big thing??)

Farrah (commenting on Natasha):
“Because you are this respect for person.”
Farrah likes that Natasha embodies respect.

(Competition)
“Royal Big Brother viewers have tuned in to witness celebrities.…”
So only the Windsors can enter this competition?
__
James:
“Festival I would class myself as the least talented person here.”
Someone tell him he's not at a festival.

Scoop to James (wrt Jarrah's likely reaction):
“So who’s next for amenity? You.”
Seems a little unlikely.

.

(a disrespectful person, loyal, first of all, immunity)

Marcus B:
“Two boats cost 99p”
The bargain returns.

Natasha to Jennna:
“You have taken flower under your wing [which is understandable].”
When combating boredom even unlikely forms of flower-pressing may be tried.

(Best bits - intro)
“It's Fat Ma Scoop. Yeah Fat Ma Scoop.”
Looking good mum.

Scoop:
“Is I’d known it was this hard I’d have charged three times my fee. Out of fear bro.”
The idea of being underpaid is scary.

(Gail is evicted)
“I love you Dale!”
Clearly not very much.

.

(votes, Farrah, Fat Man Scoop, I'm outta here bro, Gail)

Please do, I'm grinning so far

Edit - Oops sorry - I've just realised this is a long, long thread and I replied to a post at the beginning.

Very funny thread!!

My favourite thread by far, been creased laughing. Please keep them coming

Welcome (and welcome back).

Jancee hasn't been here for a bit, but she always returns sooner or later.
I think they've improved the software for rendering the subtitles recently which means fewer eye-poppers (good news for people who actually need them), but as long as there's a trickle they'll make their way onto here.

?Bobby:
“TV, are you OK?”
Housemates worry they may be damaging the whole medium.

Marcus B:
“Bobby and Scoop art discussing...”
The Geordie goes a bit Shakespearean.

Jenna:
“[We've all got close to each other.] Weak bond.”
Not very close then.

.

(Stevie, are, we['ve] bond[ed])

These are so funny trumbles .
I put subtitles on for my mum but rarely notice them myself .
Keep 'em coming ,

__________________________________
Chloe (reciting for exercise rhythm):
“...and one for the little boy who lives down the line.”
Updated nursery rhymes take account of train networks.

Chloe wrt Stevie:
“We will unblock his paws.”
Woah! We really wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Austin:
“There is M’Vila me.”
That's a particularly weird split-personality.

(Farrah is instructed to become the house foot masseuse)
“What if I’m scared of their fee?”
A committed foot-fetishist speaks

?Bobby (at the ouija board wrt the ‘spirit’ of Austin):
“[If you’re unhappy about losing your bed partner go to Chloe]. If you feel relieved, go to Faro.”
Portugal seems a long way to go to get away from James.

Marcus B:
“Coming up, Austin analyses teen USA.”
Um, OK.

Austin:
“I’ve got the Braun and Jenna’s got the brains.”
He doesn't have much going for him, but he can shave his head whenever you like.

Marcus B:
“Whose days? You decide.”

.

(lane, pores, envy in me, feet, Farrah, team USA, brawn, who stays?)

Bobby & Stevie:
“What age are you today?”
”Certify”


Farrah (on what the day is about):
“...honouring Stevie and Anna.”
...whoever she is.

Natasha:
“The housemaid I will choose to save is Sherrie.”
Sh! Giving the game away!

(Why Chlovie are saving Bobby)
“his don’t give a shy attitude.”


Farrah:
“Whenever I don’t give a sh!t, I will just date myself.”
Yeah that'll fix it.

.

(35, Nanna, housemate, ?shite, whatever...??be??)

Austin:
“Given that every grain has progressed against Farrah so far...”
She does go against the grain.

Jenna (wrt to Chloe, Janice, etc):
“...a fragile peace of sh!t.”
That sounds very 1938 (unlike Chloe who sounds... I dunno... 1920s?)

________

Marcus B:
“Coming up: Barbie and Austin clash”
Blimey, Barbie's let herself go...

Austin:
“Gemma didn’t do the best she could.”
She contributed nothing at all really.

(Letter from home)
“P.S. anti-gave birth to a baby boy.”
She hoovered one up??

.

(game, piece of sh!t, Bobby, Janice, ?Auntie)

Janice:
“I respect Chloe-Jasmine, Myra job here [is just to do with sobriety].”
What Myra? Not that Myra?

?Janice (wrt ?Austin):
“She nominated me and micro Bobby.”
I doubt he likes to be called that.

Jenna (wrt James nomming Austin):
“That is like Vera nominating me.”
Like betrayal by an imaginary friend?

?James:
“I am in danger scam.”


Bobby (wrt Austin):
“Do us all a favour and victor this man”
Bobby really wants Austin to win

James:
“It’s not an easy thing for me to die.”
Pity

.

(my job, [think this was supposed to be 'macro' - so not a word at all], Farrah, ??dangerous ground??, evict, do)

Sherrie to Janice:
“I didn’t say you were alive.”
Zombie Janice must not be insulted!

Austin (re James):
“I don’t want to cause any fictional house.”
No indeed. This is (notionally) a reality show.

Jenna:
“I have always had a big brown butt.”
A surprising condition for a white woman.

?Janice:
"To NATO tomato..."
...let's call the whole thing off before war breaks out.

.

(liar, friction in the house, big round butt, tomato tomato potato potato])

Eamonn Holmes:
“The public have decided that the faceless housemate is Stevie and Chloe-Jasmine.”
I wish we'd seen less of them tbh.

Eamonn Holmes:
“Was James Wright to nominate Austin?”
Who?

Marcus B (wrt Chlovie):
“…about being named the faintest housemate.”
She does look prone to an 'attack of the vapours'.

Janice to Chloe-J:
“Twilight you ever?”
Janice searches for common reading experiences.

BB to Jenna:
“What was it like sharing a team with Dennis?”


?Bobby:
“All the nice ones I hear.”
Bobby has selective deafness.

Natasha (to James/Austin):
“You are the two biggest floats.”
That doesn't sound nice.

Austin (wrt James going to bed):
“I want to document.”
OK that's getting a little obsessive.

Marcus B:
“…James, that Asher, Jerry, Stevie and Chloe-Jasmine all face the public vote”
Here's hoping That Asher wins.

.

(fakest, right, fakest, do I lie to you, Janice, are here [in the final], flirts, tuck you in, Natasha...Sherrie)

I think this had better be done in two bits...
____________________________________
Emma W:
"Famous faces - our ex has mates."
Don't you hate it when everyone likes your ex?

James:
"I’ve never seen a celebrity or meta-celebrity before."
Is 'meta-celebrity' one down from 'z-list'?

?Sherrie:
"There are semi people in there."
That's not nice. (NTS: insert Stevi/Chloe joke here.)

Emma W to Bobby:
"Go into your girls!"


Emma W:
“Two juggernaut house rates remain.”
The BB house council tax is exorbitant.

Natasha:
"Janus can fight her own battles."
OK even Janice doesn't confuse herself with Olympian gods.

Emma W:
"[We're going to meet your winner] ...but not before Aaron dishes up all the dead."


.

(ex-housemates, met a celebrity, so many nice people, ?go and see, housemates, Janice, Austin...dirt)

...maybe three bits...
____________________________
Austin (wrt James):
"…we've been sharing man tabs."
I'm sure you have.

Austin (?wrt spanking?):
"[?Thank you] Nano!"
Quite a techno-funky nickname for Sherrie.

Austin (wrt why James and him got on):
"Similar agent"
PR-based bromance.

Emma W (to Austin):
"Here are your best bets.”
Mostly James, really - although you are supposed to be married.

(countdown to James leaving)
"Eczema 10 9 8 7..."
Marcus seems to be allergic to James.

James (on what doesn’t work):
"...having an argument, screaming and charting."
Oh God yeah, I hate it when people draw up charts in the middle of a row.

Jenna to Gail (recap):
"If you’re tooth sensitive, leave."
That's not fair. People with dentistry issues have every right to stay.

BB (recap):
"You are all now celebrity Big Brother finance."
Shh! Giving the game away!

.

(tub, nanna, similar age and from similar stock, best bits, ??here's your winner??, shouting, are too sensitive, finalists)

Rylan to Emma:
“Another finale Andy Bell.”
Not even close

Emma W (wrt James):
“He is a bloodied charmer.”
She thinks he's a psycho!

?Rylan to Emma (?)
“Is is Tim, James as well"
Who?

Rylan:
“Gail is Genesis butter-bitch”
Not just any old butter-bitch, the origin of them all.

Natasha (wrt whether Bobby would stay friends with HMs):
"He said Republicans each other when we get out."
He'll talk to them like Donald Trump?

Rylan (to Tasha and Bobby):
"There is no drying you have been fantastic housemates."
Decent housemates, but a bit wet.

Luisa:
“Farrah founded tell areas”
Are those like speak-easies?

(pornstar potential awards...)
"Austin for his midnight hung."

"Chloevie for their star antics."


Austin (in recap):
"[I'm glad] the hot straight guy is not an object."
You say that now...

.

(under your belt, bloody, is it him, Janice’s, ?we probably wouldn't see each other, denying, found it hilarious, humping...storeroom, nobhead)
______________________________________________
OK that's it for CBB16. For anyone still reading this I'll see you in January.