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Worst Facebook status updates
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marcina bolan
05-02-2012
Originally Posted by dentures:
“any status that includes the phrase 'last night's antics'.”

ditto the ones that simply put 'wrecked.com'.
Star_Bright
06-02-2012
Funny thread.
fredcat
06-02-2012
Oh shutup!! If u loved mee u wouldnt go away out on the drink, cheating on mee, mugging mee off and treating mee like s***e and forgetting something that means soo much too mee that im getting in the f***ing morning that iv been worrying about for weeks p.s dont come too hosp or il sign myself out

followed by loads of people asking what's wrong and what's happened and then the person saying they don't want to talk about it
pugamo
06-02-2012
Originally Posted by fredcat:
“Oh shutup!! If u loved mee u wouldnt go away out on the drink, cheating on mee, mugging mee off and treating mee like s***e and forgetting something that means soo much too mee that im getting in the f***ing morning that iv been worrying about for weeks p.s dont come too hosp or il sign myself out

followed by loads of people asking what's wrong and what's happened and then the person saying they don't want to talk about it ”

My boyfriend's ex must have posted this to her new boyfriend. Sounds like the kind of attention seeking crap she'd pull the nutter.

Today I have :"They should make a Barbie with no hair, so that every little girl that is fighting cancer feels beautiful!! Put her in pink with a head scarf, and name her HOPE. Give the proceeds from the sales to cancer research. Post this if you agree and I bet you 99% of you won't. ♥"
Shadow27
06-02-2012
I hate 'vaguebooking'. When someone puts 'it's all over' or something and then a chain of people ask 'What's up' or 'OMG' and nobody is any the wiser as the vaguebooker alludes to a major crisis. Usually they've lost their socks or something tedious but OMG the world ended...

Oh and the worse was the Photoshopped clear blue pregnancy stick photo. Instead of saying how many days pregnant, the words were adjusted to 'only joking'. Seriously I had a former friend share this with me knowing that I'd miscarried last year.
fizzle90
06-02-2012
Another vote for stupid, pointless updates about kids.

I've got a couple of facebook friends that literally post things like, "xxx has just unwrapped a chocolate, so proud!" and "xxx is so clever, she slept from 8pm-1am then 2am-6am!!!!!!"

Yawn.
TOONARMY12
06-02-2012
Originally Posted by Shadow27:
“I hate 'vaguebooking'. When someone puts 'it's all over' or something and then a chain of people ask 'What's up' or 'OMG' and nobody is any the wiser as the vaguebooker alludes to a major crisis. Usually they've lost their socks or something tedious but OMG the world ended...

Oh and the worse was the Photoshopped clear blue pregnancy stick photo. Instead of saying how many days pregnant, the words were adjusted to 'only joking'. Seriously I had a former friend share this with me knowing that I'd miscarried last year.”

Wow what a pleasant person
Scott_P
06-02-2012
there is an asian guy on my friends list who frequently puts pro islamic statuses (statii?), praise allah etc but much more rambling

i was going to delete him as i don't really want his religion shoved down my throat but didn't want to open the racism can of worms ("you deleted him because of his religion?!" FASCIST!!!")

drunk statuses piss me off too, i used to work with a load of 18-19 year old guys and i swear, if you listened to them talking you'd think they invented getting drunk. Their statuses reflect this "lolz i was ****ing mashed last night!" or "ugh, hangover" the next morning.

I hate my friends.
Jason100
06-02-2012
Originally Posted by Shadow27:
“I hate 'vaguebooking'. When someone puts 'it's all over' or something and then a chain of people ask 'What's up' or 'OMG' and nobody is any the wiser as the vaguebooker alludes to a major crisis. Usually they've lost their socks or something tedious but OMG the world ended...”


One of last night's statuses on my wall:

"I seem to fall out with all my friends"
Comments:
You alright babe?
Yeah, i'm fine thanx
goonst
06-02-2012
I'm a member of a local anti-racist group on FB and there's a brouhaha clogging up my feed at the minute about the admin being all white. A black activist demanded some black people be made admin, so one of the admin promoted him right away, but now there's a battle about whether or not this is ludicrous tokenism or whether we're all terrible hypocrites for only letting the whites have the power. It's such a ****ing farce, as usual. It's an FB group, being an admin of it means next to nothing, I had no idea who the admin even are let alone what colour their skin was, and as long as when we meet (hardly ever these days) everyone is equal then we should stop making a fuss about bloody nothing. I'm so sick of this People's Front of Judea bullshit.

Also there's someone on that group who I know to be a sociopath and a rank misogynist and every time I see him moralising I want to scream and wound people.

I shouldn't be on Facebook.
sam.hall13
06-02-2012
Originally Posted by pugamo:
“I want to know why Luke and his fiance are always ill??”

Setting the groundwork for a disability claim no doubt.
Mel1314
06-02-2012
I just saw one - 'Eww my nipple peircing is pussing :/ ...'

Yuck!! Why would you put that as your status?! The ones that annoy the hell out of me have already been mentioned, the attention seeking ones!! Usually followed by 'inbox me' or 'doesn't matter babes' when asked what's up.

I'm close to deleting one of my cousins actually, cos 99% of her statuses are about how drunk she is, how she needs a fag, or who she's going to beat up next. I promise that kind of thing doesn't run in the family
iamsofired
06-02-2012
Originally Posted by vierte:
“This

"We all need prayers right now. If you are my friend click the like button & then re-post. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my "Facebook Family" wherever you may be, to kindly copy, paste and share this status to give a prayer of support to all those who have family problems, struggles and worries and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us for no-one is im..."

The person puts about 7 of these up a day, does my head in. Would delete her but she's family and then whinged if I don't comment or like her crap every few days so can't even hide her!”

Ugh I hate all that sentimental copy and paste BS,
netcurtains
06-02-2012
The most irritating ones come from my daughter and her friends. "FML" "What's up?" "DM" "Inbox me" "k". Inane emo prittle prattle but I can't help reading it!
Helbore
06-02-2012
Originally Posted by goonst:
“I just had another skim over Luke's wall and oh god.

They cannot be for real.

Look at the comment chain underneath his post about the dentist.

Luke:

im glad we can nver wait aswell and it will always be this way for us babe i promise you that and your right we will always feel the sameway bout everything babe and it will never change mot ever im glad we both promise that to eachother and that will always be good with me babe promise you that and it would be better tommorow cus my tablets run out then and i have dentist on thursday babe and im glad thats all that matters to us aswell babe

Rachel:

I'm glad we feel the sameway bout that and i'm glad it will always be this way for us and i'm glad we promise eachother that babe and i'm glad we both know that we will always feel the sameway bout everything and i'm glad we know it won't ever change not ever and i'm glad we promise eachother that to baby and i'm glad it will always be gd wiv you babe and i'm glad you promise me that and that's fine babe i will stay tommorrow and i hope they sort yr tooth out and that is all that will ever matter to us babe i have no doubts bout that and thanks babe and i'm sure i will feel lot's better

”

Just imagine if they ever broke up!
imaginary cop
06-02-2012
Hamburger partially digested, NYPD on their way.

That's the last one I read.
Helbore
06-02-2012
Haha, oh dear. I see the link to this thread on Luke Lawton's Facebook. We all better hope those guns are just airsoft!

Actually, to be honest, I think I'm more scared of wifey.
THEONEFROMHERE
07-02-2012
"You Wanna Sort Ya Fukin Mongy GF Out Sayin U Can't See Ya Kids My Mum As Four 2 U Ya Wanna Grow A Pair Of Balls And Actually Tell Her U Do Want A Relationship With Ya Kids Or Was That Wat U Said On Jezza Aload Of Fukin Shit"
hotmat3k
07-02-2012
Typical teacher tweets (I know plenty from my old work):

"I hope we're going to get a snow day tomorrow "
"X days left until I escape from work and get on holiday!"
"Can't stand all of this marking to do on a Sunday night "

Always sounds like they think they deserve one when clearly a third of thei year is not spent at work! And the sympathy "I have to do marking books and homework in my spare time". Hold on, there's something called overtime without pay in the world outside education .
Custardtart
07-02-2012
Originally Posted by hotmat3k:
“Typical teacher tweets (I know plenty from my old work):

"I hope we're going to get a snow day tomorrow "
"X days left until I escape from work and get on holiday!"
"Can't stand all of this marking to do on a Sunday night "

Always sounds like they think they deserve one when clearly a third of thei year is not spent at work! And the sympathy "I have to do marking books and homework in my spare time". Hold on, there's something called overtime without pay in the world outside education .”


I see an lot of this from old school friends who are now newly qualified/ been teacher for 5 mins ,''had to stay till past 5 today ' or ' urghh so many books to mark '' oh how horrific it must be have a career !!
podgicus
07-02-2012
Originally Posted by Custardtart:
“I see an lot of this from old school friends who are now newly qualified/ been teacher for 5 mins ,''had to stay till past 5 today ' or ' urghh so many books to mark '' oh how horrific it must be have a career !! ”

I have a teacher friend, who along with the 'overtime' statuses revels in the fact he's on holiday when a lot of others are at work in half term/Easter/Summer holidays. He's only really popular with his teacher mates on FB..
hotmat3k
07-02-2012
Originally Posted by podgicus:
“I have a teacher friend, who along with the 'overtime' statuses revels in the fact he's on holiday when a lot of others are at work in half term/Easter/Summer holidays. He's only really popular with his teacher mates on FB..”

Ditto! They're always bragging where they're going and more importantly how much they're going to enjoy it.

Sorry any DS members who are teachers. Maybe this is the new generation of teachers, I don't know.
podgicus
07-02-2012
Originally Posted by hotmat3k:
“Ditto! They're always bragging where they're going and more importantly how much they're going to enjoy it.

Sorry any DS members who are teachers. Maybe this is the new generation of teachers, I don't know. ”

Haha, I'd love to say it was just the new generation but my parents friends who have been teachers for 30+ years are the same when chatting in person (I'm not friends with them on facebook so I don't know about their statuses).
Trsvis_Bickle
07-02-2012
Originally Posted by Helbore:
“Haha, oh dear. I see the link to this thread on Luke Lawton's Facebook. We all better hope those guns are just airsoft!Actually, to be honest, I think I'm more scared of wifey.”

Yes, only airguns, so the most you'd get is a nasty bruise On the flipside, it does rule out a suicide pact, which would undoubtedly improve the gene pool...
Odd Socks
07-02-2012
Wow at Luke's FB page, that is just amazing

Why isn't he famous already and why does he not seem to see an awful lot of his 'wifey'? Is she somewhere 'safe'?
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