Evening all
Hope everyone is well
Originally Posted by killingtime:
“He told you why he went back. He wasn't happy with the situation he was in. He wanted Josie to learn a lesson. He couldn't stay here feeling insecure in the relationship and with regards to how Josie felt about him. He needed to go home, to his friends, to his family, to a safe, controlled and familiar environment, he was stressed out and had nothing left to give.
I just think there were too many major changes too fast and the demands took their toll. In terms of work commitments and catering not only to his own emotional needs but also someone else's ie Josie. His support network of friends he'd had all his life were stripped away thousands of miles away across the other side of the world and sure he could talk to them by phone when time differences allowed but it's just not the same as them being in his life on a daily basis, dropping in and hanging/chilling out at his place, laughing and joking around, playing football, watching movies etc.
Not to mention having to deal with fan, media, public intrusion into his personal life, everyone asking questions, scrutinising and judging every word out of his mouth, making assumptions, hurling abuse not only at him but people close to him.
Some of the most stressful things you can do in life are moving home, changing jobs, entering a new relationship, he tried to do all three at once, result? overload, it was too much.
They also told us that they did try resolving issues between them on numerous occasions but the same patterns kept repeating themselves anyway, arguments, anger, hurt on both sides, apologies, temporary fixes and patches sometimes forced fixes due to them having to put on a show as the happy JJJ couple , short periods where things were fine and then back again to arguing etc etc until it eventually reached a point where things had gotten really nasty between them and they couldn't be around each other anymore and it couldn't go on the way it had been, so their solution a time out, space from each other to decide what they actually wanted from each other and for themselves.
I think he loved her too in his own way but I think he needs above all else stability and to feel comfortable/secure in his own environment to be truly happy. Just my own thoughts but I think he likes to be in control, to have structure, to have someone he can put his trust and faith in, someone he can rely on so he doesn't feel lonely and he likes to feel NEEDED.
Joise doesn't really need those things in the same way, she's been a loner most of her life, John said to her in the house 'hey Jose you're a bit of a loner aren't you, think i'll try and be a loner too from now on ay' she likes adventure, new experiences, she likes having a home base sure but she doesn't really NEED one, her true home base is, was and always will be Bristol whether she's actually there or not. She likes having friends and has life long ones she can trust but she's a people person who can make friends easily so she doesn't NEED them in quite the same way that John seems to but most of all I think she just wants be loved, for someone to LOVE her who she can then LOVE in return, fully, completely and without fear that one day they are going to leave her. With John I don't think she ever felt that which I also think is why she kept testing him 'Go back to Australia' 'You never really loved me did you John' and in the end it therefore became a self fulfilling prophecy.
Maybe but if so not necessarily for the reason you think. It could just be that with Josie being in a new relationship now he knows he's probably not going to get endless tweets telling him,asking him or begging him to get in contact with her to work things out which whether he's in a new relationship himself or not would tend to piss you off no? especially if he has no desire to do so either now or in the future and even if he did it would still piss you off because no one likes being told what to do, particularly John or Josie, I've really felt for both at times when fans try and run their lives for them by giving them interfering sorry I mean well meaning advice! It's kind of insulting not to mention disrespectful because what it's really saying to someone is I know better than you how you should be running your life.
His actual words words were, 'You do what you have to do Josie, no more games' if that's what you're refering to? if so I think that was just a comment on what he believed were her twitter lies about being on a break still when in his mind they were actually broken up.
I suspect part of him probably did and maybe that also fed into their 'we had issues' problems. It would be hard for any partner to be sidelined the way John was sometimes, no matter how none egotistical you are which I think John was in that sense. What I mean is I don't think he resented or was jealous of her popularity with fans/media and the opportunites which were offered to her as a result but no one wants to be treated like just the girlfriend/boyfriend of XXXXXX rather than a person in their own right do they.
The problem with that supposition is that even though you want to think and believe certain things with regards to John (ie a wish, a hope which is ok) you're also at the same time assigning motives/tactics to Josie as if they are fact rather than just your own opinion and by doing so others some may read it and get wound up as a result. Not saying if they do it entitles them to come on SHOUTING at you, it doesn't but words have meaning/impact and people can and do get upset as a result.
All of the above but specificaly if you're talking about 'you need to learn a lesson' he explained that too, 'If I don't go you'll just call my bluff again won't you' ie if next time you tell me to go back to Australia , I say I'm going and then don't you'll just keep on saying it and things will never change or get better for us. Josie at the flat after 'I need to learn to talk not get angry'. Think that's all it was really.
I think it's ok to be cross, or frustrated, or amused, or a hundred and one other things just don't get personal about it with other posters one it's like you say an over reaction, two it's against DS rules and three at the end of the day it's just one other persons opinion and if you can't take reading what someone else has to say if it doesn't match your own take on things then an interent discussion site isn't exactly the place to be.”
Great post
