The father of the house appeared from Weston Super Mare
(Until then better known because John Cleese emerged from there);
He had an early bromance with the egg-bath lover Mark,
But got a lot more physical with Maisy in the dark.
He far prefers a boy-band to rapping or N-Dubz,
And as a football chairman sorts the players form the subs.
He often sighs "Oh dear" and calls all other housemates 'poppet',
And when a woman burps too near, he orders them to stoppit.
His cardigans have always seemed a tepid fashion choice,
And his try at karaoke showed his best point's not his voice.
His romancing of faye seemed to be a fragile hope
When her hostile sister augmented his tendency to mope.
On final night he ended up with Jay (or 'Mister Poo');
He won all right, but crowds of people only shouted, "Boo!"
Still, in the end he got some loot, some tv and young Faye;
Once his waxed pubes recover I am sure he'll be OK.

I love it

you are a poet and didn't know it

Great stuff

Ah even his dislikers are waxing lyrical.

"like"

.............

His nemesis was a young Geordie lad called Jay, but who
On that first night would have put him together with the Lou?
They said so little that I thought my TV must be muffling;
Reality TV's most strange and sound effected coupling.
The saddest thing is that my once empassioned love affair,
With the lovely pillowcase on which I laid my hair
Is damaged irredeemably by their romantic wiping;
Poppet's sighing 'oh dear' chant was far more to my liking.

I can't do all this iambic pentagram stuff, not with an East London Comprehensive education.

Lou's pillow case is undergoing treatment at the Priory;
I understand OK and New are bidding for its diary.

Let's hope the nurse won't put on Rebeckah-kah-kah's bed;
She's liable to wrap the thing round poor old Victor's head.

Oops, I wrote those last two lines before I knew that Rebeckah was there. I do see that Victor is calling her 'the Bunny Boiler', so not a fan.

That is brilliant

Its Iambic pentameter isn't it?
oh no that's with five words right..

Shakespeare's favourite. As Brian Belo would presumably know.

(Not five words btw. Five stresses.)

Terrible poetry! The iambic couplet is the last two lines in a poem that uses iambic pentatmeter - that is, has five pairs of syllables with a 'de dum' rythmn running through each line.

Clearly wonkey should stick to her fine critiques rather than strolling down Wordsworth Avenue.

Yeah but iambic just means pertaining to a foot or "de-dum" iamb. So this is iambic heptameter with 14 syllables arranged into 7 feet, a well-recognised form. The meter used is remarkably consistent, though towards the end extra beats and some inverted feet appear. But it's a fun exercise, one can get too hung up on conventions!

Crikey. I think you are confusing things as the last two lines of a SONNET are iambic pentameters. Not all poems are sonnets.

Thank you dear thing. I confess to the inverted feet though. I must see a podiatrist.

Yes Sheikaman, back to Wikipedia with you..

Tis a modern day Love story all angsty and dark,
For we all know his true love is none but Mark

Oh dear.

I thought this modern day poetry stuff wasn't supposed to rhyme?

I'm sure Aaron prefers the rhyming kind.