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Old 08-10-2011, 15:10
letitshine
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Posts: 22

Hey all anyone here into song writing ?

check out my song/lyrics and see what you think


Title - I will be with you

Saw your eyes in the bright lights
all the tears tumbling down
how could you be so alone
stranger you were once to me
you told me
that your life
was a tragedy
it broke my heart
tore me apart
from the first breath
I knew you didn't see how
special you were

-------
Verse 2

when you reached out
we were meant to be
in your eyes I saw the big time
love for a lifetime
Now I know your name

-------
Chorus

The bright lights of the street lights
can never fade you out
you're a star
beautiful
I don't have to wish and wonder
what you are
because you were the love of a lifetime
that was taken before her/his time
And my heart
beats in your name
As long I dream
You live on
One day I will be with you
I will be with you

Verse 3
-------
I write your name
everywhere I go for the whole world to know
because you made me strong again
that's you're deserved fame
we can be together
I know that's true
They won't ever know you , Like I do
Im here
Standing out in the moonlight:
tonight in your spotlight
I know you're there
Im calling out to you

( Repeat chorus x1 )

------
Verse 4

My heart won't give up
I will never let you fade
because all my life
I will say your name

You will always be my star
im calling out to you

Instrumental...Interlude... Breakdown (guitar, piano builds up in pace) Crecendo
ahahahahahahaaa

(repeat x1 chorus)

Ending – guitar slows down
I know I will be with you
Outro/endtro
-----
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Old 08-10-2011, 17:23
SexiRokStarr
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Thats actually really good!!!!
What kind of genre and instrumental would you do???
And who would sing it??
Because I'm finding it hard to imagine it but you got talent.
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Old 08-10-2011, 17:50
Randy Gibbons
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That's rather lovely. Have you got a tune as well?

If you can do a few more of that quality you should consider getting someone to demo them, and then you never know, you might make a few bob!

Oh! Make sure you do all the legal stuff like establishing copywrite and so on.
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Old 08-10-2011, 22:29
letitshine
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Thank you for your great and honest feedback very much appreciative
I have a few more I've written will post them on here, Wanted to see what the good and honest digi spy forum members thought just been writing for a while and want to be successful at song writing professionally. Im not a pro yet by any means. Im mainly have come to write ballads and write as much as I can. havent got a tune to it yet. but have written a few chords for an intro.

So who would you imagine singing this song?
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Old 09-10-2011, 09:05
SexiRokStarr
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For a male I could see Bruno Mars maybe?
For a female I could see Xtina or Alicia Keys

Sorry if you disagree
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Old 09-10-2011, 13:11
letitshine
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I totally agree with you without doubt
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Old 09-10-2011, 13:42
SexiRokStarr
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I totally agree with you without doubt
who???
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Old 09-10-2011, 23:43
letitshine
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with the choice of Bruno Mars. His rich emotive vocals would really move this song along
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Old 09-10-2011, 23:45
letitshine
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Heres another song im working on - see what you think

BROKEN

Verse 1
--------------
Can you hear me?
Reach out
if you can,
Wake up
look around and
don’t let go,
There’s a soul
that’s lost here
without you.

Verse 2
--------------
It’s simple
Clear as all
you see
As you walk away
Think about
All I gave to you

Do you really want it left untold

Chorus

I’m lost in my mind
Have no control
Loosing my life
Just come back Save me now
That’s my cry to you
Can’t you see I am breaking?
Do you hear my heart calling?
So impaled so in love and
I’m broken

Verse 3
-----------------
Through the darkness
Theres a true light
that shines through
An endless life time
with you.
But Now I'm lost in the rain, left to be denied in heart breaking pain,
I still hear all the things you say,
Nothing to fear
How could you walk away?
Leave me, in this cruel fate.
I feel condemned so faded.
For loving you but loving you
Is all I can do.
Oh loving you is all I can do

Repeat chorus x1

Verse 4
----------

What’s left to say
If it’s all gone
When you want to
End as good bye
I still feel the same
I’m holding on
Still feeling the pain
Memories don’t fade
Because you’ve gone away
I won’t take the blame
For loving you but loving you
Is all I can do
oh loving you is all I can do.

Chorus x1 to bridge

Piano - guitar slow paced - breakdown

Outro ----

And when you look back On this day
When you hear whispers of my name
Maybe then you might feel the same
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Old 09-10-2011, 23:45
Carly_Thompson
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I like it, it's pretty good and you've chosen some pretty interesting lyrics.

I see Bruno Mars for a male too. Possibly Leona Lewis for a female!
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Old 09-10-2011, 23:48
letitshine
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hey Carly thanks for the feedback
I appreciate you can really feel the story of the song

And great choices
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Old 10-10-2011, 01:12
belfastkid
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Just a little issue OP.

Its spelt Crescendo.

But nice work. I always like people who go into song writing. Shows a different intelligence than just writing pop bubblegum stuff,
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Old 10-10-2011, 12:49
letitshine
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Thanks belfastkid
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Old 10-10-2011, 13:16
Smudged
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Put most of your effort into the music as that's far more important than the lyrics, especially when it comes to pop songs. No-one's going to care about the lyrics if the song is rubbish.
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Old 10-10-2011, 13:31
letitshine
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Will do but appreciate all your feedback
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Old 10-10-2011, 22:50
allthatyouwant
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Love how personal your songs are letitshine, am a bit of a keen songwriter myself and would love to make this a sticky thread and see what everyone else can come up with - this is one of my efforts, would love any feedback!


Don’t Tell Me

It breaks my heart something chronic
Not everything can be historic
Something’s simply have to fade away

Everybody says I got to believe
But sometimes I forget I need to breathe
And I don’t think I can face the world today

Oh, we used to drown together
But now we’re sinking in the shallow end


Don’t tell me it’s over
Don’t tell me we’ve come to the end of the road
I still see the light at the end of the tunnel
I know that we’ve got a long way to go
Don’t raise that white flag baby
Don’t tell me I’ll be okay maybe
Don’t tell me


I thought that I was strong and stable
But suddenly you turned the tables
You left me feeling two foot tall

Been holding back the rage inside me
Don’t want to feel hurt and angry
I need to put my pride before this fall

Oh, you used to make me a better person
Now I can’t look at my own reflection


Don’t tell me it’s over
Don’t tell me we’ve come to the end of the road
I still see the light at the end of the tunnel
I know that we’ve got a long way to go
Don’t raise that white flag baby
Don’t tell me I’ll be okay maybe
Don’t tell me


I realise my tears were all because of you
And now I’m drowning when I should be in love with someone new
I can’t believe it took so long for me to break free
Without you, I can be who I want to be


So you can tell baby that you think it’s over
And you can tell me that we’ve come to the end of the road
I’ll just keep running for the light at the end of the tunnel
And you know that you’ve got a long way to go alone
I’m telling you that it’s over
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Old 20-10-2011, 10:16
letitshine
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Hey sorry about late reply... this is awesome ! I really like your style. Thanks for the compliments for my songs too
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Old 24-10-2011, 17:21
letitshine
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heres another one im working on

chorus

lost my breath in a place that takes my chances,
and here it goes my heart beating don't you hear the sound of being alive,
oh o the skies are opening there goes fear,
all the stars shining my life's just gone supernova.
Lost my breath in a place that takes my chances,
all the universe colliding here we are into each other,
here it goes my heart beating
oh o dont you hear the sound of being alive,
made for each other
so much we live to find
real love real life for each other
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