Originally Posted by lms30:
“OMG, hope it's not ten years, although I do agree no matter how long the spark will always be there. I actually think John knows this and is staying away deliberately because he knows he would be drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I think he wants her to enjoy the lifestyle she has now, the job and parties etc and felt he was holding her back and so has made this sacrifice because he thinks this will make her happy. This isn't the first time I've said/thought this and I have to be honest, I do feel a bit of a numpty for saying it because I would normally say no-one would be that "giving" but I can't think of any other reason why he changed.”
You don't sound like a numpty to me! I think it's a bit of both, John thinking he was leaving for her but also leaving for himself because he couldn't handle the volatility of their relationship. He said that he couldn't be over here and feel insecure in that department and I really do believe this was a strong reason why he went...he couldn't cope with her telling him to go home everytime they had an argument, as though she obviously didn't mean it, John is just as insecure as she is and with no support over in the UK, at times I bet he felt incredibly alone and didn't even know why he was over here.
People have said before that John's inexperience in relationships attributed to the downfall of the relationship and I agree. As much as he knew Josie's 'charlie big potatoes' act was all bravado, I think the more and more they argued, the more he convinced himself that what she was saying way real. John said over and over again in the house that he thought Josie only said she loved him because she knew how much he loved and cared for her and I guess the more they argued and she pushed him away, the more his decided this was true.
This fits in with him saying he was leaving for her to figure out what she really wants and if that was him, but unfortunately when he went back to OZ everything just went t*ts up!
Both behaved terribly to each other and in my opinion you wouldn't react so strongly if there weren't some mahoosive feelings involved