Wednesday morning.
Ken's office.
Moira Ross enters.

Moira, how's it hanging?

Not so bad since I had the therapy, thanks. Now look, Ken, you have to help me.

How, honeybun?

OK, the Christmas Special got slated and the last series didn't get the acclaim it deserved. I need a HIT-SHOW and I need it now.

Go on, sweetcheeks.

It's a spectacular! SCD: The GAY Gordons! You have to get me 10 Gordons within the week to start rehearsals.

It can't be done!

Hey, I've signed up the big one already, Ken!

OK, so you got Ramsay. But what about Brown? How'm I supposed to find him? Nobody's seen him since Methuselah was a boy!

You're the detective, Ken. What do I pay your for?

Speaking of remuneration - what's in it for me?

Ken, Ken, Ken. We're spending a lot on Ramsay and this is an age of austerity so how about a personal reading with Russell Grant, a dance lesson with Aliona and a lifetime's supply of sequins?

Hmm, I suppose those dental veneers and forehead fillers don't come cheap. OK, I'll go with the sequins and the dance lesson. Make it Natalie AND Flavia though. Ya get me?

And Russell?

I'll pass on Russell.

Sorry, what did you say? You'll do WHAT on Russell?

Moira, stop muckin' about. And you do know Ramsay isn't gay. The whole nation knows.

They don't technically have to be gay. Russell is giving them a crash course in campery before they get down to the dancing. That should be enough to satisfy Ofcom.

But that's still only two out of ten!

Ken, I'm giving you Natalie AND Flavia. If that doesn't motivate you....

Moira leaves.
Ken muses.
8 more Gordons!
Can YOU help?

Hannah Gordon? It's Strictly tradition now that we have to have at least one glamorous older lady

Ken'll be right on to it! Any leads?

This guy is a MUST.

Ah, but the problem with him is, he's always legless....

Gordon McQueen. He's a SPORTSMAN and he's TALL. [He probably dances like a wardrobe too]

Gordon Shumway is the man. He brings his own props!

Flash Gordon. He's already got the right wardobe

Gordon the Gopher?

Edit - just realised I'm too late with that one! I was in such a hurry I only flicked quickly through the other posts!

Er... Gordon Sumner? I think that's Sting's real name!

Gordon Strachan (don't think I have the surname spelt correctly.... but surely that fits the bill for a "Scottish" person (for Terry and Tom to get behind) plus the compulsory sportsman thing...

Gordon Burns (?) the guy who used to present Krypton Factor?

Gordon Bennett.....

Gordon Banks Could save the posts

Gordon Jackson could come back Downstairs

Rory Brembner could be any Gordon you want

Add John Culshaw & you could get two!

I believe there is an engine called Gordon to keep it on track

John Gordon Sinclair.

And for the history fans, General Gordon of Khartoum. He could fill the Robbie Savage slot as it were.

I'm not doing any work for a private detective that wears hawaiian short sleeved shirts and has facial hair like that.

What? You mean facial hair like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxhqV...layer_embedded

worth another airing?

This is one of the more amusing post Strictly threads... so yes..

Pity the mods won't allow the polls on here (like the vote on all series/couples poll that was started here but moved to the games part).

It might stop some of the more facetious threads!

And all the Gay Gordons

My Uncle Gordon?!

Joseph Gordon Levitt

Gordon is a Moron.


I somehow doubt you could release such a song nowadays.

True but trouble is I don't know any other ladies called Gordon EXCEPT:
Hannah Gordon's daughter and sister (her mother may be stretching it a bit )

Surely you've overlooked

Gordon Bleux

the chef.

Having said that - who played Rene in Hello hello? Does a Gorden count?