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Lyrics which make you laugh |
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Glasgow,Scotland
Posts: 775
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Lyrics which make you laugh
Many years ago when I was a hospital radio DJ I used to do this feature about ridiculous song lyrics : eg
ABC - "That was then, this is now" included the lines "can't complain, musn't grumble, help yourself to another piece of apple crumble" Duran Duran - "Is there something I should know" included "don't say you're easy on me, you're about as easy as a nuclear war" The absolute best/worst has to be Des'ree song "Life" which has the most dire lyrics of all time : "I'm afraid of the dark Especially when I'm in the park When there's no one else around Oh I get the shivers I don't wanna see a ghost It's the sight that I fear most I'd rather have a piece of toast Watch the evening news" Rubbish !! So, any others which make you laugh ? S. |
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#2 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: West Sussex, near the sea!
Posts: 1,668
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Pulp's "MIshapes, mistakes, misfits
Raised on a diet of broken biscuits" |
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: London
Posts: 3,104
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Billy Bragg - Mother of the Bride
"She married him and destroyed all my hopes, of a 2 up 2 down, 2.4 and a dish on the roof for the soaps" |
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#4 |
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Awaiting Confirmation
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Surrey
Posts: 43
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A rap lyric I heard a while ago (don't know the tune)..
"Tonight I might meet my next ex wife" Made me lol not cos it's crap. Just cos its funny
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#5 |
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Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 62,990
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new order -
*you've caught me at a bad time.... so why don't you piss off!* and *Every second counts When I am with you I think you are a pig You should be in a zoo I guess I should've known I'd end up on my own Every second counts when I am with you Every second counts Every little counts When I am with you You make me feel so good I never felt so new I saw you long ago, Though you never let it show Every little counts when I am with you Every little counts when I am with you Every second counts When I am with you Even though you're stupid I still follow you The smile upon your face, It always stays in place Every second counts when I am with you Every second counts when I am with you Every second...* particularly funny, because the lyrics are so blatantly crap, and barney is pissing himself whilst trying to sing them. ![]() Iain |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Capital of a Tiny Island
Posts: 654
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Mel C - If I were you, they make me chuckle every time - patronising cow!
"I couldn't live without my phone but you don't even have a home" |
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Portsmouth
Posts: 589
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I've always liked:-
"But it's hard to get by, when you arse is the size, of a small country" Divine Comedy - National Express |
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Shenzhen, China
Posts: 5,265
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Eminem - My Dad's gone crazy:
F**kin' brains, brawn and brass balls, I cut'em off, and got'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar inside of a hall with my framed autographed sunglasses with Elton John's name on my drag wall, I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off All this time me and Dre been f**kin' with hats off Hilarious. |
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#9 |
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Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 62,990
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*i didn't like you very much when i met you,
i didn't like you very much when i met you, i didn't like you very much when i met you, i didn't like you very much when i met you, i didn't like you very much when i met you, ....and now i like you even less* - the wonder stuff *my favourite way of getting kicks i go down town and hustle chicks beaver patrol! if there's one good thing thats on my side its a big black car - its outta site! beaver patrol!* - PWEI Iain |
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Glasgow,Scotland
Posts: 775
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonLambert
I've always liked:-
"But it's hard to get by, when you arse is the size, of a small country" Divine Comedy - National Express S. |
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#11 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Northants
Posts: 44
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Anyone heard GLC's album? They have a song called 'Your mother's got a penis'
So funny...! |
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: London
Posts: 2,485
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Oh, beat me to it!
What about the middle of Brian McFadden's "Real To Me"? "We'll invite the family round, and drink some English tea, then I'll raise up my fingers, and watch football on TV" |
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,491
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Oasis "Married With Children"
I hate the way that you are so sarcastic And you're not very bright You think that everything you've done is fantastic Your music's shite It keeps me up all night. |
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#14 |
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Posts: n/a
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madmurdoch
A rap lyric I heard a while ago (don't know the tune)..
"Tonight I might meet my next ex wife" Made me lol not cos it's crap. Just cos its funny ![]() The tune is "X" Artist "Xzibit" Album "Restless" Daz |
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#15 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: London
Posts: 7,080
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Hip To Hip by V
When Lady Luck has got me down with her high speed attitude am I feeling kinda high am I feeling kinda low I feel so...I don't know...like...fast food |
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Holodeck 4
Posts: 21,476
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Morrissey has come up with a few good ones:
"Let me get my hands on your mammary glands" - Handsome Devil "Now I know how Joan of Arc felt As the flames rose to her Roman nose And her Walkman started to melt" - Bigmouth Strikes Again "I dreamt about you last night And I fell out of bed twice" - Reel Around the Fountain "Sixteen, clumsy and shy I went to London and I Booked myself in at the YWCA I said I like it here, can I stay? And do you have a vacancy for a back scrubber?" - Half a Person |
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#17 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: West Sussex, near the sea!
Posts: 1,668
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More Morrissey:
"And if a double decker bus crashes into us, To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die" Why do people seem to think that Morrissey and The Smiths are depressing? They always make me laugh - some of their lines are classic! |
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,491
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You could start a whole thread just for Morrissy lol
A personal favourite is from "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now": What she asked of me At the end of the day Caligula would have blushed Also, from the late,great Kirsty MacColl: And then you met that girl Left you with your money spent And now it's no concern of yours If I sleep with the president (My Affair) |
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#19 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 104
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"Let's talk this over, it's not like we're dead" - My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
I laugh with despair at the clowns who bought this sh1t and think it is angst!! |
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#20 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,660
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That new V (short for vocally challenged) song;
You stood up and stole it Cuz you never wanted me You admit you don't feel it That you stood up and stole it from me Why stand up and steal it? If you never wanted me Admit you don't feel it And give it all back to me ...Why?! why?! why?! What the hell is this about again |
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#21 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Buckinghamshire
Posts: 2,516
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Why is there ketchup on my sleave?
Do you think that adam fancied eve? What if eve could not concieve? And he had to breed with steve We"d all be gay Robbie williams-I tried love-hidden track on escapology |
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#22 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: strangeways here I come
Posts: 250
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'the pain was enough to make a shy, bald buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder'
The Morrissey lyric master again. |
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#23 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Holodeck 4
Posts: 21,476
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And from the genius that is Morrissey again:
When I go to visit my mum, who lives on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent, rolling into Sheerness on the train, one song springs to mind: "Trudging slowly over wet sand Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen This is the coastal town That they forgot to close down..." |
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#24 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: South
Posts: 3,468
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Morrisey does have some of the most boring/ rubbishest lyrics ever for the apprant "genious".
But Brian thingimobob from westlife i think has the worst, obviously written by himself, as the song breaks out into a guitar ballad, the crescendo of the song he sings: "then we'll invite the family round and drink some English tea then I raise up my finger and watch football on TV" |
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#25 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,279
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chorlton Fisher
Billy Bragg - Mother of the Bride
"She married him and destroyed all my hopes, of a 2 up 2 down, 2.4 and a dish on the roof for the soaps" from ''Greetings To The New Brunette'' being a personal favourite. As for Morrissey, I'd say ''Frankly Mr Shankly since you ask, you're a flatulent pain in the arse'' is one of the least rubbishest (sic) lines from a song I've ever heard
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